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drraytay's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
reflective
sad
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Gaslighting, Suicidal thoughts, Misogyny, Mental illness, Toxic relationship, Grief, Emotional abuse, and Domestic abuse
Moderate: Violence, Colonisation, War, Physical abuse, Suicidal thoughts, Infidelity, and Death of parent
bookishmillennial's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
hopeful
reflective
sad
tense
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
disclaimer: I don’t really give starred reviews. I enjoy most books for what they are, & I extract lessons from them all. I hope my reviews provide enough information to let you know if a book is for you or not. Find me here: https://linktr.ee/bookishmillennial
Yara is a Palestinian American woman who grew up in Brooklyn, New York, whose parents were immigrants from Palestine, and who is now living in a small city with her husband & two young kids. This novel takes place over about a year in Yara’s life after a great loss, as she navigates depression amidst her occupational and interpersonal struggles as a mom and wife. There are excerpts from Yara’s journal in which she writes letters to her mom, mostly about memories from her childhood, scattered throughout the book, and each gives readers a bit more insight as to how volatile Yara’s childhood had been. Yara struggles to connect with her husband Fadi, and to be present for her daughters Mira and Jude. All the while, she questions herself and why she feels so depleted and empty of fulfillment, when she logically recognizes she has so much more than her parents did at her age. After she calls a colleague racist at work, Yara is strongly encouraged to begin counseling sessions with William, their staff therapist. Through this and through Yara’s own inner examinations, she begins exploring the roots of her pain, anger, and sadness.
Wow wow wow wow I am blown away. This is one of my favorite literary fiction novels EVER. Etaf Rum’s writing of Yara’s journey felt like a deep, quite, aching rumble 😭❤️🩹. This is a character-driven novel and Yara is such a dynamic, authentically human character! Rum fleshed out Yara’s behaviors, thoughts, fears, and motivations so incredibly well. Though I did not have the childhood that Yara had, I felt myself strongly relating to her, and infuriated for her! The way that Rum repeatedly gave us scenes where Yara attempted to mend a broken bridge, or extended an olive branch to her husband Fadi, was masterfully done. Yara desperately tries to ask for what she needs from Fadi, regarding time spent together, travel, emotional support and validation, reflection and examination of their lives and pasts, and something beyond watching tv together every night for an hour or two. It’s so disheartening to see Yara shut down every single time💔
Rum presents every single insidious comeback that people respond with when they gaslight or emotionally manipulate the person who is trying so desperately to be heard, seen, understood, or validated. I wanted to scream, “you’re not hearing her! listen to her! her feelings are valid! stop centering yourself!” but it was no use. I also appreciated that Rum presents a journey away from reconciliation. Sometimes, certain people simply cannot be the partner/friend/etc. you want them to be.
Yara’s relationship with her mother was quite devastating. There is nothing novel about fraught mother-daughter dynamics, but add in the layer of guilt Yara feels about her mother’s upbringing and abusive marriage, and you get a fully stacked complex PTSD sandwich. Yara fully recognizes that her mother would have probably felt grateful for the life Yara leads. It drives her even deeper into the spiral of feeling unworthy and unlovable. However, the way her perception of her mother adjusts over time because of her own personal journey was stunning; the level of empathy, tenderness, and sorrow she held for her mother was staggering and humbling. To find forgiveness is such a gift sometimes.
On the other hand, Yara’s dad was the perfect example of yet another person so stuck in their ways and centering themselves that their refusal to take any accountability only deepened the cuts that were already there. I fully believe you do not owe everyone all of you, and you do not owe everyone forgiveness. Some people need to earn their way back into your life and the way to pave this road is by changed behavior (and a bit of remorse goes a LONG way!).
I am so proud of Yara. She learns to listen to her gut, recognize how her body is feeling around certain people or when she is doing certain things, she makes a friend, she begins to open herself up and become a bit vulnerable, which is so scary! However, by doing this, she also expands her once-isolated world & truly begins to make decisions that she feels good about. So many people recognize that they are simply on autopilot & that their actions have been driven by people-pleasing, guilt, & shame. Not everyone does something about it; it’s no easy feat. Gosh, I loved this book & I’m so moved by Yara’s journey.
please see content warnings below & take care while reading 🫶🏽
Yara is a Palestinian American woman who grew up in Brooklyn, New York, whose parents were immigrants from Palestine, and who is now living in a small city with her husband & two young kids. This novel takes place over about a year in Yara’s life after a great loss, as she navigates depression amidst her occupational and interpersonal struggles as a mom and wife. There are excerpts from Yara’s journal in which she writes letters to her mom, mostly about memories from her childhood, scattered throughout the book, and each gives readers a bit more insight as to how volatile Yara’s childhood had been. Yara struggles to connect with her husband Fadi, and to be present for her daughters Mira and Jude. All the while, she questions herself and why she feels so depleted and empty of fulfillment, when she logically recognizes she has so much more than her parents did at her age. After she calls a colleague racist at work, Yara is strongly encouraged to begin counseling sessions with William, their staff therapist. Through this and through Yara’s own inner examinations, she begins exploring the roots of her pain, anger, and sadness.
