Reviews tagging 'Gaslighting'

The Love Songs of W.E.B. Du Bois by Honorée Fanonne Jeffers

9 reviews

madeleinebay's review against another edition

5.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Child abuse, Colonisation, Death, Domestic abuse, Drug abuse, Drug use, Emotional abuse, Gaslighting, Genocide, Grief, Hate crime, Incest, Infidelity, Misogyny, Murder, Pedophilia, Police brutality, Pregnancy, Racial slurs, Racism, Rape, Sexism, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Sexual harassment, Slavery, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide attempt, Torture, Toxic relationship, and Violence

erebus53's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional informative reflective sad tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.5

This is a book I was recommended by a member of an online book club. I really had no idea what it would be about and sometimes I like to go into things with no preconceptions. The focus of this book is telling an intergenerational story of a family. It is fiction, but has the feel of several intergenerational narratives I have liked, such as Wild Swans. The focus of the narrative is Feminist and is an account of the history of Black Americans in the South (specifically Georgia).

Having read Kindred by Octavia E. Butler, 12 Years a Slave by Solomon Northup, and Legendborn by Tracy Deonn, a lot of the plot points of this book were familiar. If you haven't learned much about the Antebellum South, this could be quite rough going. As a historian (main character) Ailey Pearl Garfield is often shaken, and moved to tears, by the accounts she unearths about happenings in her family's past.

This story is nuanced, and the characters feel like people rather than archetypes. Weaving a history filled with trauma would be pretty much impossible without some levity and there is a lot of dialogue that lightens the mood. Some of the humour is utterly hilarious and there are often call-backs to information about minor characters that pepper the backstory with shared in-jokes and form a real sense of this family inhabiting a rich world and community. There are a couple of LGBT characters in the story, and a family history of Dyslexia which becomes apparent as Ailey digs deeper into her family's story.

I could write an entire page to describe the content warnings... but I won't. Let's just say that Racism is the tip of a horrible, bloody iceberg, and that genocide, sexual abuse, physical abuse, suicide, drug addiction, miscarriage, gaslighting and oppression of various forms are all in this book. It's a big book.. there are a lot of words.. and not all of it is pretty.

The Audiobook is beautifully narrated by 3 different voice talents, and the story spans several different timelines, so if you are "reading" by Audiobook it's a good idea to download the supplemental material that lists the genealogy of the family, so you don't get lost.

Thoroughly recommend this book. I found myself really excited by some revelations near the end and more than once I got body chills and frisson from emotionally resonant bits. This would be a great bookclub read if you have people who read at about the same pace, and don't mind tomes that exceed 800 pages.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Sexism, Miscarriage, Infidelity, Death of parent, Suicidal thoughts, Sexual violence, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Mental illness, Grief, Vomit, Fire/Fire injury, Cursing, Excrement, Addiction, Rape, Racism, Pregnancy, Pedophilia, Murder, Genocide, Suicide, Misogyny, Trafficking, Toxic friendship, Torture, Homophobia, Gun violence, Gaslighting, Emotional abuse, Colonisation, Confinement, Blood, Alcohol, Ableism, Physical abuse, Hate crime, Gore, Classism, Child abuse, Abortion, Violence, Self harm, Racial slurs, Suicide attempt, Incest, Domestic abuse, Death, Xenophobia, Toxic relationship, Slavery, Drug use, and Drug abuse

permanme's review against another edition

dark emotional informative sad medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.5

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Child abuse, Child death, Classism, Colonisation, Addiction, Pedophilia, Death, Drug abuse, Drug use, Emotional abuse, Gaslighting, Physical abuse, Slavery, Violence, Pregnancy, Rape, Incest, Infidelity, Racism, Sexism, Sexual assault, Trafficking, Hate crime, Racial slurs, and Sexual violence

Moderate: Genocide, Abortion, and Alcohol

cuddlygryphon's review against another edition

challenging emotional informative inspiring reflective sad tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.25

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Addiction, Animal death, Child abuse, Child death, Classism, Drug abuse, Drug use, Death, Domestic abuse, Fire/Fire injury, Infidelity, Adult/minor relationship, Emotional abuse, Gaslighting, Grief, Hate crime, Kidnapping, Murder, Physical abuse, Misogyny, Racial slurs, Racism, Toxic relationship, Violence, Sexism, Self harm, Slavery, Sexual violence, Sexual content, Sexual assault, and Rape

Moderate: Colonisation, Addiction, Infidelity, Injury/Injury detail, Abandonment, Abortion, Blood, Infertility, Miscarriage, and Misogyny

Minor: Religious bigotry and Police brutality

asiyam's review

challenging emotional inspiring reflective sad medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Rape, Sexual assault, Slavery, Mental illness, Gaslighting, Racism, and Drug use

rustynailsfullset's review

dark emotional sad medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

4.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Drug abuse, Slavery, Racism, Grief, Rape, Addiction, Child abuse, Death, and Incest

Moderate: Classism, Death of parent, Misogyny, Racial slurs, Domestic abuse, Drug use, Emotional abuse, Suicide attempt, Torture, Child abuse, Alcoholism, Sexual assault, Genocide, Gaslighting, and Physical abuse

3littlewordz's review

challenging emotional hopeful informative inspiring reflective sad tense slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

5.0

 “Even in a place of sorrow, time passes. Even in a place of joy." And so passes time in the Love Songs of W.E.B. DuBois by Honoree Fanonne Jeffers. 

