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ruthiegk's review against another edition
dark
reflective
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.5
anshika06's review against another edition
dark
emotional
reflective
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
4.0
repobi's review against another edition
4.0
Tertarik baca buku ini karena direkomendasikan sebagai pendamping novel Lolita yang bahas sudut pandang korban. Sepanjang buku, Lolita juga selalu disebut, seakan-akan buku ini tidak bisa berdiri sendiri tanpa adanya Lolita. Ini juga mirip dengan keadaan hidup Vanessa yang tidak bisa lepas dari si guru groomer. Saya sendiri selama baca, selalu banding-bandingkan buku ini dengan Lolita.
Perbedaan paling mencolok adalah nada narator. Humbert di Lolita itu sangat percaya diri, sedangkan Vanessa penuh keraguan. Humbert dan si guru itu membesar-besarkan untuk menyembunyikan hal kecil dalam diri, sedangkan Vanessa mengerdilkan dirinya, dan seterusnya.
Sebagai buku yang berdiri sendiri. My Dark Vanessa itu cerita korban grooming yang terombang-ambing dalam konflik internal diri. Bikin frustrasi sekaligus patah hati.
Perbedaan paling mencolok adalah nada narator. Humbert di Lolita itu sangat percaya diri, sedangkan Vanessa penuh keraguan. Humbert dan si guru itu membesar-besarkan untuk menyembunyikan hal kecil dalam diri, sedangkan Vanessa mengerdilkan dirinya, dan seterusnya.
Sebagai buku yang berdiri sendiri. My Dark Vanessa itu cerita korban grooming yang terombang-ambing dalam konflik internal diri. Bikin frustrasi sekaligus patah hati.
the_reading_vampire's review against another edition
dark
emotional
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? N/A
- Flaws of characters a main focus? N/A
5.0
inezldr's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
sad
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
reeyabeegale's review against another edition
I heard a lot of people talk about this book, how deep and haunting it was. Though I have my inhibitions, I still read it.
In all honesty, my skin was crawling reading about how Strane lured Vanessa, groomed her into becoming his victim even after all those years. I found myself having to take breaks in between chapters to shake it off, until all I could think about was to finish it already so I wouldn’t have to endure and sit through what Vanessa experienced.
It’s not that I don’t like the book, I just realized how scared I am to read books like these — where victims romanticize the abuse they went through, AND NO I AM NOT VICTIM SHAMING nor am I encouraging any kind of abuse, I’m just saying that I can’t stomach reading about a victim who doesn’t see herself/himself as that. It haunts and worries me that there are people out there who are as lost as Vanessa, who have to live and endure the injustices of this world.
I’ve read a lot of stories similar to this, women being abused and being attacked instead of receiving support but I’ve always read it through the eyes of a survivor who has a full grasp of what happened/what he or she experienced in the hands of their abusers. It might be seen as a weakness on my end, but I just can’t do it — I can’t read anymore of Vanessa Wyes and Dolores Hazes. I don’t want anyone else going through any of that, being taken advantage of. I can’t read about their struggle to grasp the reality of their experience, I’d rather much read stories about surviving, the aftermath of speaking up and moving forward — again that feels like a cop out, but yeah. I appreciate these kinds of stories, I think they are important and in the future I might still read these kinds of books but for now I don’t have the courage to do so because my heart breaks too much.
I’m not rating the book because I don’t know how. I am so appalled by Jacob Strane; I pity Vanessa, wishing I could shake her out of the trance Strane’s put her in through her years of abuse. I don’t want to rate the book because I feel that in some way, that would justify Strane’s actions, giving a wrong impression that I am encouraging it; or downplay what Vanessa went through. My mind is out of sorts and I’d probably not have the motivation to go back here and change my review/rating when I have coherent thoughts, so I apologize if this review wasn’t helpful at all.
The writing is good, I’d say it was dragged out longer than I would’ve liked but the plot overall sends a very important message to parents, friends, teachers — people in general. It’s one I’ll never forget.
In all honesty, my skin was crawling reading about how Strane lured Vanessa, groomed her into becoming his victim even after all those years. I found myself having to take breaks in between chapters to shake it off, until all I could think about was to finish it already so I wouldn’t have to endure and sit through what Vanessa experienced.
It’s not that I don’t like the book, I just realized how scared I am to read books like these — where victims romanticize the abuse they went through, AND NO I AM NOT VICTIM SHAMING nor am I encouraging any kind of abuse, I’m just saying that I can’t stomach reading about a victim who doesn’t see herself/himself as that. It haunts and worries me that there are people out there who are as lost as Vanessa, who have to live and endure the injustices of this world.
I’ve read a lot of stories similar to this, women being abused and being attacked instead of receiving support but I’ve always read it through the eyes of a survivor who has a full grasp of what happened/what he or she experienced in the hands of their abusers. It might be seen as a weakness on my end, but I just can’t do it — I can’t read anymore of Vanessa Wyes and Dolores Hazes. I don’t want anyone else going through any of that, being taken advantage of. I can’t read about their struggle to grasp the reality of their experience, I’d rather much read stories about surviving, the aftermath of speaking up and moving forward — again that feels like a cop out, but yeah. I appreciate these kinds of stories, I think they are important and in the future I might still read these kinds of books but for now I don’t have the courage to do so because my heart breaks too much.
