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sidharthvardhan's review against another edition
5.0
It is, you see, difficult to stay connected with old friends that is why I once created this website where you could find and meet your old friends. I was in a good mood that day and since it hardly took me an hour to create it, so I gave it to this young boy – try as I may, I can’t recall his name Mark something, he was pissed off after his GF broke with him. I can’t recall his last name zuck … berger … bug…
Anyway I wouldn’t have mentioned it if this same website was not used by some of my enemies to exaggerate my little powers and thus ridicule them. If there is one thing I can’t tolerate – it is deviation, even slightest deviation from truth. One of them said that I once lifted an anaconda to save a child with a single hand to save a child in its grip and threw the beast away. It is such a stupid lie – How can people believe that? I could barely lift the animal with both my hands.
Anyway it spoiled my mood and I happened to be presiding this interplanetary conference that day. When representatives of Pluto (they are yellow-orange color, medium-sized, short-haired dogs with black ears having particular love for rats) were five minutes late.... I confess my anger was unjust but what happened is what happened – and now, Pluto is no longer a planet.
I could have cooled down but for a while the queen of England; she knows me from when I sold a lock of my hair to end the last economic depression; was pestering me over which president should her people chose next. People just can’t understand that I have more important things to do. In frustration, I told her to just go for the last one again. I think she did.
I have no time to follow the news in all my universe-saving endeavors. Just last week, my good friend Doctor Who (I once mended his toy machine TARDIS) visited me to ask my help in saving a planet in a galaxy, name of which can’t be pronounced in Earth’s atmosphere.
All this work makes one moody. Even now I was planning to give a speech which would have ended all the evil in the world and make Earth a heaven but I have changed my plan since my pizza was no good (I’m tired of you lesser mortals) and my date Jennifer Aniston is late.. She says she is twenty two but I highly doubt that. Women often hide their age around me. Anyway she was a big letdown after Marilyn Monroe and … Venus. And, don’t even ask me about Helen. Ah! those were the days - specially when Greeks fought with Troy believing she ran away with Paris!
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PART 2
I have discovered that a lot of people are taking what I have said as mere tall tales when, in fact, if ever I was guilty of lying then it was because I couldn't do away with my habit of modesty. For example, this once, back in very old days - it was just a week before I handed those commandments to Moses; I participated in this village wide game we were playing where you have to throw rocks, and person whose rocks hits the ground furthest would win. May be I just happened to pick up too big a rock but I lost the game. Now tell me, would I be a tall-tale teller when I say I was a distant last in among hundreds of players? My throw was, in fact, so terrible that rock never landed; it just stayed out there in sky – people call it moon. Funny name! isn’t it, for a rock?
Once I was on this ‘moon’ – I often go there in search of solitude; when what I see is this vehicle lands near me and a man comes out of it in a clownish white silver dress and starts saying some stupid things like 'big step', 'small step' -I really didn't get it. He was still rambling when he saw me; his face turned red. "Aa! You kids!" I said watching him stop, "And your little games! Cute!". When they realized the truth, they started begging me to let them have the credit for being the first to be on moon. I let them, I was too modest to claim any credit for myself. I heard they had to destroy all those photographs taken there to keep the secret.
Anyway, I'm not much for publicity. This once upon a time, I was sleeping at an airport when this aeroplane suddenly got some technical problem in landing. People began panicking which is all you mortals seem good for, and there was a lot of noise -it waked me up. I was obviously angry at being woken up in this manner - and just to shut them up, I stretched my arm to take hold of aeroplane and put it on ground. My arm hurt for weeks after that. Someone not believing the evidence of his eyes shouted "but it is humanly impossible." "Yes,” I said not knowing what he meant, “What is your point?"
Yet, you won't see any account of this event in any of newspapers because I took special pains to make sure it won't get publihed. Although, censoring this news from newspapers was way too easier than censoring this photo of mine with that guy who happened to be at airport. Personally I’m not much about being photographed but he; I think I can recall his name ... Yes, Robert Downey Jr. he kept on insisting.
