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mofongobookclub's review against another edition
emotional
informative
reflective
sad
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
2.0
a_obrien55's review against another edition
emotional
hopeful
inspiring
lighthearted
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.5
koz108's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
hopeful
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
dev921's review against another edition
emotional
hopeful
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Suicide attempt, Drug use, Eating disorder, Self harm, Medical content, Pregnancy, Toxic relationship, Cursing, Alcoholism, Body shaming, Abortion, Alcohol, Emotional abuse, Forced institutionalization, Mental illness, and Racism
lillimoore's review against another edition
5.0
Five shining stars for this touching portrait of an Indian-American family living in Atlanta and all coming to terms with what their family history and individual experiences within the unit of their family means for them and for their mental well-being. Saumya Dave brings her personal experience as a psychiatrist to the table and the execution of what could have been a monumental task is nearly flawless.
Suhani, Natasha and Anuj are the American children of Indian immigrants Deepak, a psychiatrist like his oldest daughter Suhani, and Bina, a former Bollywood actress with a promising career cut short and a prominent member of her local Desi community in Atlanta, Georgia. The three children have all faced different pressures from different aspects of their parents and surrounding community.
Suhani, a psychiatrist herself in line to become the next Chief of Residency at her hospital because of her meticulous work, expects herself to be perfect because she perceives that everyone around her also has that expectation; she nearly is, but her seemingly perfect new marriage to Zach finds itself teetering from its balance when a former boyfriend returns to her orbit and brings back painful memories. It's not always easy to keep up appearances and live up to expectations when you close yourself off and struggle to be honest even with yourself.
Natasha has always been the wild card in the family. Gregarious and bold, she marches to the beat of her own drum. But that marching sometimes causes damage to others, who see her path to stand-up comedy as questionable and even sometimes destructive. When a series of blows in her life leads her to a crucial outcry for help with her mental health, the whole family must come to grips with their own experiences, especially her mother Bina.
We don't get much information on Anuj and Deepak, but they are still an important element of this family dynamic. Anuj has always been considered the easy-going, "chill" child in the family, but he struggles with internal pressures of his own and goes to school at a distance to become his own person. Deepak may be an excellent psychiatrist, but has he failed to see the mental health challenges within his own family? We also get a chapter from Zach, Suhani's husband, regarding his love for her and frustration with the barrier she implements between them within the marriage. I thought all three chapters were a great addition, but would have enjoyed seeing even more perspective from the men in this story.
But for me, the real star of the show was Bina. I thought getting her perspective in the book made it so much more interesting. So often in family dramas the parents are to blame for everything and their perspective and experience, especially as middle-aged members of the unit, are often overlooked. That was not the case here. I loved Bina so much even though in initial chapters told from the perspective of her children I thought I would not. Her struggles were so real and the pressures put on her by her culture, society, and experience as an immigrant made for such an interesting character. I thought she was an amazingly strong woman and would love to go to one of her coveted Chats Over Chai meetings!
Altogether this was an amazing exploration of family dynamics and their impact on mental health. I think it was such an important topic to choose because of the stigma so many immigrant communities and particularly South Asian communities face in coping with mental health challenges. I felt so wrapped up in this family and their experiences that I almost feel like I could visit them in reality and know them as my own family. It was so well written, and in contrast to many reviewers here I really enjoyed the pop culture references and thought it made this contemporary family drama feel that much more rooted in the present reality. It really reminded me of The Sleepwalker's Guide to Dancing, so if you enjoyed that definitely pick this one up. Can't recommend this enough.
Suhani, Natasha and Anuj are the American children of Indian immigrants Deepak, a psychiatrist like his oldest daughter Suhani, and Bina, a former Bollywood actress with a promising career cut short and a prominent member of her local Desi community in Atlanta, Georgia. The three children have all faced different pressures from different aspects of their parents and surrounding community.
Suhani, a psychiatrist herself in line to become the next Chief of Residency at her hospital because of her meticulous work, expects herself to be perfect because she perceives that everyone around her also has that expectation; she nearly is, but her seemingly perfect new marriage to Zach finds itself teetering from its balance when a former boyfriend returns to her orbit and brings back painful memories. It's not always easy to keep up appearances and live up to expectations when you close yourself off and struggle to be honest even with yourself.
Natasha has always been the wild card in the family. Gregarious and bold, she marches to the beat of her own drum. But that marching sometimes causes damage to others, who see her path to stand-up comedy as questionable and even sometimes destructive. When a series of blows in her life leads her to a crucial outcry for help with her mental health, the whole family must come to grips with their own experiences, especially her mother Bina.
We don't get much information on Anuj and Deepak, but they are still an important element of this family dynamic. Anuj has always been considered the easy-going, "chill" child in the family, but he struggles with internal pressures of his own and goes to school at a distance to become his own person. Deepak may be an excellent psychiatrist, but has he failed to see the mental health challenges within his own family? We also get a chapter from Zach, Suhani's husband, regarding his love for her and frustration with the barrier she implements between them within the marriage. I thought all three chapters were a great addition, but would have enjoyed seeing even more perspective from the men in this story.
