Reviews with content warning for Hate crime - Recuerda aquella vez

“It’s okay how some stories leave off without an ending. Life doesn’t always deliver the one you would expect.”

“I’m more happy than not. Don’t forget me.”

“Happiness shouldn’t be this hard.”

This book was a complete roller coaster. One of my students recommended it so, of course, I had to follow through and let them know how I felt about it. I'll be real, I thought I was going to get an angsty teen novel, and it was that, but it was also so much more than that. It was fast-paced and angsty, like I said, but it also included so much more about relationships and trauma. So definite trigger warnings for suicide (attempted and successful), emotional abuse, grief, death of a parent, hate crimes and medical trauma. There are probably more that I'm forgetting but those are just the rapid fire ones I could think of off the top of my head. I enjoyed the time I spent with this book and I am definitely going to give Adam Silvera's other work a try. This was his debut novel and, again, it was good, it just felt a little lacking to me. There were times when the writing felt a little clunky and awkward. There were some points where I feel like it dragged on just a bit too much because of all the different elements. But for a debut, it's pretty solid. I may even put my copy in my classroom for my other students to enjoy.

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maryy_r0se's review against another edition

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dark emotional hopeful reflective sad tense medium-paced

"Memories: some can be sucker punching, others carry you forward; some stay with you forever, others you forget on your own. You can't really know which ones you'll survive if you don't stay on the battlefield, bad times shooting at you like bullets. But if you're lucky, you'll have plenty of good times to shield you."

**note: I read this as part of an ongoing project to read and critique young adult books that include themes of mental illness**

High schooler Aaron Soto is on the path to recovering from his father's suicide and his own suicide attempt. With Gen, his free-spirited and loving girlfriend at his side, he is ready to move forward, even when the pain feels overwhelming. His progress gets derailed when he befriends Thomas, a quirky kid with a love of movies and no real direction in life. Aaron feels connected to Thomas in a confusing way that seems to transcend friendship. Add to that his community's mounting tension over the Leteo Institute, a controversial medical practice that claims to suppress distressing memories, and Aaron begins to find himself in a freefall that may very well be his undoing.

There is a lot to like about this book. I don't regularly read young adult novels, so it took me a while to adjust to the writing style. However, Silvera achieves at writing a main character who is deeply flawed and yet the reader can still root for. The pacing was inconsistent at parts, and I wasn't sure how I felt about it in the first half, but the second half really picked up for me.

I found myself genuinely shocked at the plot twist.

The comparisons to Eternal Sunshine are certainly warranted, and at times I did wonder if it felt close enough to the movie to dull my enjoyment of the book; it is not a rip off by any means, but didn't fully grip my attention because of the occasional inkling of "haven't I heard this before?" I kept waiting for Thomas, the book's resident movie buff, to bring up the Eternal Sunshine connection. That said, I have very little experience with sci fi content, and perhaps if I did I would simply see this as a common enough trope that it wouldn't stand out.

I read the version with the altered ending, and while I think I personally would have appreciated the original ending a tad more, considering it is a teen book I think adding the extra chapter was the right move. I was left with a major question at the end:

was the Jordan that Aaron met in group therapy somehow supposed to be the same Jordan that shot and killed Kenneth? It could have just been a different character with the same name, but it seemed a bit odd that Silvera would have two characters with the same name and no explanation. Group Therapy Jordan also mentioned his sister at least twice, which seemed relevant because Other Jordan killed Kenneth because of his sister. And while Group Therapy Jordan's backstory didn't align with Other Jordan's, both Group Therapy Jordan and Aaron had been given the Leteo procedure so maybe their memories were still corrupt in some way? But in that case, wouldn't someone like Eric or Gen have recognized Jordan when he came to the birthday party? I kept waiting for another twist or at least some sort of explanation, but it never came. This was especially confusing to me because the author went out of his way when explaining the two Daves and the two Aarons.

I read this book to screen it for a library booklist I am making regarding teen mental health books, and I have decided to approve it for the list. Despite some flaws, I think it shows a nuanced perspective on familial suicide and mental health, while also providing representation to often unrepresented groups.

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mschills's review against another edition

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dark emotional inspiring reflective sad fast-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? No
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.5

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19becky97's review against another edition

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challenging dark emotional inspiring reflective sad tense medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? No
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.5

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hyac1nthgirl's review against another edition

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emotional reflective sad medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

5.0

this book WRECKED me. like WRECKED. when the twist happened, i literally had to set the book down to process what that meant. processing pain & trying to heal is what this book is all about, & as someone who has had their fair share of guilt & grief, this touched me in a way i didn't expect. im not sure exactly what is holding me back from giving a full 5 stars, maybe I'll find it later. but i loved everything about this book, including the tiniest of details like the smiley/sad faces that separated sections & how they always matched the content & how aaron was feeling at that point. a beautiful debut from an author that i NEED to read more from.
EDIT: upping this to 5 stars bc i literally can't stop thinking about this book MONTHS later.

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