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3.66 AVERAGE
3.66 AVERAGE
Ooh, how do I get started. I really hope this is entertaining cause this is written for my sister.
This is not a nice review. If that makes you angry or sad, literacy may be a prison (it was for this book), but it's certainly not an obligation (as I demonstrated here by DNF-ing the book) for this review. Unless you're a glutton for punishment, which in that case, read on you little masochist! But literally if you don't agree with it I do not care. I do not care. I can't. Gone from me.
DNF at 23%
Y'all know Lore Olympus? This writer certainly does!
Y'all ever try writing a book and it sounds like a book you've already read? This writer certainly has!
Y'all can't create interesting characters or a decent plot? I'll stop here.
IDK if anyone was the same level of brainrot I was/am, but I really really hope you understand what I mean when I say this author has the polyvore outfits things like from old fanfiction.net when she's describing an outfit. Which is, like, fine, except that it's actually really juvenile and not actually fine at all. Actually really boring. Like too much detail going into the pink blouse with white skirt that matches the clutch and shoes and bracelet every day (I thought they were poor???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????)
I dunno who the audiobook narrator is but she's unbearable, so honestly she did a great job. Round of applause. Persephone sounded 12 and dumb, everyone else sounded generally just dumb. Like a washed-out version of a washed-out trope. Like they all had PARTS and they all did PLAY. ThEM.
Stupidest premise for a book I've ever had the dishonor of reading and I tried taking Ayn Rand seriously. So, all these Gods from Mount Olympus come down from the skies or whatever, ruin the tectonic plates (and the carefully millenia-in-the-making ecosystems, and geophysics, and magnetism, and climate, and ocean currents, and technology, and and and--)
"But ooooohhhhhhh it's fantasy stop thinking so hardddddd ughghghghghghrarrahrhrahrmemerme!"
Yeah! It is fantasy! Wouldn't it have been cool if the author took advantage of the genre? And did something actually cool? Fantasy doesn't excuse laziness. Making HUGE changes like this would have been NEAT to delve into, so many things could be mentioned, so many instances of this oh-so-powerful-power these guys are supposed to have, but no. Legit the earth was un-Pangaea-ed play-doh style and nothing is said on it??? By the plant girl, daughter of plant mom??? Nothing. Nothing at all. Nothing by anyone else.
ThEN! Not even after that, they establish themselves as massive heads-of-corporations and then??? Just???? Disappear again? Like why come down and mold the earth to fit their map just to screw off yet again? Could have been avoided. Worst second coming ever. But of course they established themselves as mega-capitalists cause you know how much depth actual financial literacy would add to this book? Especially as POOR college students? Especially ONE POOR college student suddenly getting a SUGAR DADDY with MORE SUGAR than American desserts? It really coulda been nuanced is all I'm saying.
But also the gods aren't, like, found anywhere. It's mentioned so many (so so many) times that the gods aren't ever usually at their places of work cause they just have so much money and freedom or whatever idk so Hades is never in his club. Simultaneously. He does not leave his club. Like. That's where he is and has been and likely will be cause that is literally the only space he occupies. Agoraphobia king? But it will, like, describe Persephone walking recklessly into the club or something looking for Hades and she'll find him there pouring himself 3 fingers of whisky right there at club bar? Girly. Girrrlyyyyyyyyy. Do you know how gross clubs are the morning after? No matter (NO MATTER) the club, it is Gross. Smell of BO, smell of piss, smell of spilt alcohol, trash ALL OVER the floor. Sticky. Not a cute place to go drool and pant over a Guy while also being five-minutes-crafts snarky (even though she hasn't been snarky at all in her entire life.) Her entire character is contradicting literally every thought and action she has/does that I really can't criticize cause she Does Not Exist Outside Her Head.
She worked in her mothers greenhouse growing up and she'll bring it up more than once cause apparently that was the worst thing ever and she'll constantly say "glass prison more like." Girl shut up. Shut allllll the way up. Shuddup. She was just. So abused poor thing. What a poor girl working in the plant room with her plant mom as a plant goddess. Her life was just. So hard. (She makes several references as being the goddess of spring, but also not having magic, not having any plant interest, and it's like. Reject divinity then. Also, aren't you the goddess of spring post-abduction? Like I feel like the abduction was necessary for there to be spring. Unless she didn't get abducted yet and everyone's vibe-checking her like "hm goddess of spring! interesting! IDK What a spring is but they go boioioing sometimes ig." OOh wait maybe that's her magic. She's a toymaker. Diagnosed.)