But for me, the real star of the show was Bina. I thought getting her perspective in the book made it so much more interesting. So often in family dramas the parents are to blame for everything and their perspective and experience, especially as middle-aged members of the unit, are often overlooked. That was not the case here. I loved Bina so much even though in initial chapters told from the perspective of her children I thought I would not. Her struggles were so real and the pressures put on her by her culture, society, and experience as an immigrant made for such an interesting character. I thought she was an amazingly strong woman and would love to go to one of her coveted Chats Over Chai meetings!
Altogether this was an amazing exploration of family dynamics and their impact on mental health. I think it was such an important topic to choose because of the stigma so many immigrant communities and particularly South Asian communities face in coping with mental health challenges. I felt so wrapped up in this family and their experiences that I almost feel like I could visit them in reality and know them as my own family. It was so well written, and in contrast to many reviewers here I really enjoyed the pop culture references and thought it made this contemporary family drama feel that much more rooted in the present reality. It really reminded me of The Sleepwalker's Guide to Dancing, so if you enjoyed that definitely pick this one up. Can't recommend this enough.
dristi_reads's review against another edition
emotional
funny
hopeful
informative
inspiring
medium-paced
3.0
kathrynnnnnn's review against another edition
5.0
4.5 stars. Near identical themes to Well Behaved Indian Woman and essentially the same book as a result. I do really like that book and similarly liked this. The pacing was perfect until like 80% through where it started to slow which was weird and deducts a half star.
Yeah it's about the experience of being an Indian-American woman, but so many of the issues are shared across cultures that it's super relateable (like almost too close to home and a bit uncomfortable relateable).
Yeah it's about the experience of being an Indian-American woman, but so many of the issues are shared across cultures that it's super relateable (like almost too close to home and a bit uncomfortable relateable).
smalltownbookmom's review against another edition
4.0
I really enjoyed this messy Indian American multigenerational family story featuring the Joshis of Atlanta. Told in alternating perspectives among the three grown Joshi siblings and their parents, we get to know their secrets, fears and struggles as they try to live up to entrenched cultural expectations.
Eldest daughter Sunhani, is following in her father's footsteps but an ex's return brings up secrets from her past and threatens her marriage.
Middle daughter Natasha has had enough with trying to please her family, refusing her childhood boyfriend's proposal of marriage in order to pursue her stand up comedy dreams.
Youngest son Anuj seemingly has a charmed life but being the 'good son' is a burden all its own.
Matriarch, Bina's story was my favorite, where she organizes a chai and chat social for women in her community to discuss the problems that often go unspoken. She even ends up turning into a bit of a social media influencer.
Great on audio narrated by Soneela Nankani and highly recommended for fans of Sonali Dev, Sara Desai, Annika Sharma or Sajni Patel. This book also has excellent mental health rep, focusing on the stigma of seeking therapy or admitting to any kind of mental illness among members of South Asian families, and in particular medical professionals.
CW: depression, toxic masculinity, abortion, suicide, invisible labor, domestic abuse
Eldest daughter Sunhani, is following in her father's footsteps but an ex's return brings up secrets from her past and threatens her marriage.
Middle daughter Natasha has had enough with trying to please her family, refusing her childhood boyfriend's proposal of marriage in order to pursue her stand up comedy dreams.
Youngest son Anuj seemingly has a charmed life but being the 'good son' is a burden all its own.
Matriarch, Bina's story was my favorite, where she organizes a chai and chat social for women in her community to discuss the problems that often go unspoken. She even ends up turning into a bit of a social media influencer.
Great on audio narrated by Soneela Nankani and highly recommended for fans of Sonali Dev, Sara Desai, Annika Sharma or Sajni Patel. This book also has excellent mental health rep, focusing on the stigma of seeking therapy or admitting to any kind of mental illness among members of South Asian families, and in particular medical professionals.
CW: depression, toxic masculinity, abortion, suicide, invisible labor, domestic abuse
dhee_reads's review
5.0
I bookmarked the heck out of this book. It has insights for just about every relationship. It's clear Dave is passionate about psychiatry and mental health. Her writing is effortlessly beautiful--the perfect mix of breezy, and thoughtful. This definitely surpasses WBIW as my clear favorite.
sumeda99's review against another edition
4.0
this book was so relatable! Has someone who comes from a first generation, American family myself, it was so refreshing to read a story about the clash between worldview and experiences of immigrant parents, versus first generation American children in various ways. This book was so important because it explored so many themes families can feel not only intergenerationally, but intragenerationally.
I found myself relating to the older sister, Suhani, a lot. Everything from her career to the name of her partner matched up to my experience, and I found myself rooting for her throughout.
Highly recommended for people from ethnic, immigrant families!
I found myself relating to the older sister, Suhani, a lot. Everything from her career to the name of her partner matched up to my experience, and I found myself rooting for her throughout.
Highly recommended for people from ethnic, immigrant families!