Reviews tagging 'Child abuse'

Nusistatyk ribas, atrask ramybę: patarimai, kaip susigrąžinti savo tikrąjį aš by Nedra Glover Tawwab

7 reviews

kouran94's review against another edition

informative medium-paced

4.25

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Toxic relationship and Toxic friendship

Moderate: Emotional abuse and Child abuse

throwback682's review against another edition

challenging informative medium-paced

3.75

I think this book could potentially have a lot to offer some folks, especially in context of other books on setting boundaries. I have a few problems with it but I also liked a lot of things. Some things I simply wish would've been covered earlier in the book, such as asking yourself whether your requests are reasonable, and asking yourself if you're trying to change the other person on an intrinsic level. In my mind, those should be basic reflections before you ever set a boundary, as a part of understanding what a boundary actually is, but in this book they were an afterthought many chapters in. I also think the author and I have different definitions of "boundary". For example, "Be home by 5:00" isn't a boundary. It's a command. An explanation I find helpful about boundaries is "Boundaries aren't 'You won't' but are 'I will'." Sometimes I feel like her examples blurred that line. Particularly the example about the family with the alcoholic dad; I felt the son was trying to make rules for his dad instead of set boundaries for himself. All that being said, some of the examples were extremely helpful. I liked how many examples she gave and how much language she provided for different scenarios. I also liked that she used both straight and queer couples in her examples, and that there was at least one passing mention that indicated she was not assuming that monogamy is the standard for every relationship.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Alcoholism, Toxic friendship, and Toxic relationship

Moderate: Emotional abuse, Mental illness, Sexual violence, Infidelity, Child abuse, Gaslighting, and Sexual harassment

Minor: Pregnancy

tsweet7's review against another edition

informative medium-paced

4.5

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Content Warnings

Moderate: Alcoholism, Abandonment, and Child abuse

jen_b's review against another edition

reflective slow-paced

3.0

Important info but reads more like an expansion of multiple Instagram posts than a cohesive book. Not very in depth. 

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Content Warnings

Minor: Physical abuse, Emotional abuse, Child abuse, Domestic abuse, and Sexual harassment

orchidd's review against another edition

informative medium-paced

2.5

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Toxic relationship and Toxic friendship

Moderate: Alcohol, Alcoholism, Body shaming, Sexual assault, Child abuse, Domestic abuse, Racism, Addiction, Rape, Sexism, Emotional abuse, Fatphobia, Infidelity, Physical abuse, Sexual violence, and Suicide

ashleycmms's review against another edition

hopeful informative reflective tense fast-paced

4.0

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Content Warnings

Minor: Alcohol, Death, Infidelity, Toxic relationship, Alcoholism, Child abuse, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Gaslighting, Abandonment, Death of parent, Grief, and Toxic friendship

bluejayreads's review against another edition

informative inspiring fast-paced

5.0

 I've been looking for a good book on boundaries since I heard the term in college. Cloud and Townsend's famous book was too aggressively religious for me, and Anne Katherine's was ... bad. I didn't have high hopes for this one because I couldn't even find anything on the internet that could define boundaries for me, let alone tell me how to set one. 

Well, friends, this is the book I was looking for. 

Reading this book is a wild experience, because it keeps having moments of, "let me recontextualize your entire life in one sentence. Moving on..." I paused countless times to just stop and think and wrote down no less than seven verbatim quotes while reading because this book insists on dropping explosions of wisdom like they're obvious and continuing on while I'm still reeling. Reading this book redefined my childhood, explained how several relationship implosions in my past were at least partially caused by me not setting boundaries, and made setting boundaries make sense and feel doable. 

I'm still not entirely sure I can give you a definition of what a boundary is, but I at least feel like I understand the idea in a vague, nebulous way. What this book did give me was an understanding of what happens when you don't set boundaries, different areas where boundaries can and should be set (did you know you can have boundaries around your possessions? I didn't!), the psychology around boundaries, common ways people react to you setting boundaries, suggestions of possible boundaries to set if you have no idea where to start, and most importantly, how to set and reinforce your boundaries with others. 

This book is so inspiring and hopeful and explains so much about so many things. I've known a few boundaries I need to set, but this book makes it feel actually doable. It doesn't promise that setting boundaries is going to be easy or comfortable but it does promise it's both healthy and possible. It's both an instruction manual for setting boundaries and a permission slip from a real actual therapist that you're allowed to set boundaries and say no. I feel like so much understanding that I didn't even know I was missing has just been granted to me. Read this book. 

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Content Warnings

Minor: Child abuse, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, and Physical abuse

Some phrasing is not intended as victim blaming but could be interpreted as such.