I just can't get over how Persephone is so desperate to live her life / a life, and then she proceeds to not have one at all. She doesn't do anything except obsess over her mom. Like, it would be fun to try and see the life she wants to have but she's too busy being bullied by her mom and groomed by Uncle Hades. No hobbies, she doesn't actually do anything interesting at her job, no classes. She wakes up, shows her polyvore outfit, describes herself in the mirror for the readers, gets hot and sweaty thinking about Hades' unbuttoned collar, gets angry at her mom, and then goes to see Hades to try and one up him. That is it. AND Don't tell me that it's because of hades and mom keeping her from finding her true potential. She had time BEFORE the book started to join a club. Now I need a two-page summary of how it changed her life. And it was due at the inciting incident! No late submissions!
She also wants to write mystery, but for the life of her she can't 1) discover her own mysteries even when they're staring her in the face 2) read the very obvious body language, patterns, clues, details that are leading to very obvious answers for her very stupid questions. Like. Holy crap it's good she's sticking to mysteries, she'd make a bad actual mystery-solver. Give this woman a podcast! Oh my gosh wait is that why it was written the way it was written.
Listen, I know an interest in true crime/dying/creepydark things is a character trait many (millennials) love to have, but c'mon guys it feels like a weird 9 year old girl trying to impress her older brother's friends. And I'm not saying this so people go "I stand with the weird little girls I was one!!!!" I mean like genuinely that we've all had the same thoughts before. Like. This was not a unique experience. Every little girl did weird stuff, including but not limited to witchcraft, ritualistic rites, and hyper fixations on deaths and methods of death. And if you haven't, you have something to look forward to! Let me know how it goes. But this isn't something outstanding enough to write about with a skinny blonde girl with too much time and money with overtones of quirky death-uncle romance. "she likes mysteries" so do most animals with brains. mysteries are puzzles and are for creatures with brains. they're literally brain activities. Like. Why was the author trying to make it seem like Persephone was getting discriminated against for writing mysteries instead of romance. Her writing mysteries is legit probably the most acceptable part of this entire thing.
I have nothing to say about the romance. He's an old man and she's a young girl. Seen it, read it, watched it, I don't like it. Rewrites/retellings need to be done better to be interesting. If you do like it it's probably because youre actually his age now.
"OOOHHrrgghrarareremememe but she's an adullllltttt!!!!!!!!" I know and so are most of the readers for this so yeah maybe anti-intellectual literature is actively reducing the literacy rate. (If you don't know what that means, it means bad book make person dumb.) People read their not-banter and went "mhm yep she's me I'm her and I'm his." Like no ur not ur 35.
I have to keep thinking about this.
No I actually don't want to.
-1.5...............dumb characters
-0.5..............bad premise
-2.................typos/unprofessional writing and publishing
-1..................no real substance
+1..................it's the lowest I could give
so yeah, 1/5 stars. I'd give less if I could :P
You made it down here! Nice good job I'm proud of you. I write bad*, sorry about that, but you got through it! Woo!
*Hm, maybe I should try my shot at a Hades/Persephone retelling. Hm hm hmmm. Just thoughts.
This is not a nice review. If that makes you angry or sad, literacy may be a prison (it was for this book), but it's certainly not an obligation (as I demonstrated here by DNF-ing the book) for this review. Unless you're a glutton for punishment, which in that case, read on you little masochist! But literally if you don't agree with it I do not care. I do not care. I can't. Gone from me.
DNF at 23%
Y'all know Lore Olympus? This writer certainly does!
Y'all ever try writing a book and it sounds like a book you've already read? This writer certainly has!
Y'all can't create interesting characters or a decent plot? I'll stop here.
IDK if anyone was the same level of brainrot I was/am, but I really really hope you understand what I mean when I say this author has the polyvore outfits things like from old fanfiction.net when she's describing an outfit. Which is, like, fine, except that it's actually really juvenile and not actually fine at all. Actually really boring. Like too much detail going into the pink blouse with white skirt that matches the clutch and shoes and bracelet every day (I thought they were poor???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????)
I dunno who the audiobook narrator is but she's unbearable, so honestly she did a great job. Round of applause. Persephone sounded 12 and dumb, everyone else sounded generally just dumb. Like a washed-out version of a washed-out trope. Like they all had PARTS and they all did PLAY. ThEM.
Stupidest premise for a book I've ever had the dishonor of reading and I tried taking Ayn Rand seriously. So, all these Gods from Mount Olympus come down from the skies or whatever, ruin the tectonic plates (and the carefully millenia-in-the-making ecosystems, and geophysics, and magnetism, and climate, and ocean currents, and technology, and and and--)
"But ooooohhhhhhh it's fantasy stop thinking so hardddddd ughghghghghghrarrahrhrahrmemerme!"
