Reviews tagging 'Vomit'

Meine dunkle Vanessa: Roman by Kate Elizabeth Russell

194 reviews

corkspork's review against another edition

dark emotional sad

• Strong character development? No
• Loveable characters? No
• Diverse cast of characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

1.25

 Well written for sure. But my rating system is for how I enjoyed the book and that is between "it was OK" (2) and "didn't like it" (1). This was VERY hard to read and I can't help thinking that a victim who is so far deluded into thinking she's not a victim is just legitimizing the arguments of people who think like Vanessa. ‘She gave consent, she knew what she wanted, men are just being vilified for no reason, how terrible for these poor guys’. To me that’s clearly not the author's point, but if someone does think that way and they read this book, I doubt they're going to have a change of heart. 
An acquaintance in public health recently said something along the lines of “if you believe there’s false information out there and you don’t want to propagate it further, don’t repeat it, even to refute it. Don’t give it oxygen.”  And having been in the middle of reading My Dark Vanessa when I heard this I thought “yes, this! Russell is giving so much oxygen to the plight of the abuser and the supposed fault of the victim.” 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Child abuse, Emotional abuse, Pedophilia, Rape, and Gaslighting

Minor: Vomit

zainurb's review against another edition

challenging dark hopeful sad slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? N/A
• Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

4.5

reading this at 14 may be a epochal event for me although I must say it was a great read I love how it dives into refusing the idea you've been groomed which i don't think you see much in the media 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Pedophilia, and Rape

Moderate: Alcoholism and Suicide

Minor: Sexism, Vomit, and Death of parent

alexjamiestaples's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional sad tense fast-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Pedophilia, Rape, Sexual assault, Toxic relationship, Gaslighting, and Sexual harassment

Moderate: Alcoholism, Panic attacks/disorders, Suicide, Violence, Vomit, and Death of parent

Minor: Grief, Mass/school shootings, Lesbophobia, and Alcohol

_pauline's review against another edition

dark emotional sad medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character

4.5

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Child abuse, Rape, and Sexual content

Moderate: Alcoholism, Animal death, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Vomit, Stalking, and Gaslighting

Minor: Drug use and Death of parent

shel_zell's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.75

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Adult/minor relationship

Minor: Suicide and Vomit

schellymelly's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional sad tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.5

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Mental illness, and Pedophilia

Moderate: Addiction, Alcoholism, Bullying, Emotional abuse, Sexual assault, Suicidal thoughts, Gaslighting, and Sexual harassment

Minor: Animal death, Self harm, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Vomit, Mass/school shootings, and Death of parent

cr_valentine's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional sad tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Bullying, Death, Domestic abuse, Drug use, Emotional abuse, Mental illness, Misogyny, Pedophilia, Rape, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Toxic relationship, Vomit, Grief, Stalking, Death of parent, Gaslighting, Alcohol, Sexual harassment, and Classism

Moderate: Addiction, Animal death, Cursing, Drug use, Incest, Terminal illness, Medical content, and Toxic friendship

beanith's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional sad tense slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

4.5

Before I get into anything else, please heed the content warnings for this book. The depictions of rape, grooming, and abuse are extremely graphic and upsetting. I think it can be hard to gauge or quantify how triggering something is because everyone has very different experiences and tolerances, but - as a person who can generally handle frank discussions or accounts of rape - the first rape scene in this book made me feel genuine terror and fear. Please proceed with caution.

I was suspicious of this book for a long time because I had seen readers interpret the work as a 'dark romance'. Now having read the book, I can confirm that there is absolutely nothing romantic here, and suggesting that the author is romanticizing abuse is just wrong.

This book is arduous - that's the first word that came to mind when I completed the first quarter of the story (which is just before

the first rape scene

). It is hard work reading from Vanessa's point of view because she is filled with contradictions that only make sense when you understand the mental landscape of someone who was groomed and abused. Every page, until

Strane's death

, filled me with the heaviest dread. The story has a dual timeline, but it doesn't matter if Strane is physically in a scene or not, if it's the past or the present - the all consuming power he has over Vanessa tints every single event of the novel.