I’m not rating the book because I don’t know how. I am so appalled by Jacob Strane; I pity Vanessa, wishing I could shake her out of the trance Strane’s put her in through her years of abuse. I don’t want to rate the book because I feel that in some way, that would justify Strane’s actions, giving a wrong impression that I am encouraging it; or downplay what Vanessa went through. My mind is out of sorts and I’d probably not have the motivation to go back here and change my review/rating when I have coherent thoughts, so I apologize if this review wasn’t helpful at all.
The writing is good, I’d say it was dragged out longer than I would’ve liked but the plot overall sends a very important message to parents, friends, teachers — people in general. It’s one I’ll never forget.
benzodiz's review against another edition
challenging
hopeful
inspiring
sad
medium-paced
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
ranwans's review against another edition
5.0
“He gives it only a soft-mouthed bite, but I would probably let him tear me apart. I’d let him do anything.”
“I still feel torn in two when he pushes inside, will probably always feel this way, but I want it. I have to.”
Tipping my head back, I say, “He was so in love with me, he used to sit in my chair after I left the classroom. He’d put his face down on the table and try to breathe me in.” It’s a detail I’ve trotted out before, always meant as evidence of his uncontrollable love for me, but saying it now, I hear it as she does, as anyone would— deluded and deranged.
“Vanessa,” she says gently, “you didn’t ask for that. You were just trying to go to school.”
This book destroyed me. Being able to rewrite such a dark tale such as Lolita, though through the victim’s eyes, is a difficult thing to do without having it seen as romanticization, yet alas, this book covered every aspect of grooming that others do not see.
The frustration, the disgust, the way your stomach coils at every scene, leaving you to want to skim past every sex scene the same way Vanessa dissociates whenever they are in bed together. You find yourself rooting for Vanessa, yet stir into anger at her longterm denial.
Though, that is exactly what makes the book so likable. The aftereffects of such an event, leaving you so broken and disillusioned of the world around you. The quote in the book, ”The excuses we make for them are outrageous, but they’re nothing compared with the ones we make for ourselves.” Sums it up perfectly. The struggle of depersonalization through out the book is so perfectly represented, it’s sprinkled in to make it so natural, because to Vanessa, it IS.
The sad undeniable truth that through seven ongoing years and more, the shadow of Stane would forever tear her apart and follow her wherever she goes. She wants it to be a romance, the only thing she held onto for so long. Her first love, her first everything, all of those years and what for? She held on not because she wanted to, because she had to.
Being able to put into words how amazing the portrayal is would be scarcely possible if you have not went through the same thing. The attachment, the derealization, the struggle of holding on because of necessity. Many times throughout the book she could have said no, but even when she did her cries would go uncalled; it becomes a routine of giving until she is addicted to giving until she is nothing more. The desire to give all of her to him, not for her own pleasure, but for him, because to her that was her only means of living. It was all she knew.
At first, I was disappointed and shocked with the abruptness of the ending, how the momentum of it had screeched to a stop to no avail of explanation. But that’s the thing, there doesn’t need to be one. It’s the sad reality of a SA victim and that makes the agonizing realism so intriguing. Five stars.
“I still feel torn in two when he pushes inside, will probably always feel this way, but I want it. I have to.”
Tipping my head back, I say, “He was so in love with me, he used to sit in my chair after I left the classroom. He’d put his face down on the table and try to breathe me in.” It’s a detail I’ve trotted out before, always meant as evidence of his uncontrollable love for me, but saying it now, I hear it as she does, as anyone would— deluded and deranged.
“Vanessa,” she says gently, “you didn’t ask for that. You were just trying to go to school.”
This book destroyed me. Being able to rewrite such a dark tale such as Lolita, though through the victim’s eyes, is a difficult thing to do without having it seen as romanticization, yet alas, this book covered every aspect of grooming that others do not see.
The frustration, the disgust, the way your stomach coils at every scene, leaving you to want to skim past every sex scene the same way Vanessa dissociates whenever they are in bed together. You find yourself rooting for Vanessa, yet stir into anger at her longterm denial.
Though, that is exactly what makes the book so likable. The aftereffects of such an event, leaving you so broken and disillusioned of the world around you. The quote in the book, ”The excuses we make for them are outrageous, but they’re nothing compared with the ones we make for ourselves.” Sums it up perfectly. The struggle of depersonalization through out the book is so perfectly represented, it’s sprinkled in to make it so natural, because to Vanessa, it IS.
The sad undeniable truth that through seven ongoing years and more, the shadow of Stane would forever tear her apart and follow her wherever she goes. She wants it to be a romance, the only thing she held onto for so long. Her first love, her first everything, all of those years and what for? She held on not because she wanted to, because she had to.
Being able to put into words how amazing the portrayal is would be scarcely possible if you have not went through the same thing. The attachment, the derealization, the struggle of holding on because of necessity. Many times throughout the book she could have said no, but even when she did her cries would go uncalled; it becomes a routine of giving until she is addicted to giving until she is nothing more. The desire to give all of her to him, not for her own pleasure, but for him, because to her that was her only means of living. It was all she knew.
At first, I was disappointed and shocked with the abruptness of the ending, how the momentum of it had screeched to a stop to no avail of explanation. But that’s the thing, there doesn’t need to be one. It’s the sad reality of a SA victim and that makes the agonizing realism so intriguing. Five stars.
teddytr19's review against another edition
3.0
Definitely accomplished what it set out to do, but fucking disturbing. Massive trigger warning; read warily.