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whittaker's review against another edition
challenging
dark
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
5.0
This book is so difficult and yet so captivating that it's hard to truly sum it up. Ultimately, it is hard to love Vanessa in the world of Me Too (and sometimes our own stories) but her story is so important. Her story is the perfect example of how trauma can manifest and whilst I understand the criticism that the story might be romanticising, I don't think it is. It's written from a victim's point of view and so we witness her try and romanticise it - and she references this so much. She is an unreliable narrator but it's the perfect example of how being groomed at a young age can warp your sense of reality - and when we read what Strane does, says, there is no doubt in our mind that he is a pedophile. We witness her go through this trauma and then as an adult come to terms with it - we can see the inconsistencies as she remembers things differently as an adult. She states directly that when he first had sex (well, rape) with her, it was rape at the time - she said no, didn't want it, forced it - she even recalls times he ignored her "no"s or when she was clearly forced into it, even when he would do it when she was asleep. But when she's older she's forgotten this, states it was never rape, she was into it (ignoring statutory rape). It's so clear as a reader that this is the product of being groomed and raped - she's dissociating, has memory blocks and is also trying to convince herself that she wanted it, because if she didn't then she has to come to terms with what happens <\spoilers> Vanessa does things we don't like, but I think it's needed to explore this trauma - how it manifests, how a victim doesn't have to be a "good" victim. We see all the different ways she has been affected by this, and how disgusting it is that she was put through this, continuously held in this loop and failed by everyone.
I don't think this is a book to be read by everyone, and especially not by people who may miss nuance, or who may romanticise it - I'm sure if I was very young when I read this I might've missed the gaslighting and grooming. I also think with the graphic descriptions this book would be incredibly difficult for a grooming or rape victim to read. But that isn't to say that this book hasn't stuck with me, changed me somewhat.
I don't think this is a book to be read by everyone, and especially not by people who may miss nuance, or who may romanticise it - I'm sure if I was very young when I read this I might've missed the gaslighting and grooming. I also think with the graphic descriptions this book would be incredibly difficult for a grooming or rape victim to read. But that isn't to say that this book hasn't stuck with me, changed me somewhat.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Violence, Suicide, Sexual assault, Pedophilia, Panic attacks/disorders, Emotional abuse, Suicidal thoughts, Sexual violence, Sexual harassment, Addiction, Alcohol, Child abuse, Rape, Misogyny, Drug abuse, Mental illness, Injury/Injury detail, and Drug use
Moderate: Death of parent
emilyspex's review against another edition
challenging
dark
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
5.0
This book is difficult for me because of how much I saw myself in Vanessa. I've never experienced the type of trauma that she goes through in the book, but I deeply related to her flaws and insecurities. Because of this, I found her very sympathetic, even when she was making decisions that might not make any sense from an outsider's perspective.
This is a book that will stick with me for a very long time.
This is a book that will stick with me for a very long time.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexual assault, Mental illness, Sexual violence, Adult/minor relationship, Rape, Child abuse, Pedophilia, Toxic relationship, Emotional abuse, and Gaslighting
Moderate: Bullying, Alcohol, Cursing, Suicide, Drug abuse, Drug use, Gore, and Injury/Injury detail
Minor: Fire/Fire injury, Medical content, Death of parent, Chronic illness, and Vomit
owenwilsonbaby's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
reflective
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
4.0
"I need it to be a love story. I need it to be that."
I was thinking about Mysterious Skin whilst I read this novel. Both stand well on their own, but I feel like they are unified as narratives of abuse through their extremely moving and empathetic commentaries on victimhood. Characterisation is complex but never unkind in this book, and for this reason (and perhaps the excellent pacing too) Vanessa's narrative voice is incredibly compelling throughout. I think this works as an interesting inversion of the campus novel, as well as a solidly unique coming of age / arrested development narrative. Please heed the trigger warnings and take plenty of breaks if you choose to read this - I found it hard.
I was thinking about Mysterious Skin whilst I read this novel. Both stand well on their own, but I feel like they are unified as narratives of abuse through their extremely moving and empathetic commentaries on victimhood. Characterisation is complex but never unkind in this book, and for this reason (and perhaps the excellent pacing too) Vanessa's narrative voice is incredibly compelling throughout. I think this works as an interesting inversion of the campus novel, as well as a solidly unique coming of age / arrested development narrative. Please heed the trigger warnings and take plenty of breaks if you choose to read this - I found it hard.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Alcohol, Alcoholism, Animal death, Blood, Body shaming, Child abuse, Cursing, Death of parent, Drug use, Emotional abuse, Gaslighting, Grief, Injury/Injury detail, Mental illness, Pedophilia, Rape, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Stalking, and Suicide
seawarrior's review against another edition
dark
emotional
informative
reflective
sad
tense
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
My Dark Vanessa illustrates a relentless and necessary portrait of a grooming survivor who remains tangled in the web of lies her groomer presented as love, even as she grows into an adult. This book is a bared-teeth, growling response to the lush literary canon that mythologizes young girls, asserting that they have a corruptible power over the adult men who do not see them as anything more than an imprintable sexual fantasy. It was difficult to read this book, and has been even more difficult not to continue pouring over it in my head once I finished it.
