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booksndboba's review
funny
lighthearted
relaxing
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Plot
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
2.5
Content Warnings
Minor: Infidelity, Injury/Injury detail, Vomit, Alcohol, Blood, Pregnancy, Sexual assault, and Death of parent
elliott_the_clementine's review against another edition
funny
hopeful
lighthearted
reflective
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.0
Please be aware that there are mentions of homophobia, racism, and sexual assault in this review.
“An imperfect book - yet perfect for
me.” That was my original response to a book that I’ve consistently loved since I first picked it up in high school. On my most recent reread, I rated it 4.75 stars; I loved Josh and Hazel, and I related to them both. The friends-to-lovers trope as portrayed in Josh and Hazels Guide to Not Dating is truly comforting to read. However, the seeming lack of cultural awareness throughout the book turns what would be a paradise into an unsafe space.
First, the upsetting and frankly unnecessary use of a homophobic slur strikes me more painfully on each reread, especially as it is inscribed in a book and in a circumstance where the use of a slur would not resist the oppression of queer people, does not represent reclamation (though to some the usage of the word may still be upsetting in this context), and does not appear to be thoughtfully done due to the lack of trigger warning.
Second, the repeated inability of the heroine, a white American woman, to correctly pronounce (or to even learn to correctly pronounce?!) the name of the love interest, a Korean-American man, is unbelievably frustrating. It is not just that someone who loves another person would take the time to learn how to say their name (which is true). It is that everyone ought to learn to say others’ names correctly. It is basic decency to learn how to say someone’s name. Not doing so contributes to oppressive systems (particularly racism and transphobia in the United States). It is also quite simply very unkind; when someone messes up your name, does not apologize, and does not work to learn, it seems that they do not care enough to see a huge part of your identity and of who you are. Josh deserves better.
Also, Josh is harassed and groped without his consent by a date near the middle of the book and it’s treated like a joke. That’s assault. Not funny.
Despite having so much potential and great writing, this novel is bogged down by insensitivity that could have been easily rectified.
Updated 01.02.2024.
“An imperfect book - yet perfect for
me.” That was my original response to a book that I’ve consistently loved since I first picked it up in high school. On my most recent reread, I rated it 4.75 stars; I loved Josh and Hazel, and I related to them both. The friends-to-lovers trope as portrayed in Josh and Hazels Guide to Not Dating is truly comforting to read. However, the seeming lack of cultural awareness throughout the book turns what would be a paradise into an unsafe space.
First, the upsetting and frankly unnecessary use of a homophobic slur strikes me more painfully on each reread, especially as it is inscribed in a book and in a circumstance where the use of a slur would not resist the oppression of queer people, does not represent reclamation (though to some the usage of the word may still be upsetting in this context), and does not appear to be thoughtfully done due to the lack of trigger warning.
Second, the repeated inability of the heroine, a white American woman, to correctly pronounce (or to even learn to correctly pronounce?!) the name of the love interest, a Korean-American man, is unbelievably frustrating. It is not just that someone who loves another person would take the time to learn how to say their name (which is true). It is that everyone ought to learn to say others’ names correctly. It is basic decency to learn how to say someone’s name. Not doing so contributes to oppressive systems (particularly racism and transphobia in the United States). It is also quite simply very unkind; when someone messes up your name, does not apologize, and does not work to learn, it seems that they do not care enough to see a huge part of your identity and of who you are. Josh deserves better.
Despite having so much potential and great writing, this novel is bogged down by insensitivity that could have been easily rectified.
Updated 01.02.2024.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexual assault and Death of parent
Moderate: Racism and Homophobia
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