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4.57 AVERAGE
4.57 AVERAGE
challenging
informative
reflective
sad
an important and interesting book
Pros:
- definitely challenged my assumptions about domestic violence and femicide - the crime of passion myth and the idea that victims of domestic violence behave in unexplainable ways. the author does a very good and comprehensive job of explaining exactly why victims behave as they do and focuses on them (and protecting them) throughout, not their killers.
- her homicide timeline is very interesting and the clear pattern is as scary as it is useful. the sheer numbers of domestic intimate partner murders are awful, but the timeline she proposes does offer some hope in starting to combat it.
- i've known that the courts aren't a good place for victims and families suffering from domestic abuse, but the author does a great job of explaining it and arguing why change is needed.
- though the writing is plain, it's still obvious how much the author is passionate about helping people and the stories she provides, and the sheer number of them, is painful to read (in a good way).
cons:
- the information was a bit repetitive at times, probably because Monckton smith was very keen to get her viewpoint and research across.
- the writing is also pretty bland and stiff at times (unlike the more compelling style of The Body Keeps the Score), but is informative and gets all the necessary points across. i did feel like some of the impact of the horrible deaths and circumstances the author was describing wasn't given enough emotional punch in the book, but then the author herself might be inured to it from the years she's spent studying it and training herself to look at such stories and statistics in an academic matter. it was clear that she cared very deeply for these victims, but i didn't feel that was imparted very well on the reader.
- i was left still with the question of how a person who identifies that they are controlling might help themselves to end their behaviour patterns and stop the timeline from happening. but i think the author wasn't trying to answer this, just what society and victims can do to get themselves out of there, which is fair enough.
overall, a very worthwhile and disturbing yet powerful book that i think everyone should read, not just women.
Pros:
- definitely challenged my assumptions about domestic violence and femicide - the crime of passion myth and the idea that victims of domestic violence behave in unexplainable ways. the author does a very good and comprehensive job of explaining exactly why victims behave as they do and focuses on them (and protecting them) throughout, not their killers.
- her homicide timeline is very interesting and the clear pattern is as scary as it is useful. the sheer numbers of domestic intimate partner murders are awful, but the timeline she proposes does offer some hope in starting to combat it.
- i've known that the courts aren't a good place for victims and families suffering from domestic abuse, but the author does a great job of explaining it and arguing why change is needed.
- though the writing is plain, it's still obvious how much the author is passionate about helping people and the stories she provides, and the sheer number of them, is painful to read (in a good way).
cons:
- the information was a bit repetitive at times, probably because Monckton smith was very keen to get her viewpoint and research across.
- the writing is also pretty bland and stiff at times (unlike the more compelling style of The Body Keeps the Score), but is informative and gets all the necessary points across. i did feel like some of the impact of the horrible deaths and circumstances the author was describing wasn't given enough emotional punch in the book, but then the author herself might be inured to it from the years she's spent studying it and training herself to look at such stories and statistics in an academic matter. it was clear that she cared very deeply for these victims, but i didn't feel that was imparted very well on the reader.
- i was left still with the question of how a person who identifies that they are controlling might help themselves to end their behaviour patterns and stop the timeline from happening. but i think the author wasn't trying to answer this, just what society and victims can do to get themselves out of there, which is fair enough.
overall, a very worthwhile and disturbing yet powerful book that i think everyone should read, not just women.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Bullying, Death, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Gore, Misogyny, Physical abuse, Rape, Sexism, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Suicide, Torture, Toxic relationship, Violence, Grief, Stalking, Suicide attempt, Murder, Gaslighting, Sexual harassment, Injury/Injury detail
Minor: Alcoholism, Body shaming, Child abuse, Child death, Drug abuse, Drug use, Mental illness, Pedophilia, Forced institutionalization, Death of parent, Pregnancy
none of the descriptions are gratuitous but its still a hard read. heavy focus on stalking, abuse and murder by nature of the book's contents.
challenging
emotional
tense
medium-paced
challenging
informative
sad
medium-paced
I follow Professor Jane Monckton-Smith on Twitter and that is how I learned of her brilliantly conceived Homicide Timeline. I was lucky to be given early access to her forthcoming book "In Control: Dangerous Relationships And How They End In Murder". The book makes for sobering, yet vital, reading. It's one of the most important books I've ever read and I hope it finds a widespread audience. The content is accessible for all, i.e. you don't have to be an academic to read and understand it. The information, research, knowledge and professional experience documented within, coupled with various case studies, has the potential to save lives. Many, many lives. Please read it and buy a copy for someone you care about. Forewarned is forearmed. I cannot overstate the importance of this book and my gratitude to Professor Monckton-Smith for writing it.
challenging
emotional
informative
reflective
sad
fast-paced
challenging
dark
emotional
informative
inspiring
reflective
sad
tense
fast-paced
Content Warnings
Graphic: Bullying, Child abuse, Child death, Death, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Gore, Gun violence, Infidelity, Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, Physical abuse, Rape, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Suicide, Torture, Violence, Stalking, Suicide attempt, Death of parent, Murder, Fire/Fire injury, Gaslighting, Injury/Injury detail
emotional
informative
reflective
slow-paced
emotional
informative
reflective
medium-paced
Shocking exploration of the pattern of behaviour that will inevitably end in the death of a woman (very occasionally a man) at the hands of their partner/husband/boyfriend. If you're concerned about the controlling behaviour of your own partner or the partner of your daughter or other loved one, read this book. The author's expertise and recognition of this distinct pattern of behaviour is now being used by the police to spot cases of coercive control and abuse. The missing piece for me is advice on how to remove yourself or a loved one safely from such a relationship and keep them safe afterwards - not an easy ask.
challenging
informative