Russell's use of language, symbols and respected literary texts is purposeful and horrifying. With each violation made by her teacher I felt genuine fear for Vanessa, yet still understood why she ignored her own worries to please this man who made her feel singled out and special. The complexities of grooming are on full display in this story. Vanessa's abuser's words are strategic and intentional, and Russell ensures that we understand the weight of them on Vanessa's life each time. I appreciated that Vanessa was not a hero. She is a woman whose development as a girl was interrupted by a predator, who is slowly learning to remove the veil of "love story" to understand her predation as it truly happened. She is also a deeply flawed person who is denying herself the growth necessary to build healthier relationships with herself and others. She is vengeful, yet turns her anger to those undeserving while repeatedly acquitting her groomer. She understands she was violated, yet tells herself she wanted this, she is being loved, she is nothing like a true victim, in order to spare herself the pain of admitting her hurt. Her story does not end with a rushed exacting of revenge that would feel insultingly unrealistic. Instead, we leave Vanessa as she is slowly learning to forgive herself and those who tried to help her, and start a life that her predator will never see, never touch and never know.
I would recommend this book only to those prepared to read graphic depictions of underage sexual exploitation. Russell writes these passages for us to simultaneously understand how Vanessa is being taken advantage of and why she feels that she isn't, why she feels responsibility for what a much older man has primed her to tolerate. These scenes are written with a thick disgust instead of titillation, but I understand that they may still be too disturbing for people to expose themselves to.
In conclusion, this is the only novel I've read where I felt genuine, raw grief for the protagonist to the extent that it was difficult to remind myself that her story was fiction. Yet while Vanessa is fictional, there are too many girls in this world who share her story, or who were at risk to be similarly preyed on as they formed their teenage identities around romanticized depictions of underage sexual exploitation. Russel states in her acknowledgements that she thanks "the Los I've met over the years who carry within them similar histories of abuse that looked like love, who see themselves in Dolores Haze. This book was written for nobody but you". Her story has been needed for so long, by so many people, so they may recognize the carnivorous horror of grooming for what it truly is. This is a sickening but triumphant book to experience.
Russell's use of language, symbols and respected literary texts is purposeful and horrifying. With each violation made by her teacher I felt genuine fear for Vanessa, yet still understood why she ignored her own worries to please this man who made her feel singled out and special. The complexities of grooming are on full display in this story. Vanessa's abuser's words are strategic and intentional, and Russell ensures that we understand the weight of them on Vanessa's life each time. I appreciated that Vanessa was not a hero. She is a woman whose development as a girl was interrupted by a predator, who is slowly learning to remove the veil of "love story" to understand her predation as it truly happened. She is also a deeply flawed person who is denying herself the growth necessary to build healthier relationships with herself and others. She is vengeful, yet turns her anger to those undeserving while repeatedly acquitting her groomer. She understands she was violated, yet tells herself she wanted this, she is being loved, she is nothing like a true victim, in order to spare herself the pain of admitting her hurt. Her story does not end with a rushed exacting of revenge that would feel insultingly unrealistic. Instead, we leave Vanessa as she is slowly learning to forgive herself and those who tried to help her, and start a life that her predator will never see, never touch and never know.
I would recommend this book only to those prepared to read graphic depictions of underage sexual exploitation. Russell writes these passages for us to simultaneously understand how Vanessa is being taken advantage of and why she feels that she isn't, why she feels responsibility for what a much older man has primed her to tolerate. These scenes are written with a thick disgust instead of titillation, but I understand that they may still be too disturbing for people to expose themselves to.
In conclusion, this is the only novel I've read where I felt genuine, raw grief for the protagonist to the extent that it was difficult to remind myself that her story was fiction. Yet while Vanessa is fictional, there are too many girls in this world who share her story, or who were at risk to be similarly preyed on as they formed their teenage identities around romanticized depictions of underage sexual exploitation. Russel states in her acknowledgements that she thanks "the Los I've met over the years who carry within them similar histories of abuse that looked like love, who see themselves in Dolores Haze. This book was written for nobody but you". Her story has been needed for so long, by so many people, so they may recognize the carnivorous horror of grooming for what it truly is. This is a sickening but triumphant book to experience.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Child abuse, Gaslighting, Pedophilia, Rape, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, and Toxic relationship
Moderate: Stalking and Animal death
Minor: Injury/Injury detail, Bullying, Death of parent, Fatphobia, Grief, and Medical content
martzi's review against another edition
dark
emotional
sad
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Vomit, Sexual violence, Gaslighting, Fire/Fire injury, Drug use, Child abuse, Alcohol, Violence, Pedophilia, Toxic relationship, Suicide attempt, Suicidal thoughts, Sexual content, Sexual assault, Rape, Injury/Injury detail, Grief, Death of parent, Blood, Suicide, Sexual harassment, Panic attacks/disorders, Mental illness, Fatphobia, Animal death, and Adult/minor relationship
extraordinellyx's review against another edition
emotional
informative
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? N/A
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.25
Content Warnings
Graphic: Gaslighting, Sexual harassment, Sexual content, Toxic relationship, Adult/minor relationship, and Pedophilia
Moderate: Cursing and Violence
Minor: Injury/Injury detail
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