Reviews tagging 'Panic attacks/disorders'

Moja mroczna Vanesso by Kate Elizabeth Russell

103 reviews

camigz's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional sad medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

5.0

En cierto contexto este libro puede ser difícil de atravesar, y tomar cierto tiempo para procesar, aunque muy bien propuesto el cómo aborda e hila los temas. Aprecié mucho este libro para mirar ciertas cosas desde un punto de vista fuera de la realidad personal, ver donde se entrelazan y sostener sobre eso mi opinión con amabilidad. 

---

Content Warnings

Graphic: Physical abuse, Emotional abuse, Sexual violence, Child abuse, Rape, Adult/minor relationship, Gaslighting, and Pedophilia

Moderate: Grief, Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, Abandonment, Homophobia, Misogyny, and Toxic relationship

thegingerpire's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character

4.75

Couldn’t put it down. It was like being repeatedly punched in the gut and I mean that in the best way. 

---

Content Warnings

Graphic: Suicide, Death, Toxic relationship, Misogyny, Rape, Child abuse, Adult/minor relationship, Pedophilia, Sexual content, Sexual assault, Gaslighting, Panic attacks/disorders, Grief, and Emotional abuse

sedgewren's review against another edition

challenging dark slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? No
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.25

Only a truly masterfully written book could make me want to slap and shake the characters so hard to wake them out of their self-delusions, and yet still want to read it to the end. Russell managed to capture what it felt like to be 15 and sexualised, wanting love but not sure what that looks like, thinking you know it all and able to power through more than you can actually handle. It made me understand all the points of failure in a system, try and think what I would have done differently if I were Vanessa's friend, another teacher, or her parent.

I think it was painfully obvious the amount of self-delusion, romanticisation, and naivety that led to Vanessa's mis-interpretation of events, but I'm so glad that her therapist is able to pin them down and communicate with her to get her to see these events as what they really are; I also understand that Vanessa is only able to accept these truths when she is ready (she's been groomed and manipulated so long that she ends up manipulating herself so that she doesn't have to think too hard about anything that doesn't line up with her love story narrative).

---

Content Warnings

Graphic: Gaslighting, Pedophilia, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Child abuse, Drug use, Emotional abuse, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Adult/minor relationship, Alcoholism, and Rape

Moderate: Death of parent, Drug abuse, Panic attacks/disorders, Sexual content, Stalking, Toxic relationship, and Classism

bynniereads's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional reflective sad tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
• Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

5.0

---

Content Warnings

Graphic: Vomit, Sexual content, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Addiction, Panic attacks/disorders, Rape, Sexual harassment, Physical abuse, Alcohol, Child abuse, Death of parent, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Grief, Kidnapping, Misogyny, Sexual assault, Sexism, Trafficking, Self harm, Sexual violence, Stalking, and Toxic relationship

lay_kone's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional reflective sad slow-paced

4.75

---

Content Warnings

Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Sexual assault, Bullying, Child abuse, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Pedophilia, Death of parent, Drug use, Panic attacks/disorders, Toxic relationship, Emotional abuse, Gaslighting, Grief, Physical abuse, Sexual content, Suicide, Rape, and Sexual harassment

Minor: Animal cruelty

nineinchnails's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional reflective sad medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.5

i feel weird reviewing and even rating this book considering the subject matter because even though it's technically fiction it feels horribly invasive, like reading someone's diary. it is very well written with beautiful prose and a protagonist who is extremely real and raw. the book did run a little long, especially considering there was little character development outside of vanessa but overall it was an extremely gripping read.

i would not recommend reading this as a survivor of rape and especially of child sexual abuse, more because of how adamant vanessa is that she was not abused than how graphic the abuse is written. it can be very hard to stomach her constant romanticisation and denial of strane's abuse, despite how obvious it us to us as readers that he manipulated her. 'manipulate' does not feel like anywhere near as strong of a word to portray how he controlled and exploited her.

vanessa is not a 'perfect victim' and she struggles with this well into adulthood; the idea that a woman must be perfectly chaste, perfectly humble, perfectly innocent, and perfectly untouched by the world to be believed or taken seriously as a victim is one that permeates our society to this day. what was she wearing?, she lead him on, she was asking for it, she wanted it. this novel does an incredible job at giving a voice to the many survivors who (unsurprisingly) don't fit that mould and showing a different perspective. 

