katrinky's review
4.0
"You've punctured my solitude," I told you. [...] "I feel I can give you everything without giving myself away, I whispered in your basement bed. If one does one's solitude right, this is the prize. (5)
"The sight of Carson's brackets made me feel instantly ashamed of my compulsion to put my cards more decidedly on the table But the more I thought about the brackets, the more they bugged me. They seemed to make a fetish of the unsaid, rather than simply letting it be contained in the sayable." (49)
(This book is, among other things, a fetishizing of SAYING. Of deeming it all worth writing down, worth publishing. The problem of the first, as with the L Word- it's not normal yet to have the minutiae of queer life and thought presented in book form, particularly rooted in philosophy and theory, so this is the representation we've got, and it chafes where it doesn't match my personal taste. It's an overshare and it's really a book of a smart person typing her thoughts about anything she wants and calling it a book, but it's vital for being a queer state of the union address when there are so few reaching an audience the size of Nelson's. And much of her process of falling in love with Harry- avoiding pronouns instead of asking, stumbling through how to talk to waiters and government officials, etc- is hugely valuable as a roadmap, a forgiveness, and an urging to be better to anyone trying to expand their understanding and language around gender fluidity.)
"And now, after living behind you all these years, and watching your wheel of a mind bring forth an art of pure wildness—as I labor grimly on these sentences, wondering all the while if prose is but the gravestone marking the forsaking of wildness (fidelity to sense-making, to assertion, to argument, however loose)—I'm no longer sure which of us is more at home in the world, which of us more free." (52)
"a heroic gay male sexuality as a stand-in for queerness which remains unpolluted by procreative femininity." --susan fraiman (67)
TO READ:
Luce Irigaray
Christina Crosby
Susan Fraiman
Dodie Bellamy
Beatriz Preciado
Winnicott on the Child
Eve Kosofsky Sedgwick
"The sight of Carson's brackets made me feel instantly ashamed of my compulsion to put my cards more decidedly on the table But the more I thought about the brackets, the more they bugged me. They seemed to make a fetish of the unsaid, rather than simply letting it be contained in the sayable." (49)
(This book is, among other things, a fetishizing of SAYING. Of deeming it all worth writing down, worth publishing. The problem of the first, as with the L Word- it's not normal yet to have the minutiae of queer life and thought presented in book form, particularly rooted in philosophy and theory, so this is the representation we've got, and it chafes where it doesn't match my personal taste. It's an overshare and it's really a book of a smart person typing her thoughts about anything she wants and calling it a book, but it's vital for being a queer state of the union address when there are so few reaching an audience the size of Nelson's. And much of her process of falling in love with Harry- avoiding pronouns instead of asking, stumbling through how to talk to waiters and government officials, etc- is hugely valuable as a roadmap, a forgiveness, and an urging to be better to anyone trying to expand their understanding and language around gender fluidity.)
"And now, after living behind you all these years, and watching your wheel of a mind bring forth an art of pure wildness—as I labor grimly on these sentences, wondering all the while if prose is but the gravestone marking the forsaking of wildness (fidelity to sense-making, to assertion, to argument, however loose)—I'm no longer sure which of us is more at home in the world, which of us more free." (52)
"a heroic gay male sexuality as a stand-in for queerness which remains unpolluted by procreative femininity." --susan fraiman (67)
TO READ:
Luce Irigaray
Christina Crosby
Susan Fraiman
Dodie Bellamy
Beatriz Preciado
Winnicott on the Child
Eve Kosofsky Sedgwick
caralikesbooks's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
hopeful
reflective
sad
medium-paced
4.25
eleanor_rose22's review against another edition
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
fast-paced
4.5
Surprisingly so lovely, eye-opening and illuminating. A fascinating insight into queer family making, as Maggie undergoes pregnancy and her partner begins T. So embedded in theory and critical thought but equally focuses on the importance of real, lived queer experience (the inexpressible!) Utterly beautiful, only lacking .5 bc I’m a dumb bimbo who didn’t get all the references
carolinethereader's review
3.0
I'D put off reading this for a long time because I'm very rarely in the mood for serious books but I finally read it and ended up quite enjoying it. This is an interesting and critical memoir. Nelson references a number of other authors frequently as starting points for discussion about motherhood, love, feminism and identity which I really enjoyed.
There was a lot of interesting quotes and a lot to think about while reading this. The parts I enjoyed the most were those that dealt with motherhood (and step-motherhood) and those that addressed the fluidity of gender. Some super insightful observations were made, but there was also a lot of emotion and heart in them because of the personal experiences of the author. It was good to read.
I'm giving this a slightly lower rating because, despite enjoying the subject matter, the writing style just wasn't for me. I found it oddly tangental a number of times and felt as though I was struggling to keep up with Nelson's train of thought or something. There were times when a point would be built up and then it would go off on a different track and the point would never be wholly addressed again. It became a little frustrating and although it didn't ruin things for me, it definitely had an impact on my enjoyment.
There was a lot of interesting quotes and a lot to think about while reading this. The parts I enjoyed the most were those that dealt with motherhood (and step-motherhood) and those that addressed the fluidity of gender. Some super insightful observations were made, but there was also a lot of emotion and heart in them because of the personal experiences of the author. It was good to read.
I'm giving this a slightly lower rating because, despite enjoying the subject matter, the writing style just wasn't for me. I found it oddly tangental a number of times and felt as though I was struggling to keep up with Nelson's train of thought or something. There were times when a point would be built up and then it would go off on a different track and the point would never be wholly addressed again. It became a little frustrating and although it didn't ruin things for me, it definitely had an impact on my enjoyment.
apriljade's review
dark
emotional
funny
hopeful
reflective
fast-paced
5.0
Read this at the perfect time in my life -- some things just come along right when you need them. I might be able to write a better review when a little more time has passed, but I'm so grateful to have read this book.