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In a Dark Wood: What Dante Taught Me about Grief, Healing, and the Mysteries of Love by Joseph Luzzi
mollybwell's review against another edition
4.0
Without nostalgia. That summed this up for me. I found great comfort and truth in Luzzi’s grief. Perhaps I anticipated a pedantic use of classic literature to make his grief more noble. I was wrong, instead realizing the true worth in a writer who can experience grief and find solace in literature. A good teacher needs empathy and humility and Joseph Luzzi shares his anguish in contemporary times while sharing his experience in the light of a poem written almost 700 years ago. Human experience hasn’t changed and heartbreak is the same no matter the historic or contemporary timeframe.
heartofoak1's review against another edition
1.0
wow. if you need a lesson on how to dislike a man who became a widower and a father on the same day i'd highly recommend reading this. luzzi's wife was tragically killed in a car accident, she was 8.5 months pregnant, their daughter survived. luzzi couldn't deal with his grief (so he says) so he dumped his infant daughter into his family's care. he went on pursuing his career/obsession with dante alighieri, the divine comedy figures immensely in this memoir.
amadswami's review against another edition
4.0
Interesting and well written without a doubt. As the book went on through his emotional battle, I was more than annoyed by numerous attributes of him as a man and as a human. I understand that the underlying message was meant for me to accord his experience with that of Dante's banishment. What strikes me about anyone who writes autobiographically is that he failed to see what he had going for him. It was all about what he had lost and missed and would no longer be able to experience.
whats_margaret_reading's review against another edition
2.0
I should be nicer about a guy's book that's about grieving for his wife.
But really, the connection to Dante is tenuous at times (anyone from the Dante+Decameron group on Goodreads knows most of what he discusses about The Divine Comedy) and his actions towards his girlfriends (especially the woman that would become his new wife) verged on a little creepy. It's an inconsistent book that doesn't necessarily contain the nuances of other books on grieving like [b:The Year of Magical Thinking|7815|The Year of Magical Thinking|Joan Didion|https://d.gr-assets.com/books/1327878638s/7815.jpg|1659905].
But really, the connection to Dante is tenuous at times (anyone from the Dante+Decameron group on Goodreads knows most of what he discusses about The Divine Comedy) and his actions towards his girlfriends (especially the woman that would become his new wife) verged on a little creepy. It's an inconsistent book that doesn't necessarily contain the nuances of other books on grieving like [b:The Year of Magical Thinking|7815|The Year of Magical Thinking|Joan Didion|https://d.gr-assets.com/books/1327878638s/7815.jpg|1659905].
robinlm's review against another edition
4.0
Unfortunately its too easy to judge a memoir on the choices the narrator makes--we confuse our personal judgements for the quality of the book. While some choices Luzzi made are upsetting, confusing, annoying, etc., this book is really quite good.
Mostly a memoir, Dante's Divine Comedy is referenced frequently and continuously as the author tries to make sense of his grief and his life after his wife dies in a car accident. I kept thinking as I was reading that this is a great example of how patriarchy is harmful to men as well as to women. The women in Luzzi's life (his mother and sisters) kept implying or saying directly that he wasn't capable of caring for his daughter, essentially handicapping him from fulfilling his potential as a single father. Fortunately, towards the end of the book he realizes that he can find love and meaning in caring for his daughter, with or without a wife.
I think it's easy to judge someone harshly for making poor choices while they are neck-deep in grief. I know I made bad decisions when I was grieving for my good friend, and it's that experience that enables me to view his choices for what they are: desperate attempts to find any way to live while your heart bleeds on, unseen by others. I just wish there were more examples of grief for us to engage with, because if I had known that what I was feeling and thinking were, if not normal, common, I might have dealt with myself more kindly.
A quote from the book that I think sums grief up:
“Mine was a different kind of magical thinking: the sense that the world began and ended with my own suffering. My grief became an airtight shell, and contrary to the calm outward appearance I cultivated, my sorrow now defined me. Grief was choking my imagination, leaving me incapable of envisioning a different life.”
Mostly a memoir, Dante's Divine Comedy is referenced frequently and continuously as the author tries to make sense of his grief and his life after his wife dies in a car accident. I kept thinking as I was reading that this is a great example of how patriarchy is harmful to men as well as to women. The women in Luzzi's life (his mother and sisters) kept implying or saying directly that he wasn't capable of caring for his daughter, essentially handicapping him from fulfilling his potential as a single father. Fortunately, towards the end of the book he realizes that he can find love and meaning in caring for his daughter, with or without a wife.
I think it's easy to judge someone harshly for making poor choices while they are neck-deep in grief. I know I made bad decisions when I was grieving for my good friend, and it's that experience that enables me to view his choices for what they are: desperate attempts to find any way to live while your heart bleeds on, unseen by others. I just wish there were more examples of grief for us to engage with, because if I had known that what I was feeling and thinking were, if not normal, common, I might have dealt with myself more kindly.
A quote from the book that I think sums grief up:
“Mine was a different kind of magical thinking: the sense that the world began and ended with my own suffering. My grief became an airtight shell, and contrary to the calm outward appearance I cultivated, my sorrow now defined me. Grief was choking my imagination, leaving me incapable of envisioning a different life.”