Kate Elizabeth Russell writes so skillfully - there are moments from Vanessa's narration where she is disassociating that are profoundly tragic but the language is beautifully crafted.

"Now I fly out of the house, into the night, through the pines and across the frozen lake where the water moves and moans beneath the ice. He asks me to again say the words. I see myself in earmuffs and white skates, gliding across the surface, followed by a shadow underneath the foot-thick ice -- Strane, swimming along the murky bottom, his screams muted to groans."

I think this book is also very strategically written, especially when it comes to not romanticizing Strane. I have three main points I want to discuss regarding this. Spoilers below!
1.

Strane is never described as attractive in the beginning of the book when he could possibly be interpreted as the object of an innocent crush. Her crush has more to do with the attention he gives her that makes her feel special. And then as he escalates and becomes intimate with her, Vanessa actually notices the opposite; he is old, fat, pathetic, boring, homely. She's repulsed by him at times.

2.

Strane's escalating behavior has him coming across hungrier, more demanding, more off-putting, more bizarre with each encounter. He throws so many things at Vanessa, coerces her into his fantasies without any warning - it is beyond clear how he is using her.

3.

There are times where he is given horror genre treatment - most prominently when Vanessa is spending the night at his house for the first time and she wakes up to find him naked it is a genuine jumpscare. His body is pale and covered in hair. Or, when Strane comes to Vanessa's family home to see her while her parents are at work. He hikes through the woods to get to her house and she screams when she sees him, like he's Michael Myers.

 

I think the author could have ended the book a little bit after the halfway point and it would have been it's own very powerful novella, but the inclusion of the subsequent events show just how huge Strane's impact is on Vanessa's whole life. The 2006/07 chapters are odd, especially as Strane's interest in Vanessa shrinks with each passing day - this should be, and is, a kind of relief, but it creates a vacuum. Not only does it cause her to question herself and her understanding of the world, but when they are together it's like two people on the brink of divorce, just going through the motions and tolerating each other (except, of course, when Strane inevitably gaslights and manipulates her more). It's a very disorienting experience as a reader after baring witness to so much brutal intensity.

Notes on Symbolism/Motifs
1. Dogs: Vanessa says she's "devoted as a dog", Strane is afraid of dogs, Strane has a St. Christopher pendant in his desk (St. Christopher is sometimes depicted with a dog head), the word grooming makes Vanessa think about Strane 'stroking her hair' (like petting a dog)
2. There are times, especially in the beginning, where Strane is literally being obscured and Vanessa can't see him clearly. At class orientation when the glare hides his eyes behind his glasses, at the dance when he's hidden by the shadow of the tree, at his house when he's backlit by the lights from inside.
3. Jacob is a biblical name, but Jacob in the bible is known for being cunning and deceitful. Strane as a last name originates from 'stream', but I took it to be more like strain - "force to make a strenuous or unusually great effort". 

Ultimately I'm glad I read My Dark Vanessa, it's given me so much to analyze and journal about. I'm amazed by how real Vanessa feels and I appreciate the time and dedication that Russel devoted to creating a person I truly recognize. However, I never want to read it again.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Drug use, Pedophilia, Rape, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Gaslighting, and Alcohol

Moderate: Emotional abuse, Suicidal thoughts, Vomit, and Death of parent

bisexualwentworth's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional reflective

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Child abuse, Death, Emotional abuse, Pedophilia, Rape, Sexual assault, Suicide, and Toxic relationship

Moderate: Animal death, Drug abuse, Drug use, Misogyny, Suicidal thoughts, Vomit, Grief, Stalking, Death of parent, and Alcohol

nicoleanthony's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional reflective sad tense fast-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Child abuse, Emotional abuse, Pedophilia, Rape, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Suicide, and Vomit