Scan barcode
kat2's review against another edition
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
5.0
I read this in the 80s when it was first published, and reading it again decades later is stunning. Clearly I didn’t absorb its lessons then. Hope I can now! “I believe taking care of ourselves is an art, and this art involves one fundamental idea that is foreign to many: giving ourselves what we need.” (127)
xtie's review against another edition
4.0
As someone who hates the self-help genre, it’s saying alot that I actually found this helpful. To be fair, I skimmed most of it. And it probably didn’t help I was reading the 1st edition with a lot of v dated language. But I genuinely found this book a comfort and it reaffirmed a lot about what I’m learning in therapy. I would recommend it with a caveat from my therapist - especially for anyone who has historically been made responsible for other people (or taken on the mantle themselves!) - he said to take it all with a pinch of salt and take what’s only helpful for you. You are not obliged to read self help books like they are a playbook.
pinkparentheses's review against another edition
challenging
informative
reflective
fast-paced
1.0
I’m reading the 2009 edition. I realize many things have nuance but the difference between addicts and codependents are binary. Addicts can never understand a codependent just as the codependent could never understand the addict. That’s where the issue lies, plain and simple. The author is in no position writing on this topic because she is an addict. Yes, she may be sober but she will always be an addict. The resentment in this book seethes through the pages. The words she uses are victim blaming, fatphobic, white washed, and centered on Christian values. Just as she calls codependents controlling, who is she to tell us who we are? I don’t know if I’m fully codependent, but do have some traits. I’m definitely not an addict. I just don’t get how she can write about a “condition” that’s fully conditional on others behavior and still thinks the codependent has just as much issues as an addict. Maybe in extreme cases and maybe that’s relatable to some, but really the audacity of an addict to tell others how they should react to THEIR unhinged and selfish behavior…It’s makes complete sense, of course she would want to write this book!
wishfulfillment's review against another edition
5.0
I'm still in the middle of reading it, but I can safely say it's one of the most helpful works I've read. I'm a therapist and will recommend this to my clients. I'm not codependent as far as I know, but I could easily find myself in this book. Coming from the backgrounds of substance use, substance use treatment providing, and being in a relationship with someone who used substances, the author seems to understand how to speak to those of us who defy, resist, poke holes in, and wave away most useful advice. This work is her ode to the topic and it feels like she accumulated all of the information she could find about it, condensed it, and translated it for all of us, to save us time and energy. If you only read one chapter, make it the one about emotions (In my edition it's Chapter 13: Feel Your Own Feelings).
From a strictly technical writing perspective: her voice is charming, it feels like she's speaking to us and yet the paragraphs make formal sense with each other, and it's wildly engaging to read.
From a strictly technical writing perspective: her voice is charming, it feels like she's speaking to us and yet the paragraphs make formal sense with each other, and it's wildly engaging to read.
jessielavoieak's review against another edition
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
fast-paced
4.75