Wow wow wow wow I am blown away. This is one of my favorite literary fiction novels EVER. Etaf Rum’s writing of Yara’s journey felt like a deep, quite, aching rumble 😭❤️🩹. This is a character-driven novel and Yara is such a dynamic, authentically human character! Rum fleshed out Yara’s behaviors, thoughts, fears, and motivations so incredibly well. Though I did not have the childhood that Yara had, I felt myself strongly relating to her, and infuriated for her! The way that Rum repeatedly gave us scenes where Yara attempted to mend a broken bridge, or extended an olive branch to her husband Fadi, was masterfully done. Yara desperately tries to ask for what she needs from Fadi, regarding time spent together, travel, emotional support and validation, reflection and examination of their lives and pasts, and something beyond watching tv together every night for an hour or two. It’s so disheartening to see Yara shut down every single time💔
Rum presents every single insidious comeback that people respond with when they gaslight or emotionally manipulate the person who is trying so desperately to be heard, seen, understood, or validated. I wanted to scream, “you’re not hearing her! listen to her! her feelings are valid! stop centering yourself!” but it was no use. I also appreciated that Rum presents a journey away from reconciliation. Sometimes, certain people simply cannot be the partner/friend/etc. you want them to be.
Yara’s relationship with her mother was quite devastating. There is nothing novel about fraught mother-daughter dynamics, but add in the layer of guilt Yara feels about her mother’s upbringing and abusive marriage, and you get a fully stacked complex PTSD sandwich. Yara fully recognizes that her mother would have probably felt grateful for the life Yara leads. It drives her even deeper into the spiral of feeling unworthy and unlovable. However, the way her perception of her mother adjusts over time because of her own personal journey was stunning; the level of empathy, tenderness, and sorrow she held for her mother was staggering and humbling. To find forgiveness is such a gift sometimes.
On the other hand, Yara’s dad was the perfect example of yet another person so stuck in their ways and centering themselves that their refusal to take any accountability only deepened the cuts that were already there. I fully believe you do not owe everyone all of you, and you do not owe everyone forgiveness. Some people need to earn their way back into your life and the way to pave this road is by changed behavior (and a bit of remorse goes a LONG way!).
I am so proud of Yara. She learns to listen to her gut, recognize how her body is feeling around certain people or when she is doing certain things, she makes a friend, she begins to open herself up and become a bit vulnerable, which is so scary! However, by doing this, she also expands her once-isolated world & truly begins to make decisions that she feels good about. So many people recognize that they are simply on autopilot & that their actions have been driven by people-pleasing, guilt, & shame. Not everyone does something about it; it’s no easy feat. Gosh, I loved this book & I’m so moved by Yara’s journey.
please see content warnings below & take care while reading 🫶🏽
Content Warnings
Graphic: Death of parent, Misogyny, Suicidal thoughts, Cursing, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Gaslighting, Grief, Racism, and Sexism
Minor: Infidelity, Genocide, and War
torturedreadersdept's review against another edition
dark
emotional
hopeful
reflective
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Abandonment, Bullying, Death, Child abuse, Gaslighting, Dysphoria, Emotional abuse, Racism, Cursing, Misogyny, War, Domestic abuse, Infidelity, Islamophobia, Mental illness, Suicidal thoughts, Grief, Toxic relationship, Sexism, Death of parent, and Physical abuse
Minor: Islamophobia
sarasreading's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
hopeful
reflective
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.5
This book gave me so many intense feelings. I felt like I was in the arguments she had. When someone would say something awful and/or gaslight-y to her, I often had a retort in my head that she then said. I felt like I was by her side her every step of the way. While I don't know at all what it's like to be in her shoes racially or culturally, I've been in a surface level relationship with no emotional depth. You spend so much time begging for connection, not getting it, and then being told you should just stop being sad about the relationship, to get over it and be happy instead. I was fuming on her behalf.
