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kaiulanilee's review
challenging
emotional
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
4.0
Content Warnings
Minor: Alcohol, Physical abuse, Death, Drug abuse, Misogyny, Suicidal thoughts, Addiction, Child abuse, Sexual violence, Domestic abuse, Racism, Toxic relationship, Alcoholism, Drug use, Emotional abuse, Grief, and Sexism
bookfriend8's review
inspiring
reflective
fast-paced
4.25
an excellent book on how we can practice love to improve interpersonal relationships and society as a whole. many things could be resolved if people learned how to truly love themselves and others. i particularly enjoyed this work by hooks because it doesn't only reflect on romantic love, but also on general feelings of compassion and mutual respect, which she argues are lacking in the capitalist, divisive world we live in. the book had christian undertones, though; as a non-christian certain parts lost me a bit (especially the final chapter)
Content Warnings
Moderate: Toxic relationship, Sexism, Child abuse, Emotional abuse, and Racism
Minor: Grief, Addiction, and Death
cosmic_blooms's review against another edition
challenging
reflective
medium-paced
4.5
Content Warnings
Graphic: Domestic abuse, Misogyny, Sexism, and Child abuse
Moderate: Addiction, Death, Grief, Toxic relationship, Suicidal thoughts, and Physical abuse
Minor: Sexual content and Body shaming
vixenreader's review
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
sad
medium-paced
4.25
The themes are familiar (especially when compared to the years 2000 and 2023), but its perspective on finding love in a society that continues to promote lovelessness is still relevant.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Domestic abuse, Abandonment, Emotional abuse, Child abuse, Toxic relationship, Death, and Sexism
Moderate: Alcoholism, Physical abuse, Addiction, Hate crime, Religious bigotry, Drug use, Fatphobia, Classism, Injury/Injury detail, Alcohol, Homophobia, and Racism
Minor: Mental illness, Violence, Hate crime, Injury/Injury detail, Suicidal thoughts, and Toxic friendship
Discussions of isolation, homelessness, the negative affects of the mass media, and hopelessness are featured.sderi's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
5.0
Content Warnings
Moderate: Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Misogyny, Racism, Mental illness, Religious bigotry, Colonisation, Abandonment, Chronic illness, Death, Gaslighting, Grief, Infidelity, Sexism, and Toxic relationship
savvylit's review
emotional
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
4.5
This book begins with hooks stating that historically, discussing love has always been viewed as something to ridicule - since it is seen as something that only women do. Right away, she dissuades readers of that notion. hooks establishes that love being seen as unserious and only a feminine concern is both false and a reflection of the greater patriarchal and sexist culture of the U.S. She states that love is such an essential part of life that it only makes sense that it be discussed and evaluated just as logically as any other topic. (On a personal note, I really appreciate that the book began this way because it helped me realize that I have some internalized misogyny when it comes to discussing love. I have generally tried to avoid saying anything that I deem "too sappy" probably because I always want to be taken seriously.)
After firmly establishing her feminist thesis, hooks delves into types of love and how to approach love in a thoughtful and considerate manner. She emphasizes the importance of intentional and empathetic knowing in any relationship. Though the mass media often represents love as a magical mystery, this idea is damaging and promotes miscommunication. "Being aware enables us to critically examine our actions to see what is needed so that we can give care, be responsible, show respect, and indicate a willingness to learn."
Later in the book, hooks also discusses the myth of the nuclear family and focuses on the importance of communal care. Despite what has been established as the norm, families can be based on so much more than just two married partners. hooks uses historical precedent to reveal to readers the ways in which extended family and community are necessary and often better models of love for children than a parent.
This review has barely scratched the surface of why all about love is such a fascinating and important work. If you enjoy cultural criticism and sociology, this book is an absolute must-read.
After firmly establishing her feminist thesis, hooks delves into types of love and how to approach love in a thoughtful and considerate manner. She emphasizes the importance of intentional and empathetic knowing in any relationship. Though the mass media often represents love as a magical mystery, this idea is damaging and promotes miscommunication. "Being aware enables us to critically examine our actions to see what is needed so that we can give care, be responsible, show respect, and indicate a willingness to learn."
Later in the book, hooks also discusses the myth of the nuclear family and focuses on the importance of communal care. Despite what has been established as the norm, families can be based on so much more than just two married partners. hooks uses historical precedent to reveal to readers the ways in which extended family and community are necessary and often better models of love for children than a parent.
This review has barely scratched the surface of why all about love is such a fascinating and important work. If you enjoy cultural criticism and sociology, this book is an absolute must-read.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Misogyny and Toxic relationship
Moderate: Domestic abuse
keeganrb's review
informative
reflective
medium-paced
3.5
Content Warnings
Graphic: Misogyny, Sexism, and Domestic abuse
Moderate: Toxic relationship, Child abuse, and Grief
Minor: Emotional abuse, Suicidal thoughts, and Addiction
jayisreading's review
reflective
slow-paced
2.25
I’m a bit surprised that I ended up not enjoying All About Love as much as I thought I would. I greatly admire bell hooks and the knowledge she has shared with the world (Teaching to Transgress is one that I found quite impactful). I entered All About Love to learn about… well, love. I suppose I did, but I didn’t anticipate it to be as spiritually guided as it ended up being. Not that this is a bad thing, but there was almost a New Age quality to this book that made me roll my eyes a little.