Yet another reason, I won't come out is because I'm just too lazy. Last time, your humble narrator felt like actually doing something was a long way back. It was so dark out in those days that I had to began by calling for light ('Let there be light') and so it went as I worked for six days straight (I signed my creations with pseudonyms like'God' in those days)
...but then I thought that I really do not want image of a hard-working person - specially someone who won't even take Saturdays off, it doesn't suit me. Also, my work from last day was terrible one - man (although I perfected it later in second attempt) And so I spread a rumor that it all started with a Big Bang. Yet, another cover up was the evidence of evolution (fake dinosaur homes) that I planted all over the planet. It all went well. Giant lizards! Really, people will believe anything.
I think it is just me people find it difficult to believe – maybe I just give the wrong kind of waves. If someone else was to say those things – you would believe him or her. I won’t know why. For example, I once wrote this document about the workings of the creation I just talked about; I remember I was with an Egyption queen that time. Another name I can’t recall, I have such a bad memory for names – anyway, I used to call her Leo. She was some woman, she cheated on three different guys with me (her brother, Ceasor and Anthony). Every time I went to her, she would be with a different man. I gifted her this lovely cross breed pet, she used to call it Sphinix … but I’m diverting, my point being, it was while coming back to present that I thought that this document would be useless because people never believe whatever I say and so I threw it away. Some one seems to have found it, Isaac was it? Now while no one believes anything I say, everybody believed him when he said that he got all this from falling of an apple!
__________
Part 3
I see people still seems to be thinking that I just tell tall-tales. Now if you visited my town, you would have known the fame I have for my honesty, they swear on it –if they want to praise someone’s honesty they will say he is as honest as our great lord Manchurian (since that the title they use for me) or if they want to assert truthiness of something, they will say ‘believe it as if our great lord M. has said it.’ The Roman people were even better- they named a whole month after me – of course it later deteriorated from Munch to March but hey, it is the gesture that counts. And of course Johnny Depp, whom I was just talking with, could have told you - but he is won't be seen with me. He says he feels eclipsed by my presence.
I responded if it is any consolation DiCaprio feels the same.
Of course sometimes one have to lie, I mean if kids comes to me and say how much they like Arybhatta for inventing Zero or Vinci for his paintings or Mozart for music he created – I can’t help nodding while trying hard to suppress my smile. We can’t take away children’s heroes, can we?
Still I don’t like people who will take credit for work done by others. Edison was at least honest enough to never actively claim undue honor. He always talked about discovering 10,000 ways that won’t work, he never said anything about discovering that single way that did work, did he? Ever wondered why?
Ya. You are right.
Other people though aren’t as honest. Even now I have just received a phone call, they were from committee deciding who gets from Nobel prize for Economics. Of course, like every year, I told them to find someone else - and tell the committees for Physics, Chemistry and Physiology to do the same. It has become a habit with them, every year they are pestering me with phone calls. I tell you it gets on one’s nerves. I have often changed my number, but they always get it from CERN, where I happened to be the president. The peace prize ones are the worst of lot, given my peaceful attitude there is no stopping them, that is why I didn’t tell the economics guys to try.
And what about Literature? you ask. The thing is I no longer write anything. I wrote this long collection of stage-plays this once. I lost them all during my visit to a theatre on Queen Elizabeth’s invitation. If I'm right (and I'm hardly ever not) it was my horse-man, William something, who stole it.
Ever since I have lost the taste of it. And to be honest I judge people who will do nothing but read all day. I mean how lame is that! Get a life!
You know what else I don’t like? People pretending to be cleverer than they are. Just last week I was visited by this Baker street kid who thinks he is a detective and his Doctor friend; quickly the former launched into that case he need my help for “there is this murder” he was saying “there are no clues, no motives, nothing peculiar….”
“Sherry! Sherry! Sherry!” I interrupted his monologue, shaking my head once for every ‘Sherry’, “The younger sister is the murderer. You can dig in the garden in the right hand side of her neighbor’s backyard, for the knife with her fingerprints on it.”
He and his friend were shocked for some reason. After taking his time to swallow his pride, he asked “How do you know? It is not even in newspapers.”
These kids I tell you! “Oh! It is obvious, Listen Sherry and try to understand and you, Hamish” I said looking at his friend, “You just listen, Okay! … In the beginning there was word.”
“And…” Sherry said, somehow, not finding the explanation sufficient.
“… and all the rest follows.” Can the chain of reasoning be more obvious? Well it wasn’t for those two, so I had to explain them in detail. Of course, I won’t insult your cleverness by going into explanations.
