Reviews

She Deserves Better: Raising Girls to Resist Toxic Teachings on Sex, Self, and Speaking Up by Rebecca Gregoire Lindenbach, Sheila Wray Gregoire, Joanna Sawatsky

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oliviajh's review against another edition

5.0

I only stopped reading to sleep, and even that was up for debate. You must read this book.

I have always said that I am someone that has grown-up “Purity Culture Adjacent” Purity Culture was not present in our home, but it was certainly present in the culture of my friends and the groups I was in. I had a balanced, biblical, consent and autonomy based sex education, but I was the outlier and the anomaly among my peers. And even though Purity Culture wasn’t in our home doesn’t mean I got out of my teen and early adult years unscathed. I have my own hurt & traumas as a result of the traditional purity culture teachings of evangelical culture and “theology” in the west. It has been a painful and humbling experience to listen to the stories of so many friends, mentors, and women that
have been harmed over and over again by these teachings.

This is the teaching I’d wish my best friends, sisters in Christ, and strangers in the grocery store had been given. This is the teaching I’d hope to give, should I ever have children.

This book, among others, gives me genuine hope for the future generations of girls and women. THIS is the teaching every girl should have, and DESERVES, to have.

feelingfrazzled's review against another edition

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challenging funny hopeful informative inspiring reflective sad medium-paced

5.0

sydneyasommer's review against another edition

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4.0

This book was great. As a Christian in school to be a therapist, and as a female negatively affected by the topics tackled in this book, I thought it was very valuable. I am not a mother myself, but I think mothers with daughters should read this, or any adult women who want to heal that hurt little girl inside of them. Highly recommend!!!

mastermind_shhhitsasecret's review against another edition

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5.0

This book is a MUST read! Highly impactful helping teach young girls how to respect themselves and learn how to set boundaries. Purity culture might not be as “accepted” or “taught” as highly today, the viewpoints and messages still infiltrate the way we speak. It has perpetrated our mindsets and self-esteem, in ways that seems insurmountable. The effects of this teaching stretch farther than we could even imagine. Sheila, Rebecca and Joanna do a wonderful job laying out the internalized misogyny and laying out DATA proving why women who heard these messages have lower self-esteem and are more likely to marry an abuser. This should be something we are striving to unlearn for the next generation of young girls and teaching everyone that consent and respect matter! Although I don’t have kids, I purchased and read this to help love and re-parent myself in this area and the information is invaluable. Having language to identify and call out the toxic teachings is crucial to creating change. I encourage everyone to read this book to gain knowledge on how we can help others evaluate their viewpoints.

rclairel's review against another edition

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challenging informative reflective fast-paced

5.0

I didn't expect to read this book, much less love it. I've read plenty of books about purity culture and patriarchy already and have deconstructed the whole mess; I have no kids; and I have no idea if I'll ever go to a church again. But still, it was great. The authors pick apart purity culture and patriarchy from all angles: from the small daily, insidious comments and teachings to the headliner core beliefs - all the things piled on girls for years. They name what is wrong with them, point out how the teachings will affect girls negativity both in childhood and into adulthood, and offer an alternative, healthier message. This book says implicitly what others have implied or assumed that readers knew (one example: that saying to young girls that men may find their bodies distracting normalizes pedophilia!). This book is worth reading for anyone who has been or is still in church. Anyone. For those who grew up in purity culture, it's worth the read especially because of how the authors name every small teaching that hurt girls. Naming them is validating. And this is a pretty exhaustive list of them.
The authors do give more grace and credit to harmful authors whose books they quote or review - giving them the benefit of the doubt that they meant/mean no harm - than I think is good. And of course they're still in the church themselves and still think sex should be exclusive to marriage, etc. And the book is written for mothers and daughters, no mention of the boys or fathers. Some small drawbacks.