More than that, though, I was shocked that despite the incredible focus on the ways in which issues such as misogyny, sexism, and capitalism stop us from truly loving one another, hooks’ ideas did not apply to everyone. For example, her comment on Monica Lewinsky (called a “young woman”) as “greedy” took me by surprise. What happened to respect, which she emphasized was a necessary part of love? I also took issue with hooks’ insistence that queer people should find ways to stay in touch with toxic family members. This isn’t a possibility for many members of the queer community, especially if they want to put their happiness and well-being at the forefront, which are important because they lead to the finding of a deep sense of love that they weren’t given before.
I want to step away from the criticisms to at least highlight things I appreciated about this book, though. For one, I truly appreciated that hooks challenged the idea of love being exclusive to romance. I was most taken to her points on how we can learn from platonic love and community building to deepen other forms of love. I also liked that she showed love to be a multifaceted thing, that it is comprised of care, respect, responsibility, commitment, among other traits that displays the complexity of loving.
All things considered, writing about love is a huge undertaking, especially to break it down the way hooks did. However, I think this book is of its time (first published in 1999) in its language and understanding of the world. If there’s anything I’ve come to realize while making my way through this book, it’s that love is ever-changing and difficult to explain given everything that’s happening in the world every day. hooks tried, and I think there were some valuable points to take away from this book, but it didn’t make the impact I was hoping it would.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Misogyny and Sexism
Moderate: Grief, Toxic relationship, Child abuse, and Domestic abuse
Minor: Addiction, Cancer, Death, and Emotional abuse
corneliusmcstrawberry's review against another edition
hopeful
informative
reflective
medium-paced
3.75
this book is a bit self-help-y but it’s not that bad. previous reviews have noted that bell hooks shames monica lewinsky, and she does, which seemed anti-feminist and insensitive. aside from that, there were moments that really stuck w me and applied to my own life. survivors of abuse may find this book insightful, comforting, and eye-opening, and i’d recommend it to them. there were some points where i found myself skimming on autopilot - reading a 200 page book solely about love becomes a bit monotonous after a while and so i had to take breaks. but bell hooks’ writing style is clear and direct, and as i alluded to earlier, she makes a lot of great points about how love and abuse cannot coexist even though our culture begs to differ in many ways. i’ve seen this book quoted and recommended online a lot, which is why i read it, and indeed it is chock-full of inspiring and thoughtful quotes about love. overall, i liked it. this is not the first of bell hooks’ works that i have read - i read an article of hers titled ‘women at work’ and i do believe that she deserves the praise she gets for her writings about patriarchy (which, naturally, are prominent in ‘all about love’ too).
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexism and Misogyny
Moderate: Racism, Child abuse, Domestic abuse, Drug abuse, Grief, Physical abuse, Emotional abuse, and Toxic relationship
Minor: Addiction, Cancer, Suicidal thoughts, Terminal illness, and Death
rieviolet's review against another edition
challenging
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
2.5
I have to say I have mixed feelings about this book. I came into it with maybe too high expectations but at times I really struggled to pick the book up again and keep on reading. In the end, I feel a bit "meh" about it.
On one hand, I really enjoyed some of the author's reflections, for example on the devaluation of friendships in favour of romantic bonds (although I think it was not developed much and a good portion of the book then focused mostly on romantic love) and on the negative effects of patriarchy.
And I really appreciated the definition of love that hooks included in the book: "the will to extend one’s self for the purpose of nurturing one’s own or another’s spiritual growth".
On the other, some reflections did not resonate with me just as much and I struggled to really absorb them, maybe I needed some more in-depth analysis/comment in certain chapters, rather than just vague and general statements.
Some other aspects of the book also left me a bit unconvinced , such as: a framework very much heteronormative and binarist in terms of gender; the sections on work and love; the section critizing Monica Lewinsky (a very uncomfortable passage to read that I could have done without); the reflections about forgiveness (especially when in relation to queer people, thank you but I'm going to stay very far away from bigoted and hurtful people if I am able to do so, even if they are family members).
Also some parts of the book just are not for me personally. Whenever religion, biblical scriptures, angels etc. get mentioned I turn into that Mike Wazowski's meme, "Put that thing back where it came from or so help me!". But that is obviously on me and people who are religious and /or spiritual will certainly connect more with those parts.
On one hand, I really enjoyed some of the author's reflections, for example on the devaluation of friendships in favour of romantic bonds (although I think it was not developed much and a good portion of the book then focused mostly on romantic love) and on the negative effects of patriarchy.
And I really appreciated the definition of love that hooks included in the book: "the will to extend one’s self for the purpose of nurturing one’s own or another’s spiritual growth".
On the other, some reflections did not resonate with me just as much and I struggled to really absorb them, maybe I needed some more in-depth analysis/comment in certain chapters, rather than just vague and general statements.
Some other aspects of the book also left me a bit unconvinced , such as: a framework very much heteronormative and binarist in terms of gender; the sections on work and love; the section critizing Monica Lewinsky (a very uncomfortable passage to read that I could have done without); the reflections about forgiveness (especially when in relation to queer people, thank you but I'm going to stay very far away from bigoted and hurtful people if I am able to do so, even if they are family members).
Also some parts of the book just are not for me personally. Whenever religion, biblical scriptures, angels etc. get mentioned I turn into that Mike Wazowski's meme, "Put that thing back where it came from or so help me!". But that is obviously on me and people who are religious and /or spiritual will certainly connect more with those parts.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Emotional abuse, Toxic relationship, Sexism, and Domestic abuse
Moderate: Death, Physical abuse, Lesbophobia, Child abuse, and Grief
Minor: Cancer, Addiction, and Suicidal thoughts