I have always found these geniuses to be more irritating than others. This another kid, supposed to be a genius, kept irritating me about his observations and about how he was sure that energy was somehow a curtain or something over matter or something until I lost my temperament and had to interrupt him telling “Not so clever Einstein, e equals m c square.”
I tell you it is difficult to be a genius in a world of mediocre people – fortunately though most of you will never know this feeling. There was actually this one time I lost my temperament and decided to destroy the whole planet. Start the whole thing all over again, you know! Of course in all my kindness I wanted to give humanity a chance to mend their ways. And so what I do is bring a couple of really big asteroids, put them in ocean, put some people on it and tell them that world is going to end on Decemeber 21,2012 (since that was the day I decided). And so they build their calendars and everything accordingly.” Next, I go and tell Columbus to look for India in the West.
Of course people didn’t change their ways and so I was all bent on destroying the World. I had everyting set in order but had to abandon the plan due to health reasons.
Damn You, common cold!
After that I was too lazy to go through it all over again. Anyway, it is more fun this way - Didn't I put Donald duck (or was it Trump) as contestant for US elections just for laughs of it!
Still,I wonder what it feels like to be stupid – sometimes I do have this really absurd dream, in which I’m just a stupid guy who reads some books, thinks himself clever for that, writes foolish reviews with lame jokes on a websire and is glad to get a few, what-can-only-be-called, pity likes. To imagine!
warrenl's review against another edition
3.0
I enjoyed the beginning when the Baron was fighting wolves and bears with his bare hands, however things became increasingly ridiculous. It was more silly and less fun, and the prose became increasingly purple. You need a bit of staying power past the halfway mark. By the time Don Quixote turned up I'd really had enough but, like the Baron himself, I don't quit easily so I finished the book, however not without a sigh of relief.
aront's review against another edition
3.0
Fun read though lots of mediocre writing as well. The intro about the author is more fascinating than the book itself. Watch Terry Gilliam’s movie though. Far, far superior, although you can see where he drew inspiration and ideas from the book.
balletbookworm's review against another edition
4.0
Not a solid four stars but, as explained in the Afterword, only Chapters 2-6 (about 34pp) in the edition reprinted by Melville House are the original Munchausen stories by Raspe. The rest are the work of hack writers expanding on the form of Voyages Imaginaires for profit. As such they're kind of terrible and a sad pastiche of Swift's satire.
But those original 34 pages are such wonderful tall tales that they're worth the rest of the book (as is the tale of Raspe's life).
But those original 34 pages are such wonderful tall tales that they're worth the rest of the book (as is the tale of Raspe's life).
glowbird's review against another edition
3.0
Two stars for content, one for design. The illustrations are lovely but the writing is odd. The stories are very short, absurd vignettes. The material is dated...and things are holding up unevenly after 200-ish years. Having loved the movie it was nice to get a glimpse of the source material, but the Baron isn't a guy with whom I want to spend loads of time. The forward suggests reading these in random spirts and I agree. It would be perfect to have loaded on your phone to read when your bus is late.
kbcozy22's review against another edition
adventurous
mysterious
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
3.5
What a strange book! It jumped around and was sometimes hard to follow. But it had fun and crazy moments. This was more of a collection of crazy vignettes rather than a linear story. Definitely crazy.
deebster's review against another edition
3.0
The two halves were clearly different authors. The first half I quite enjoyed; the stories were short and ridiculous and the deeds boasted of were witty and entertaining.
The second half was quite tedious, both in its sesquipedalian writing style and its content, and the boasting was more about how everyone loved him and endless references to other works.
I'd definitely recommend reading just the first half and ignoring the fan faction second half.
The second half was quite tedious, both in its sesquipedalian writing style and its content, and the boasting was more about how everyone loved him and endless references to other works.
I'd definitely recommend reading just the first half and ignoring the fan faction second half.
ladulcinella's review against another edition
3.0
We all know the type: he is an expert in everything, experienced the most extraordinary things and goes on bragging aboutbit. A classic that is more than 200 years old, still the same people around:-) It is a nice quick read, more interesting for what he wrote about than for the excellence of the literary style, but it is one to read and reread on a rainy spring day.