Yeah! It is fantasy! Wouldn't it have been cool if the author took advantage of the genre? And did something actually cool? Fantasy doesn't excuse laziness. Making HUGE changes like this would have been NEAT to delve into, so many things could be mentioned, so many instances of this oh-so-powerful-power these guys are supposed to have, but no. Legit the earth was un-Pangaea-ed play-doh style and nothing is said on it??? By the plant girl, daughter of plant mom??? Nothing. Nothing at all. Nothing by anyone else.
ThEN! Not even after that, they establish themselves as massive heads-of-corporations and then??? Just???? Disappear again? Like why come down and mold the earth to fit their map just to screw off yet again? Could have been avoided. Worst second coming ever. But of course they established themselves as mega-capitalists cause you know how much depth actual financial literacy would add to this book? Especially as POOR college students? Especially ONE POOR college student suddenly getting a SUGAR DADDY with MORE SUGAR than American desserts? It really coulda been nuanced is all I'm saying.
But also the gods aren't, like, found anywhere. It's mentioned so many (so so many) times that the gods aren't ever usually at their places of work cause they just have so much money and freedom or whatever idk so Hades is never in his club. Simultaneously. He does not leave his club. Like. That's where he is and has been and likely will be cause that is literally the only space he occupies. Agoraphobia king? But it will, like, describe Persephone walking recklessly into the club or something looking for Hades and she'll find him there pouring himself 3 fingers of whisky right there at club bar? Girly. Girrrlyyyyyyyyy. Do you know how gross clubs are the morning after? No matter (NO MATTER) the club, it is Gross. Smell of BO, smell of piss, smell of spilt alcohol, trash ALL OVER the floor. Sticky. Not a cute place to go drool and pant over a Guy while also being five-minutes-crafts snarky (even though she hasn't been snarky at all in her entire life.) Her entire character is contradicting literally every thought and action she has/does that I really can't criticize cause she Does Not Exist Outside Her Head.
She worked in her mothers greenhouse growing up and she'll bring it up more than once cause apparently that was the worst thing ever and she'll constantly say "glass prison more like." Girl shut up. Shut allllll the way up. Shuddup. She was just. So abused poor thing. What a poor girl working in the plant room with her plant mom as a plant goddess. Her life was just. So hard. (She makes several references as being the goddess of spring, but also not having magic, not having any plant interest, and it's like. Reject divinity then. Also, aren't you the goddess of spring post-abduction? Like I feel like the abduction was necessary for there to be spring. Unless she didn't get abducted yet and everyone's vibe-checking her like "hm goddess of spring! interesting! IDK What a spring is but they go boioioing sometimes ig." OOh wait maybe that's her magic. She's a toymaker. Diagnosed.)
I just can't get over how Persephone is so desperate to live her life / a life, and then she proceeds to not have one at all. She doesn't do anything except obsess over her mom. Like, it would be fun to try and see the life she wants to have but she's too busy being bullied by her mom and groomed by Uncle Hades. No hobbies, she doesn't actually do anything interesting at her job, no classes. She wakes up, shows her polyvore outfit, describes herself in the mirror for the readers, gets hot and sweaty thinking about Hades' unbuttoned collar, gets angry at her mom, and then goes to see Hades to try and one up him. That is it. AND Don't tell me that it's because of hades and mom keeping her from finding her true potential. She had time BEFORE the book started to join a club. Now I need a two-page summary of how it changed her life. And it was due at the inciting incident! No late submissions!
She also wants to write mystery, but for the life of her she can't 1) discover her own mysteries even when they're staring her in the face 2) read the very obvious body language, patterns, clues, details that are leading to very obvious answers for her very stupid questions. Like. Holy crap it's good she's sticking to mysteries, she'd make a bad actual mystery-solver. Give this woman a podcast! Oh my gosh wait is that why it was written the way it was written.
Listen, I know an interest in true crime/dying/creepydark things is a character trait many (millennials) love to have, but c'mon guys it feels like a weird 9 year old girl trying to impress her older brother's friends. And I'm not saying this so people go "I stand with the weird little girls I was one!!!!" I mean like genuinely that we've all had the same thoughts before. Like. This was not a unique experience. Every little girl did weird stuff, including but not limited to witchcraft, ritualistic rites, and hyper fixations on deaths and methods of death. And if you haven't, you have something to look forward to! Let me know how it goes. But this isn't something outstanding enough to write about with a skinny blonde girl with too much time and money with overtones of quirky death-uncle romance. "she likes mysteries" so do most animals with brains. mysteries are puzzles and are for creatures with brains. they're literally brain activities. Like. Why was the author trying to make it seem like Persephone was getting discriminated against for writing mysteries instead of romance. Her writing mysteries is legit probably the most acceptable part of this entire thing.
