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cool_new_jacket's review
hopeful
informative
inspiring
medium-paced
4.0
Content Warnings
Moderate: Emotional abuse
itszosia's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
5.0
Content Warnings
Moderate: Sexism and Misogyny
Minor: Physical abuse, Domestic abuse, Child abuse, Emotional abuse, and Drug abuse
gracescanlon's review against another edition
hopeful
reflective
medium-paced
3.0
If the first time I read this book was when I was 15 years old, it would’ve profoundly influenced my beliefs about life and love. TL;DR at the bottom.
I agreed with some of the ideas hooks presented. However, I found also that multiple ideas in this book were either gross oversimplifications — ironic in a book centered on a topic as complex as love — or entirely incorrect. These flawed ideas, especially given the contexts in which they were discussed, could be dangerous to a person’s wellbeing.
Also, as a woman no longer in her mid-teen years but her mid-twenties, I found hooks’ arguments superficial. They were more like statements than arguments. This frustrated me, because I would have appreciated any explanation as to the development of these claims. I would’ve appreciated a specific supporting example, whether from hooks’ own life and experience or another’s, or even a detailed hypothetical situation, even more.
TL;DR - I found All About Love to be a vague and superficial commentary about one of the most complex concepts that has puzzled humans throughout our history. Some of the ideas hooks presented were oversimplifications and/or incorrect, which I believe to be counterintuitive to her intention when she set out to write this book.
I agreed with some of the ideas hooks presented. However, I found also that multiple ideas in this book were either gross oversimplifications — ironic in a book centered on a topic as complex as love — or entirely incorrect. These flawed ideas, especially given the contexts in which they were discussed, could be dangerous to a person’s wellbeing.
Also, as a woman no longer in her mid-teen years but her mid-twenties, I found hooks’ arguments superficial. They were more like statements than arguments. This frustrated me, because I would have appreciated any explanation as to the development of these claims. I would’ve appreciated a specific supporting example, whether from hooks’ own life and experience or another’s, or even a detailed hypothetical situation, even more.
TL;DR - I found All About Love to be a vague and superficial commentary about one of the most complex concepts that has puzzled humans throughout our history. Some of the ideas hooks presented were oversimplifications and/or incorrect, which I believe to be counterintuitive to her intention when she set out to write this book.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Physical abuse, and Child abuse
keeganrb's review
informative
reflective
medium-paced
3.5
Content Warnings
Graphic: Misogyny, Sexism, and Domestic abuse
Moderate: Toxic relationship, Child abuse, and Grief
Minor: Emotional abuse, Suicidal thoughts, and Addiction
unsuccessfulbookclub's review
emotional
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
fast-paced
5.0
Transformative.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Sexism, Misogyny, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Violence, and Racism
Minor: Suicidal thoughts
cuartolimon's review
emotional
informative
inspiring
medium-paced
4.0
Content Warnings
Minor: Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, and Violence
sommer22's review against another edition
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
4.75
this is a deeply insightful book that greatly changed my perception of Love. even as an agnostic, the idea of love as a spiritual practice is greatly moving and motivating, and i feel that everyone would do well to incorporate at least parts of that idea into their lives. the one drawback of this book that i can think of is that it's very of-its-time; written more than twenty years ago, hooks still uses mostly gendered language and frames romantic relationships in a mostly heteronormative way. she does exemplify her sister, who is a lesbian, but this is an exception. however, the ideas in this book are applicable to all relationships between people, and remain salient över twenty years after this book was published.
Content Warnings
Minor: Domestic abuse, Suicidal thoughts, Emotional abuse, and Racism
jayisreading's review
reflective
slow-paced
2.25
I’m a bit surprised that I ended up not enjoying All About Love as much as I thought I would. I greatly admire bell hooks and the knowledge she has shared with the world (Teaching to Transgress is one that I found quite impactful). I entered All About Love to learn about… well, love. I suppose I did, but I didn’t anticipate it to be as spiritually guided as it ended up being. Not that this is a bad thing, but there was almost a New Age quality to this book that made me roll my eyes a little.
More than that, though, I was shocked that despite the incredible focus on the ways in which issues such as misogyny, sexism, and capitalism stop us from truly loving one another, hooks’ ideas did not apply to everyone. For example, her comment on Monica Lewinsky (called a “young woman”) as “greedy” took me by surprise. What happened to respect, which she emphasized was a necessary part of love? I also took issue with hooks’ insistence that queer people should find ways to stay in touch with toxic family members. This isn’t a possibility for many members of the queer community, especially if they want to put their happiness and well-being at the forefront, which are important because they lead to the finding of a deep sense of love that they weren’t given before.
I want to step away from the criticisms to at least highlight things I appreciated about this book, though. For one, I truly appreciated that hooks challenged the idea of love being exclusive to romance. I was most taken to her points on how we can learn from platonic love and community building to deepen other forms of love. I also liked that she showed love to be a multifaceted thing, that it is comprised of care, respect, responsibility, commitment, among other traits that displays the complexity of loving.