This book was perfect. Simply incredibly perfect. I’ve seen people in the book-osphere that have mentioned wanting to be able to read a book again for the first time, and this is one of those books. I already know that this epic novel is one of my top reads of all time. Yes, I’ve already called it. 

So many themes were explored in the centuries covered in this storyline: slavery and the transatlantic slave trade, the displacement and genocide of Indigenous people, sexual assault/incest, casual racism and racial terror, colorism (including passing), distrust, family secrets, drug addiction, segregation, life at an HBCU vs. PWI, the journey through academia as a black person…so many more. Another throughline explored beautifully was the Black American’s relationship to food, and how it could be both soothing and harmful. And of course, Du Bois!! His pen is razor-sharp and I absolutely love how the quotes at the beginning of each Song were so superbly chosen for that portion of the book. Ultimately, the strong family bonds wrapped me up like a warm, cozy blanket, even when the family dealt with strife and pain. 

Now, there are SEVERAL triggers in this book, and several themes mentioned above are explored in rather explicit detail. If you haven't yet started on the path to healing for those triggers (mainly sexual assault and abuse), some parts of this story may be too heavy for you. I finished some chapters and had to close my eyes and decompress. 

Jeffers' writing style is exquisite. I particularly enjoyed the historical anchors (beyond simple dates) included throughout the novel that oriented me to time and place. It's easy to tell that she's a poet by the phrasing and descriptions used throughout. Her world-building was so expansive and wonderfully done that I blinked and devoured 50-100 pages at a time. I actually read all except the very first chapter in 8 days - I didn't mind reading all 800 pages quickly! 

Simply put, read this book. And if you’ve already read this and are equally as enamored with this type of story as I am, I strongly recommend Some Sing, Some Cry by Ntozake Shange and Ifa Bayeza. 

 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Abandonment, Addiction, Adult/minor relationship, Alcoholism, Child abuse, Classism, Abortion, Drug abuse, Pedophilia, Death, Genocide, Incest, Physical abuse, Racial slurs, Colonisation, Cultural appropriation, Grief, Hate crime, Racism, Rape, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Death of parent, Domestic abuse, Trafficking, Violence, and Slavery

Moderate: Religious bigotry, Self harm, Sexual harassment, Suicidal thoughts, Alcohol, Child death, Cursing, Drug use, Gaslighting, and Pregnancy

just_one_more_paige's review

challenging dark emotional informative reflective sad medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

5.0

 

My 10th Aspen Words Longlist read done! And the one that was most intimidating, size-wise. I had actually bought this one for myself a while ago, I think before the longlist was even announced, actually. But I waited til I could get the audiobook from the library to go with it, because I knew I was going to need the dual media to keep myself steady reading through it. And while I was right about that (I think I'm becoming deeply dependent on audiobooks to move me through longer or more slower paced reads, both nonfiction and fiction, now), I also did not want to stop reading/listening. I found myself pulling it up even when I only had 10 or 15 free minutes because I was just that invested in the characters and their development. Anyways, onwards to the review! 

 

Ailey Pearl Garfield, of Georgia, is descended from enslaved persons and tenant farmers. Although she herself is raised in the City, where her father is a doctor, she spends the summer with her mother's family in the rural town they've lived in for generations. From childhood, Ailey has felt the burden of her family's expectations, especially the women of her family, on her shoulders, from the distant ancestors she hears in her dreams to her mother and older sister. As both Ailey's own childhood trauma and the historical trauma of her family are revealed on page through alternating past and present story-telling, a portrait of her family's complex and interwoven past - Indigenous, Black, white - comes into focus, in a way both intimate and representative. Throughout, all the motifs Jeffers and Ailey uncover together are pulled together in thematic and literary fashion by passages from (and stories of) the great W.E.B. Du Bois. 

 

This is the most sweeping saga of a novel that I have read in a while; incredibly ambitious in scope of both time and character. With novels like this, I am not even sure where to begin, because the fact that the blurb focuses solely on Ailey does nothing to show the breadth of family development we get throughout the novels, from the generations of ancestor and the stories of these people whose only legacy is in the memories of the bones of their descendants to Ailey's direct family, like her mother and grandmothers, her older sisters Coco and Lydia, and especially her Uncle Root. They are all so robust, as much Ailey herself, and their on-page voices deserve the justice of having a greater voice in the book blurb. And they experience so much in these pages. Which sounds obvious, but considering how many novels are told about just a single character, and this is an entire family tree over two centuries, it's almost too much to comprehend. That being said, I was deeply impressed with the way Jeffers was able to distill their voices down to the aspects that most defined them, that made them the most human, giving them full-throated life with what she chose to narrate, from the smallest daily details to the largest historical contexts. And while overwhelming at times, because of course it must be, it never felt too bogged down or too rushed; a most impressive handle on pacing for a book of this size. 