I have nothing to say about the romance. He's an old man and she's a young girl. Seen it, read it, watched it, I don't like it. Rewrites/retellings need to be done better to be interesting. If you do like it it's probably because youre actually his age now.
"OOOHHrrgghrarareremememe but she's an adullllltttt!!!!!!!!" I know and so are most of the readers for this so yeah maybe anti-intellectual literature is actively reducing the literacy rate. (If you don't know what that means, it means bad book make person dumb.) People read their not-banter and went "mhm yep she's me I'm her and I'm his." Like no ur not ur 35.
I have to keep thinking about this.
No I actually don't want to.
-1.5...............dumb characters
-0.5..............bad premise
-2.................typos/unprofessional writing and publishing
-1..................no real substance
+1..................it's the lowest I could give
so yeah, 1/5 stars. I'd give less if I could :P
You made it down here! Nice good job I'm proud of you. I write bad*, sorry about that, but you got through it! Woo!
*Hm, maybe I should try my shot at a Hades/Persephone retelling. Hm hm hmmm. Just thoughts.
challenging
emotional
tense
fast-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
A mix
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Complicated
Diverse cast of characters:
Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
adventurous
dark
tense
fast-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
A mix
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Yes
Diverse cast of characters:
Complicated
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
I can’t believe this was published in 2019. In fact I thought this might have been an old book written in like 2009 on Wattpad by someone who definitely wasn’t an adult. Anyways go read mafia au or some other bullshit on wattpad for the exact same premise and shitty logic.
adventurous
emotional
relaxing
fast-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Plot
Strong character development:
Complicated
Loveable characters:
Yes
Diverse cast of characters:
No
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
adventurous
challenging
dark
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
mysterious
sad
tense
medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Yes
Diverse cast of characters:
No
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
I am not going to lie, before I started this book, I thought "do I really need another Hades and Persephone love story book after reading Neon Gods" - which I enjoyed by the way. I also unfortunately made the mistake of reading other reviews which cast this book in a bit of a negative light. Well, I found the answer to my original question within the first chapter of the book, and it is resoundingly - yes, I definitely now and always will crave another Greek mythology love stories. I found the other reviews of this book to harshly judge Persephone's portrayal in this book - stating she is annoying and constantly questioning her judgement. Guys, c'mon, what were you expecting? Her character is young - still in college, still questioning her identity, and a virgin that has been locked in a glass cage by her ruthless mother for most of her life. Of course, she is going to be annoying and constantly questioning her judgement - who the hell knew their full and identity while still in college? Hats off if it was you - but that seems less realistic than this searching portrayal. Negative reviews annoyed but a Greek Mythology set in modern-day times, why? If you want a traditional telling of Greek Mythology - which will likely be boring and pedantic - remove yourself from this genre and crack open the Iliad or the Odyssey to set your soul afire. In other words, leave this book alone. Persephone is young, naive and soul-searching, but not outside of should be expected in her life stage and circumstances. If you still cannot get over her character, then move on to this book's portrayal of the other characters which you cannot and should not overlook. Hades is the embodiment of seduction, and it is to lose yourself in the hope to one day have someone so self-aware, confident, and sexy to exist in reality. Persephone might not be deserving of Hades' pursuit, but the intrigue of the development of their relationship is rapturous and had me addicted. If you are opposed to racy themes, this book is probably not for you, but then again - why are you even picking up this genre if that's the case? Perhaps, you need to do your own soul-searching - what are you looking for? Hades and Persephone's characters are enhanced further by the endearing side characters - Hecate, Hermes, Thanatos which are juxtaposed to spiteful characters of Adonis, Minthe, Demeter, and Aphrodite. The only character that I found mildly annoying in this book was Lexa, but it could be because of the narrator's voice characterization - meaning her purpose and placement are well-meaning with good intent but the vocalization is cringy. There are some similarities to Neon Gods which is to be expected, but in my opinion this book contains a more in depth to the character's personalities, depth, and holds more balance in the mythical development. There are steamy interludes, but I felt they were not as littered with gratuity or repetition much like what Neon Gods delivered. Neon Gods was good if you want in your face steaminess and the feel of flushed skin while reading it. A Touch of Darkness is good is you want mythology and lust with some decorum while reading about a love story with character development. With that said, I highly recommend this book and I look forward to delving into the rest of the series.
dark
emotional
mysterious
fast-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Yes
Diverse cast of characters:
No
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexual content
Moderate: Emotional abuse, Sexual assault, Alcohol
Minor: Addiction, Child death, Death, Drug use
adventurous
emotional
tense
medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
fast-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Yes
Diverse cast of characters:
Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes