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4.33 AVERAGE
4.33 AVERAGE
A bit hard to get into. I went to boarding school so I tend towards stories about it, so that helped. But not everyone really needs to write a memoir.
Lacy Crawford tells a brutal, harrowing tale. You really can't give a book like this anything less than five stars. After all, "the absence of an empathetic listener, or more radically, the absence of an addressable other, an other who can hear the anguish of one's memories and thus affirm and recognize their realness, annihilates the story." (Dori Laub, "Bearing Witness of the Vicissitudes of Listening.") Annihilate the story, and of course, you eradicate the teller. Crawford deserves better than that.
What struck me most was the perspective Crawford's story leant to a story I'm familiar with. I caught myself thinking: if 'this' one incident can do 'this' to a person, then what can years of it do? If 'this' can do 'this' to a person at 'that age', what can it do to a person several years younger? If this level of malice can be this destructive, what can a more refined, mature malice do? It added several shocking layers to the horror I hadn't appreciated before. I am in terrible pain.
What struck me most was the perspective Crawford's story leant to a story I'm familiar with. I caught myself thinking: if 'this' one incident can do 'this' to a person, then what can years of it do? If 'this' can do 'this' to a person at 'that age', what can it do to a person several years younger? If this level of malice can be this destructive, what can a more refined, mature malice do? It added several shocking layers to the horror I hadn't appreciated before. I am in terrible pain.
This book was difficult to read and at the same time I could not put it down..how many of these stories do we need to read before women, girls voices are heard and elite “institutions” and the wealthy, privileged young men who attend are held accountable. No wonder the climate in our country is what is currently...
Lacy, and others (Chantel Miller, Christine Blasey Ford ) are brave women for sharing their stories.
Well-written; can feel her pain and isolation. Her parents do not come off well at all. Devastating.
Lacy, and others (Chantel Miller, Christine Blasey Ford ) are brave women for sharing their stories.
Well-written; can feel her pain and isolation. Her parents do not come off well at all. Devastating.
“First, they refused to believe me. Then they shamed me. Then they silenced me.”
This memoir made me so angry. Like, I finished it days ago, and I’m still angry. I am just so disgusted by schools and institutions that are more concerned about protecting their reputations and profits, instead of their students. And knowing how prevalent it actually is just infuriates me more.
I applaud Crawford for sharing her story, and exposing the men who sexually assaulted her and the boarding school that protected them.
Crawford doesn’t hold back in her memoir, and there are parts that are very hard to read. But I think this is such an important topic, and if you’re able to read this, I highly suggest it.
I look forward to discussing Notes on a Silencing with my #buddyreadyourmemoirs later this month.
This memoir made me so angry. Like, I finished it days ago, and I’m still angry. I am just so disgusted by schools and institutions that are more concerned about protecting their reputations and profits, instead of their students. And knowing how prevalent it actually is just infuriates me more.
I applaud Crawford for sharing her story, and exposing the men who sexually assaulted her and the boarding school that protected them.
Crawford doesn’t hold back in her memoir, and there are parts that are very hard to read. But I think this is such an important topic, and if you’re able to read this, I highly suggest it.
I look forward to discussing Notes on a Silencing with my #buddyreadyourmemoirs later this month.
Devastating portrait of a young girl's rape at a privileged boarding school and its aftermath. Ms Crawford's beautiful prose details the breathtaking scope of the school's culpability and cruelty. Worse than the rape itself was the decades-long cover up and legal and verbal assault on Ms Crawford and her family by St. Paul's (yes, that St. Paul's). Even her boyfriend, a star hockey player, was inexplicably "benched" for his association with her (two hockey players were her rapists). Ms. Crawford was subject to ostracism, sexual harassment, and daily indignities by her classmates, and even St. Paul's alum (she was actually raped a 2nd time by a former hockey player who broke into her room late one night). Every woman, every parent should read this. We must do better by our children - especially our daughters, but also our sons. And corrupt institutions who create and foster the cultures that lead to such horrific physical and emotional abuse must be brought to task.
I was so moved by this recounting of Lacy Crawford’s experiences at St Paul’s. I teared up multiple times. It was a hard story to listen to, but her telling was amazing. It did make me incredibly sad and angry that an institution that was charged with educating and protecting young people would resort to such methods to protect the institution, and a religious one at that.
Impossible to put down. As a teacher at a boarding school, it terrifies me to contemplate how little the author’s teachers knew about what was happening to her.
This is a must-read for anyone who cannot fathom why a woman would not report a sexual assault for years. It brilliantly illustrates the complexity of rape, the layers of person in the victim. It excuses no one. The duplicity of institutions, the fumbled communication of parents, the coldness of peers, the unexpected bounty of being understood at different pivotal times. Sexual assault is, above all, a power play and sometimes, those who screw you the worst are not the ones who actually touched you against your will. Her word power is impressive as she conveys, on a visceral level, life as a teenager in this hothouse setting for the progeny of the rich, famous, and influential. She lays herself bare in a way that may encourage others along the road to healing and self-forgiveness. I am so impressed despite the burning at my heels from my own well-caged dragons.