---

Content Warnings

Graphic: Sexual assault, Toxic relationship, Child abuse, Emotional abuse, Rape, Adult/minor relationship, Panic attacks/disorders, Gaslighting, and Pedophilia

Moderate: Physical abuse, Death, Animal cruelty, Death of parent, Addiction, Alcoholism, Drug use, Infidelity, Stalking, Suicidal thoughts, Bullying, Sexual harassment, Classism, Drug abuse, Grief, Body horror, and Abandonment

Minor: Animal death, Body shaming, Mass/school shootings, and Vomit

Grooming, Dissociation, Post traumatic stress disorder, Child sexual abuse, and Student/teacher relationship

jankengon's review against another edition

dark emotional reflective sad tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

Incredibly haunting and well-written. Could not put it down. This story will stay with me for a long, long time.

---

Content Warnings

Graphic: Gaslighting, Emotional abuse, Toxic relationship, Sexual assault, Rape, Child abuse, Pedophilia, and Adult/minor relationship

Moderate: Mental illness and Grief

Minor: Drug use, Suicide, Panic attacks/disorders, and Alcoholism

alicia_belcourt's review against another edition

dark emotional reflective medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? No
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.75

This book for me was a very slow read. It had taken me forever to finish it once I had started it, due to the fact that I had to keep taking breaks every so often. This book had a very dark plot about a student who is faced with the reality that she was abused by her teacher when she was in high school. 

The concept of the plot alone intrigued me because I have never read anything like this book before, and it quickly continued to intrigue me the more I read. The writing style of this book was beautifully executed in my opinion because I feel that not many authors could so greatly execute a juxtaposition of the mind quite like Kate Elizabeth Russell did. She was constantly building on the idea of the relationship being romantically sought after by the main character, Vanessa. I also really loved reading how she continued to recount the key details that sparked and arose during the abusive relationship. As well as when Vanessa had continued to age and was still in contact with her abuser, I enjoyed the way Kate wrote about how Vanessa felt 'out of her body' because there were times when she described herself walking around or being 'far off' during scenes of the abuse. However there were aspects of the book that made it a bit of a tougher read for me. For example, Vanessa was at times made to be extremely unlikeable, and I mean this in the way that there were times of her recounting the events of abuse where she was constantly in a state of denial, even when presented with substantial 'evidence'. I understood the reasoning for this as I reached the end of the book, but at the moment it was very hard to stay focused in the book when the main character seemed so unlikable.

---

Content Warnings

Graphic: Addiction, Death, Panic attacks/disorders, Rape, Sexual assault, Alcoholism, Death of parent, Cursing, Emotional abuse, Sexual content, Drug use, Sexual harassment, Adult/minor relationship, Child abuse, Drug abuse, Gaslighting, Mental illness, and Physical abuse

ayladdy's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional sad slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Loveable characters? No
• Diverse cast of characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

1.5

---

Content Warnings

Graphic: Panic attacks/disorders, Mental illness, Rape, Child abuse, Physical abuse, Sexual assault, Suicidal thoughts, Toxic relationship, Adult/minor relationship, Gaslighting, Self harm, Stalking, Suicide, Infidelity, Sexual content, Sexual harassment, Bullying, Pedophilia, Sexual violence, Emotional abuse, and Suicide attempt

sierrabedwell's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional hopeful reflective sad tense fast-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? No
• Diverse cast of characters? N/A
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

This book was amazing. It tells a unique and sad story of a girl who is conflicted and broken. As I read it reminded me of Perks of Being a Wallflower and Looking for Alaska. It was melancholic and sad but also hopeful and brought forth a lot of thoughts regarding current society and how we treat victims of abuse, rather than how they need to be treated. 

---

Content Warnings

Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Child abuse, Emotional abuse, Drug use, Mental illness, Sexual violence, Abandonment, Rape, Toxic relationship, Vomit, Panic attacks/disorders, Cursing, Alcohol, Physical abuse, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Suicidal thoughts, Sexual harassment, Grief, Gaslighting, Suicide, and Stalking