There was so much gaslighting and past trauma, and it was so emotionally satisfying to see her begin to work through things, become a healthier person, recognize what she was constantly being put through, and then start making healing changes. Rum does such an amazing job at making me feel intimately connected to her main characters. They feel so real and alive, and make me want to physically fight anyone treating them badly.
There was so much gaslighting and past trauma, and it was so emotionally satisfying to see her begin to work through things, become a healthier person, recognize what she was constantly being put through, and then start making healing changes.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Emotional abuse, Gaslighting, Domestic abuse, and Misogyny
Moderate: Death of parent, Suicidal thoughts, and Colonisation
warlocksarecool21's review against another edition
challenging
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
sad
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
Evil Eye is a profound story about family, trauma and healing. We follow Yara, a Palestinian-American woman as she confronts her childhood and the idea that she may be cursed by it, the same thing that plagued her mother. With this heartbreaking metaphor for mental illness and generational trauma, this book explores how someone can be impacted by these things but not defined by them.
I thought the format of the story was really interesting too using the journal entries to show her cherished memories of her grandmother in Palestine alongside the scenes of her traumatic childhood. Every one of her journal entries helped me to understand her character a little more and how deeply the abuse her mother faced impacted both of them.
I listened to the audiobook version and it was moving and immersive, I felt like I was in Yara’s head. Even though I don’t share her particular situation, I related so much to her anxiety and the strained relationship she had with her mother. The writing is beautiful and resonant, and you really get to see Yara as she fully is, a person with flaws yes, but also someone with wishes and dreams no matter what anyone else wants from her.
I really enjoyed seeing her go through the healing process and begin to question how her past formed who she is and if she’s really content with the stagnant marriage she is in.
Watching her really accept that she needed help and actively try to heal was really impactful to me. It made me really happy when she started to realized that she deserved more than this marriage and that she wanted better than Fadi.
Throughout the book, my heart broke for her every time she ended up in a fight with Fadi. While on the surface he seems like the ideal husband supporting his family, the cultural and familial expectations really weigh on him and you can see how it affects him through how he treats Yara. While he wasn’t physically abusive, he was so frustrating because he never made an effort to understand her and dismissed her emotional needs. He was so stuck in his perception of what life is supposed to be like that any attempt by Yara to question it made him defensive and condescending, as if Yara didn’t understand the “real world.” In this way, we get to see how the patriarchy impacts everyone and no one is free while under this system.
This book definitely made me more aware of my own anxieties and feelings, and made me think about my own relationship with my mother. It also really made me think about how patriarchal systems affect everyone. Particularly how distant and misunderstood women may feel having to do all this emotional and physical labor as wives and mothers and being told their dreams are foolish and unattainable. Evil Eye is such a poignant book and everyone should read it.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Emotional abuse and Mental illness
Moderate: Death of parent, Domestic abuse, and Gaslighting
Minor: Islamophobia and Racism
hdennis799's review against another edition
dark
emotional
inspiring
mysterious
reflective
tense
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.25
Content Warnings
Graphic: Gaslighting, Death of parent, Domestic abuse, Racial slurs, Suicidal thoughts, Toxic relationship, Emotional abuse, Islamophobia, Panic attacks/disorders, Grief, Mental illness, and Racism
nonfictionfeminist's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
sad
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
5.0
Another excellent story from Rum. This one felt slow and heavy, and it felt as though Rum was forcing me to slow down, take my time, savor it, study it. I found myself rereading sentences, not because I didn't understand them, but because I needed to pause, picture them, take them in and sit with them for a minute. This may just be my favorite book of 2023.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Mental illness, Emotional abuse, Misogyny, Physical abuse, and Sexism
Moderate: Child abuse, Death of parent, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Colonisation, Gaslighting, Panic attacks/disorders, Racism, Toxic relationship, and Suicidal thoughts
youshouldreadthisif's review against another edition
emotional
reflective
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.5
Content Warnings
Graphic: Physical abuse, Domestic abuse, and Gaslighting
Moderate: Racism
Minor: Suicidal thoughts
rarasreads's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
hopeful
reflective
sad
tense
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.0
While I enjoyed the character growth and mostly the last 20% of the book, some of the dialogue and plot points were far too repetitive. I first noticed this when reading No Woman is a Man but it was more so evident in Etaf Rum’s latest release. The messaging felt too forced at times and the story started to drag a bit. However, I still commend the author’s prose and focus on experiences of Palestinian women.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Violence, Gaslighting, and Physical abuse
louiepotterbook's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
informative
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Confinement, Death of parent, Death, Misogyny, Colonisation, Emotional abuse, Child abuse, Domestic abuse, Gaslighting, Grief, Suicidal thoughts, and Mental illness