 

Using Ailey as the centerpiece for this family epic was a lovely literary device, allowing us to see in dual ways how history unfolded for those who lived it (during the "Song" portions of the novel), and the myriad ways that that history impacts present day circumstances, both individually and in general. Getting the many perspectives of other members of Ailey's family also allowed for a wonderful exploration of how many different ways people have chosen to deal with and survive (or not) the lives handed to them by history and other forces outside their control. The obvious primary themes in this novel center around the Black experience throughout the history of America, from the first days of slavery through the (more or less) present day. This is very closely intertwined, at least in the earliest parts of the story, though these family threads are lost to knowledge over the generations (due to being purposefully hidden and otherwise), with Indigenous, Creek specifically, histories and ancestry in both the Georgia area and Ailey's own family. In parallel with that, the idea of trauma was closely knit into the fabric of this book. There is a fascinating parallel/mirrored look at inter-generational trauma alongside repeated childhood sexual abuse (major CW here), the way that both follow a person like a shadow throughout life that cannot be escaped, only coped with. Seeing Ailey move through the complicated task of dealing with each of these, and the ways they affected her both tangible and intangible, was incredibly affecting...and effective. There was also a lot of material gaslighting (like, a lot), as well as an elaborate look at colorism within the Black community, and quite a bit of heavy-handed morality about sex and morality. These were very insightfully addressed topics, but were at times intense in a way that could be triggering.  

 

As always, I want to highlight the nuanced sibling relationships, as these are always highlights for me when done well. I loved the way Ailey, Coco and Lydia shared uncompromising love and also trauma, closely held secrets and absolute support, and the different ways they each handled and showed these things. It was just perfectly complex in its dual tragedy and joy. I also want to highlight Ailey's relationship with her Uncle Root, a primary thread throughout the novel and the most strong, heartwarming and wholesome relationships I have read recently. Overall, I loved basically everything about the intricacy of Ailey's stories and relationships, from the family to the romantic, but I want to also say that that was where I learned about her, through the way she was with others. I am not sure Ailey ever developed, at least what I felt like, was her own voice... She always felt a bit more like a representation or archetype than an individual, despite the overall story revolving around her, as those around her seemed to steer her and she tended to follow the paths laid out for her. Perhaps this was purposeful, to show that our history and our relationships are the guiding forces in the options we have and who we become, but Ailey consistently felt most real to me through others' eyes, rather than in her own right. 

 

What a saga this was; of family, of Black history, of both intertwined. This is history come alive. It’s an intensity of individual and personal experience through which to experience such a swath of time. It’s such a pervasive sense of voice and illustration of both that history and the way it insidiously, both obviously and subtly, structures and influences our present day, and the many, many ways that people process that reality of oppression and resistance and resilience and tragedy throughout the years. Brilliant. 

 

“Some places make you feel good for a while, but you can’t stay.” 

 

“He didn’t know that you could ache for a place, even when it had hurt you so badly.” 

 

“How to explain what it was like to be Black to this white woman who wasn't even southern? That a Black child didn't have a right to hate their Black mama? Hatred was not allowed against your parents, no matter what had happened. You had to forgive your parents for whatever they had done even if they'd never apologized, because everybody had to stay together. So much had been lost already to Black folks.” 

 

“Even in a place of sorrow, time passes. Even in a place of joy. Do not assume that either keeps life from continuing, for there are children everywhere.” 

 

“Every lover lies to herself, in small or large ways.” 

 

“When we speak about history, we speak about somebody’s life.” 

 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Suicidal thoughts, Slavery, Sexism, Racism, Hate crime, Gun violence, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Emotional abuse, Colonisation, Classism, Addiction, Violence, Rape, Racial slurs, Physical abuse, Infidelity, Grief, Gaslighting, Drug abuse, Drug use, Death of parent, Death, and Child abuse

Moderate: Terminal illness, Pregnancy, Injury/Injury detail, Cancer, Abandonment, Ableism, Abortion, Toxic relationship, Body shaming, Cursing, Medical content, and Murder

cantfindmybookmark's review

challenging dark emotional hopeful informative reflective sad tense slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? No

5.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Sexual assault, Pedophilia, Rape, Slavery, Child abuse, Drug abuse, Racial slurs, Drug use, and Racism

Moderate: Colonisation, Domestic abuse, Fatphobia, Hate crime, Misogyny, Gaslighting, Suicidal thoughts, and Death of parent