All things considered, writing about love is a huge undertaking, especially to break it down the way hooks did. However, I think this book is of its time (first published in 1999) in its language and understanding of the world. If there’s anything I’ve come to realize while making my way through this book, it’s that love is ever-changing and difficult to explain given everything that’s happening in the world every day. hooks tried, and I think there were some valuable points to take away from this book, but it didn’t make the impact I was hoping it would.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Misogyny and Sexism
Moderate: Grief, Toxic relationship, Child abuse, and Domestic abuse
Minor: Addiction, Cancer, Death, and Emotional abuse
corneliusmcstrawberry's review against another edition
hopeful
informative
reflective
medium-paced
3.75
this book is a bit self-help-y but it’s not that bad. previous reviews have noted that bell hooks shames monica lewinsky, and she does, which seemed anti-feminist and insensitive. aside from that, there were moments that really stuck w me and applied to my own life. survivors of abuse may find this book insightful, comforting, and eye-opening, and i’d recommend it to them. there were some points where i found myself skimming on autopilot - reading a 200 page book solely about love becomes a bit monotonous after a while and so i had to take breaks. but bell hooks’ writing style is clear and direct, and as i alluded to earlier, she makes a lot of great points about how love and abuse cannot coexist even though our culture begs to differ in many ways. i’ve seen this book quoted and recommended online a lot, which is why i read it, and indeed it is chock-full of inspiring and thoughtful quotes about love. overall, i liked it. this is not the first of bell hooks’ works that i have read - i read an article of hers titled ‘women at work’ and i do believe that she deserves the praise she gets for her writings about patriarchy (which, naturally, are prominent in ‘all about love’ too).
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexism and Misogyny
Moderate: Racism, Child abuse, Domestic abuse, Drug abuse, Grief, Physical abuse, Emotional abuse, and Toxic relationship
Minor: Addiction, Cancer, Suicidal thoughts, Terminal illness, and Death
rieviolet's review against another edition
challenging
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
2.5
I have to say I have mixed feelings about this book. I came into it with maybe too high expectations but at times I really struggled to pick the book up again and keep on reading. In the end, I feel a bit "meh" about it.
On one hand, I really enjoyed some of the author's reflections, for example on the devaluation of friendships in favour of romantic bonds (although I think it was not developed much and a good portion of the book then focused mostly on romantic love) and on the negative effects of patriarchy.
And I really appreciated the definition of love that hooks included in the book: "the will to extend one’s self for the purpose of nurturing one’s own or another’s spiritual growth".
On the other, some reflections did not resonate with me just as much and I struggled to really absorb them, maybe I needed some more in-depth analysis/comment in certain chapters, rather than just vague and general statements.
Some other aspects of the book also left me a bit unconvinced , such as: a framework very much heteronormative and binarist in terms of gender; the sections on work and love; the section critizing Monica Lewinsky (a very uncomfortable passage to read that I could have done without); the reflections about forgiveness (especially when in relation to queer people, thank you but I'm going to stay very far away from bigoted and hurtful people if I am able to do so, even if they are family members).
Also some parts of the book just are not for me personally. Whenever religion, biblical scriptures, angels etc. get mentioned I turn into that Mike Wazowski's meme, "Put that thing back where it came from or so help me!". But that is obviously on me and people who are religious and /or spiritual will certainly connect more with those parts.
On one hand, I really enjoyed some of the author's reflections, for example on the devaluation of friendships in favour of romantic bonds (although I think it was not developed much and a good portion of the book then focused mostly on romantic love) and on the negative effects of patriarchy.
And I really appreciated the definition of love that hooks included in the book: "the will to extend one’s self for the purpose of nurturing one’s own or another’s spiritual growth".
On the other, some reflections did not resonate with me just as much and I struggled to really absorb them, maybe I needed some more in-depth analysis/comment in certain chapters, rather than just vague and general statements.
Some other aspects of the book also left me a bit unconvinced , such as: a framework very much heteronormative and binarist in terms of gender; the sections on work and love; the section critizing Monica Lewinsky (a very uncomfortable passage to read that I could have done without); the reflections about forgiveness (especially when in relation to queer people, thank you but I'm going to stay very far away from bigoted and hurtful people if I am able to do so, even if they are family members).
Also some parts of the book just are not for me personally. Whenever religion, biblical scriptures, angels etc. get mentioned I turn into that Mike Wazowski's meme, "Put that thing back where it came from or so help me!". But that is obviously on me and people who are religious and /or spiritual will certainly connect more with those parts.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Emotional abuse, Toxic relationship, Sexism, and Domestic abuse
Moderate: Death, Physical abuse, Lesbophobia, Child abuse, and Grief
Minor: Cancer, Addiction, and Suicidal thoughts