Reviews tagging 'Suicidal thoughts'

I fell in love with hope by Lancali

61 reviews

addie_b's review against another edition

challenging emotional hopeful inspiring sad medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
• Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

5.0

This book is about a person named Sam, Sam and their friends who live in the hospital, they all have different illnesses and problems within their lives.  Sam isn't like most people, Sam isn't necessarily a person either. This book made me cry more than five times, it explains the problems all the friends are having while Sam explains their own, and if you relate to certain people in the book it hurts even more. It's hard to explain how much it hurts to read this, you form a connection with the characters  then lose them all in the 410 pages of this book. I really love this book.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Pregnancy, Panic attacks/disorders, Death, Domestic abuse, Child abuse, Abandonment, Blood, Alcohol, Alcoholism, Emotional abuse, Medical content, Medical trauma, Physical abuse, Body shaming, Bullying, Child death, Chronic illness, Eating disorder, Cursing, Death of parent, Homophobia, Mental illness, Suicidal thoughts, Rape, Self harm, Sexual assault, Suicide attempt, Suicide, Terminal illness, and Vomit

hannah_mariee's review against another edition

dark emotional hopeful sad tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Suicide, Self harm, Pregnancy, Mental illness, Injury/Injury detail, Grief, Child abuse, Vomit, Suicide attempt, Eating disorder, Violence, Panic attacks/disorders, Domestic abuse, Blood, Terminal illness, Suicidal thoughts, and Medical content

oceanebooks's review against another edition

adventurous challenging dark emotional hopeful mysterious reflective sad tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.75

Okay, I don't think I can write a lot without spoiling anything so I'll try to keep this review pretty short.
First of all: The cover alone is a piece of art. It's different from the self-published edition but I think they both look really good.
Then, secondly: The language. It was very poetic, and that to an extend that even for me it felt like a bit too much. There were just a few passages where even I thought this metaphor was a bit unneccessary. Keep in mind though, things like that are entirely subjective (just like the whole review itself, lol) and this is Lancali's distinctive narrative style. And once you get used to it you really like it. At least I did.
At the same time I still see the criticism. Scamming through a few other reviews I either found people bawling their eyes out and throwing 5 stars after this book - or they didn't give it more than a 2.5 which, in my opinion is valid, it's people's opinion and it's normal to disagree. Most of them were complaining about how the author romanticizes illnesses (both physical and mental) in her story.
I don't think she does. Yes, one can get that impression because of her language style (see what I wrote before), but with no means does she intend to make something as cruel as pain and disease look that way. 
Especially knowing why she wrote this novel, I see it in a different way. For context: Lancali had a friend, named Sam (like the narrator, so much can I say), who she got to know in hospital when she was ill herself. They wanted to write a book together, but Sam died when she had just finished the first few chapters. So, there's the personal aspect to it that in my opinion doesn't allow anyone to give this book a rating lower than 4. But of course, my point of view.

Now finally - the plot. There isn't much that can't be said without telling too much so I'm only going to say this: Heartbreaking. Gut-wrenching. Makes you furious at the (main) characters. Makes you confused at their actions. You will feel a lot, you will maybe cry a lot (depending on your personality) and also - you just want to jump into the story and cause some miracles to happen so everyone can have their happy ending. Of course they don't, I think I knew that long before I started reading. But still, you want these fictional characters to survive, to live, to be healthy. Of course they won't, that's the whole point of the book. But something inside me broke the moment my two favourite characters died (and also: why did they have to die first??? Just. Not. Fair.).
Lancali, you did a great job in shattering my heart to pieces. Thank you for your service.
This is one of the saddest yet most beautiful books I've ever read. It'll stay in my mind for a long time, just as the characters will. And also: The representation: chef's kiss.
Some very much needed male representation of an eating disorder (and its causes), and also depression and self harm. But also physical illnesses. Besides that, the queer representation went beyond gay or lesbian or bi to pan, non-binary and also fluid. THANK YOU. (keep in mind though, that's not the main focus of the book.)
I think that's it. I'll go and grieve a little more now. (I'm not crying you are!)

