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corneliusmcstrawberry's review against another edition
hopeful
informative
reflective
medium-paced
3.75
this book is a bit self-help-y but it’s not that bad. previous reviews have noted that bell hooks shames monica lewinsky, and she does, which seemed anti-feminist and insensitive. aside from that, there were moments that really stuck w me and applied to my own life. survivors of abuse may find this book insightful, comforting, and eye-opening, and i’d recommend it to them. there were some points where i found myself skimming on autopilot - reading a 200 page book solely about love becomes a bit monotonous after a while and so i had to take breaks. but bell hooks’ writing style is clear and direct, and as i alluded to earlier, she makes a lot of great points about how love and abuse cannot coexist even though our culture begs to differ in many ways. i’ve seen this book quoted and recommended online a lot, which is why i read it, and indeed it is chock-full of inspiring and thoughtful quotes about love. overall, i liked it. this is not the first of bell hooks’ works that i have read - i read an article of hers titled ‘women at work’ and i do believe that she deserves the praise she gets for her writings about patriarchy (which, naturally, are prominent in ‘all about love’ too).
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexism and Misogyny
Moderate: Racism, Child abuse, Domestic abuse, Drug abuse, Grief, Physical abuse, Emotional abuse, and Toxic relationship
Minor: Addiction, Cancer, Suicidal thoughts, Terminal illness, and Death
rieviolet's review against another edition
challenging
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
2.5
I have to say I have mixed feelings about this book. I came into it with maybe too high expectations but at times I really struggled to pick the book up again and keep on reading. In the end, I feel a bit "meh" about it.
On one hand, I really enjoyed some of the author's reflections, for example on the devaluation of friendships in favour of romantic bonds (although I think it was not developed much and a good portion of the book then focused mostly on romantic love) and on the negative effects of patriarchy.
And I really appreciated the definition of love that hooks included in the book: "the will to extend one’s self for the purpose of nurturing one’s own or another’s spiritual growth".
On the other, some reflections did not resonate with me just as much and I struggled to really absorb them, maybe I needed some more in-depth analysis/comment in certain chapters, rather than just vague and general statements.
Some other aspects of the book also left me a bit unconvinced , such as: a framework very much heteronormative and binarist in terms of gender; the sections on work and love; the section critizing Monica Lewinsky (a very uncomfortable passage to read that I could have done without); the reflections about forgiveness (especially when in relation to queer people, thank you but I'm going to stay very far away from bigoted and hurtful people if I am able to do so, even if they are family members).
Also some parts of the book just are not for me personally. Whenever religion, biblical scriptures, angels etc. get mentioned I turn into that Mike Wazowski's meme, "Put that thing back where it came from or so help me!". But that is obviously on me and people who are religious and /or spiritual will certainly connect more with those parts.
On one hand, I really enjoyed some of the author's reflections, for example on the devaluation of friendships in favour of romantic bonds (although I think it was not developed much and a good portion of the book then focused mostly on romantic love) and on the negative effects of patriarchy.
And I really appreciated the definition of love that hooks included in the book: "the will to extend one’s self for the purpose of nurturing one’s own or another’s spiritual growth".
On the other, some reflections did not resonate with me just as much and I struggled to really absorb them, maybe I needed some more in-depth analysis/comment in certain chapters, rather than just vague and general statements.
Some other aspects of the book also left me a bit unconvinced , such as: a framework very much heteronormative and binarist in terms of gender; the sections on work and love; the section critizing Monica Lewinsky (a very uncomfortable passage to read that I could have done without); the reflections about forgiveness (especially when in relation to queer people, thank you but I'm going to stay very far away from bigoted and hurtful people if I am able to do so, even if they are family members).
Also some parts of the book just are not for me personally. Whenever religion, biblical scriptures, angels etc. get mentioned I turn into that Mike Wazowski's meme, "Put that thing back where it came from or so help me!". But that is obviously on me and people who are religious and /or spiritual will certainly connect more with those parts.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Emotional abuse, Toxic relationship, Sexism, and Domestic abuse
Moderate: Death, Physical abuse, Lesbophobia, Child abuse, and Grief
Minor: Cancer, Addiction, and Suicidal thoughts
bonfeld's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
informative
inspiring
reflective
fast-paced
4.5
Reviewing this book is hard. I went in with super high expectations. I do think that despite any shortcomings, this book is an essential read for its willingness to define love and its commentary on the inner workings of love in ourselves and with others. Yes, there was a lot of gender essentialism, it was very centered on cis het relationships, yes it was weird that altho she emphasizes that romantic relationships should not be the only central relationships in our lives, every example of love she gave was about romantic love… but the overarching conversation about love as an action that leaves no room for manipulation, holding others back, abuse, etc. and distinguishing love from care were important.
Some people took issue with her insertion of religion and the last chapter about angels. Yes, there are several parts of the book that are preachy, where she just says things in a way that squashes questioning it, but that’s philosophy writing for you… In my opinion, the religious aspects were more to be taken as a metaphor - people look towards god and angels as a source of spirituality and divine ness, love can fulfill the same.
Like I said, I think this is an essential read that allows you to take away what’s important/resonates with you and leave what doesn’t.
Some people took issue with her insertion of religion and the last chapter about angels. Yes, there are several parts of the book that are preachy, where she just says things in a way that squashes questioning it, but that’s philosophy writing for you… In my opinion, the religious aspects were more to be taken as a metaphor - people look towards god and angels as a source of spirituality and divine ness, love can fulfill the same.
Like I said, I think this is an essential read that allows you to take away what’s important/resonates with you and leave what doesn’t.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Death, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Grief, and Toxic relationship
Minor: Misogyny
mallory10100's review against another edition
i just wasn’t in the mood for non-fiction books
Content Warnings
Graphic: Domestic abuse, Homophobia, Racism, and Toxic relationship
Moderate: Addiction, Alcoholism, Biphobia, Grief, Lesbophobia, and Mental illness
sderrig's review against another edition
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
5.0
Content Warnings
Minor: Abandonment, Cancer, Child abuse, Chronic illness, Death, Emotional abuse, Grief, Homophobia, Self harm, Suicidal thoughts, Terminal illness, Toxic friendship, and Toxic relationship
courtneyfalling's review against another edition
hopeful
informative
fast-paced
4.0
This feels like the closest thing to a self-help book that I've possibly ever read. It focuses a lot on heteronormative and presumably cis relationships, but it does a good job distinguishing between the harmful socialization men and women currently experience and any intrinsic traits they might possess. Even though it's incisive and sometimes deeply critical of the relationships many of us accept as 'good enough,' it offers a lot of hope that better relationships are possible. And it made me think about how different our societies and, even on a smaller scale, our activist communities could be if we prioritized a love ethic in everything we do.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Misogyny
Moderate: Domestic abuse, Child abuse, Death, and Grief
caseythereader's review against another edition
challenging
reflective
medium-paced
3.0
Content Warnings
Moderate: Cancer, Child abuse, Death, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Grief, Misogyny, and Physical abuse
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