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Grief, Mental illness, Suicide, Terminal illness, Self harm, Suicidal thoughts, Bullying, and Eating disorder

Moderate: Death of parent, Medical content, War, Blood, and Domestic abuse

Minor: Panic attacks/disorders, Rape, Homophobia, and Vomit

vagabond_bones's review against another edition

emotional hopeful inspiring medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

5.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Emotional abuse, Suicide attempt, Medical content, Violence, Physical abuse, Child abuse, Child death, Mental illness, Cancer, Death, Death of parent, Domestic abuse, Chronic illness, Eating disorder, Suicidal thoughts, Terminal illness, Grief, Medical trauma, and Suicide

Moderate: Bullying, Suicidal thoughts, Self harm, and Homophobia

Minor: Vomit, Panic attacks/disorders, Rape, and Abortion

notyourvegetable's review against another edition

challenging emotional sad medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? No
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

2.5

 I really don't know what to think of this book. There were parts I liked and a lot of things that gave me the biggest ick. For once, this book didn't feel like it had a planned out plot at all. I was constantly guessing what timeline the chapter I was reading was playing in and what the purpose of the scene was. Some scenes just didn't have any impact on the story at all and even though they were nice to read by themselves I think they could have been deleted. I was also really disturbed by the constant romantic descriptions of mental illness. In general the writing style often seemed immature and wanna be poetic, aiming for every quote to be quotable. The scentences on their own were great. Together as a story, yet a whole novel? It didn't work. 
I did like the characters and the overall message of the book and it definitly made me feel something, but there were just so many things that I feel like needed more editing and time. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Suicidal thoughts, Terminal illness, Mental illness, Eating disorder, Self harm, Suicide, Chronic illness, Panic attacks/disorders, Suicide attempt, Homophobia, Grief, and Death

reiley_61's review against another edition

dark emotional hopeful reflective sad medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.75

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Panic attacks/disorders, Suicide, Death, Eating disorder, Child abuse, Suicidal thoughts, Chronic illness, Mental illness, Self harm, and Terminal illness

bogentusiast's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional hopeful reflective sad slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Death, Eating disorder, and Chronic illness

Moderate: Suicidal thoughts, Terminal illness, Mental illness, Suicide attempt, Self harm, and Suicide

Minor: War and Rape

shalisa's review against another edition

emotional hopeful sad medium-paced

• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes

1.75

Trigger warning for everything under the sun: self harm, eating disorders, illness, death of a parent, suicide, sexual assault, child abuse, rape, homophobia, medical trauma, domestic abuse, cancer, etc  

I could’ve loved this but somebody lied to me. 

Firstly, and if I read this wrong then my mistake but creating fictitious symptoms from very REAL diseases and illnesses is not okay. I’m talking about what I read in the foreword and how things went in the book. I can’t imagine why you wouldn’t just come up with your own illness at that point? It’s safer and less problematic. However, that’s beyond me.

I couldn’t keep the characters straight until the middle of the book. I finally learned their names and how they identified with their illness at the 50% mark. That’s not good but im not saying that’s the author’s fault. 

There’s a quote in here, something like “Her injuries aren’t from her disease. They’re all her own” referring to Hikari who self-harms and is suicidal. I think this is a wildly dangerous statement to make. The assumption that just because she does something to her body means that it is done by her and only her meaning she has all the control. What about the illnesses that accompany it? This was wholly irresponsible writing/storytelling. If I read that wrong then my bad, I have a tendency with this book to mistake something for something else because of the purple prose but damn if I’m right then damn somebody better tell me something. 

Neo’s eating disorder is revealed to have been “faked” but all I’m saying is at some point when does it stop being “fake” and become something that is serious and requires actual medical attention. He was in the hospital, on tubes and whatnot, what he was not doing was faking an illness. I don’t care how beautiful the sentiment sounds in a book that romanticizes these illnesses/diseases. 

 

I can’t deny there were some things beautiful here. There were some beautiful moments and quotes littered through purple prose. I can appreciate that but I also know that that’s not enough. I can’t with good faith give this more than 1 stars because there’s so much dangerous content here. I can’t in good faith be okay with what was said when it came to mental illness and not because I’m a therapist but because as a human being who care and love people with mental disorders…I know that they do not do these things to themselves. I’d never imagine a thing. I hope the next reader knows that. I hope y’all know. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Cancer, Child death, Suicidal thoughts, Death of parent, Domestic abuse, Sexual assault, and Suicide

aviery's review against another edition

emotional funny hopeful sad medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Child abuse, Child death, Death, Grief, and Chronic illness

Moderate: Suicidal thoughts, Self harm, Eating disorder, Injury/Injury detail, Mental illness, Suicide, Suicide attempt, Homophobia, Medical content, and Medical trauma

Minor: Panic attacks/disorders, Rape, and Sexual assault

bafrin's review against another edition

dark sad slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? N/A
• Strong character development? No
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.0

Felt like reading a journal, It is so realistically and beautifully written.

Some of my fav lines:

"I think the worst feeling in the world is telling someone you are in pain,and hearing them say there is no wound"

"Depression, it steals moments that should be yours."

"He looked into Coeur rather than at him"

"I'm just not real in the way you need me to be."

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Suicide attempt, Death, Suicidal thoughts, Eating disorder, Self harm, Chronic illness, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, and Mental illness