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bookishmillennial's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
funny
reflective
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
disclaimer: I don’t really give starred reviews. I hope my reviews provide enough information to let you know if a book is for you or not. Find me here: https://linktr.ee/bookishmillennial
I adored this contemporary YA novel about Darius!!! Teenage Darius goes on a trip with his parents to Iran, where his maternal grandparents live, and he feels a bit like he does at home too, which is a bummer because he feels like he doesn't really *belong* anywhere. He feels ostracized at school in the U.S. because of his ethnicity and many people bully him, but in Iran, he feels a bit like he's not Iranian enough. His family in Iran tries to be as welcoming as possible, but there are some cultural cues that get lost in translation, as Darius feels in between two cultures as a first-generation kid.
Darius has also struggled with his relationship with his white dad, who seemingly fits in great with his Iranian side of the family, much to Darius's dismay and confusion. Darius takes medication for his clinical depression, which his Iranian family also doesn't fully understand. At least Darius has his younger sister Laleh, who enjoys sci-fi and spending time with him too. Darius meets a friend in Iran, Sohrab, who makes Darius feel the most welcome and as if he "fits" than ever before!
Darius and Sohrab's friendship was so incredibly wholesome! They play soccer, talk about everything under the sun, including things Darius and Sohrab haven't discussed with anyone else really. Their conversation flowed freely, their walls came down, and both of them invited the other to be brave in acting as their authentic selves. It is such a unique feeling to "find your person," whether that's someone who is your chosen family or a romantic partner, and I loved watching their friendship develop so naturally and seamlessly.
Besides their friendship, the main standout to me was Darius's relationship with his dad, who he often referred to in his own inner thoughts as his first as last name(which is escaping me right now, I'm sorry!). So many of Darius's insecurities, fears, and exhaustion stemmed from the ebbs and flows of his relationship with his dad. His dad is not a perfect character, meaning he is *not* a perfect parent (who is?), but I really appreciated the conversation they had towards the end. It is such a beautifully raw moment, where both men courageously share their vulnerabilities, especially Darius's dad.
I felt this was only confirmation that we owe it to each other and our relationships to try to be vulnerable more often, rather than putting on the facade that everything is just dandy, *especially* for cisgender men in American society. There is so much pressure for them to keep it all together, and I wonder how much more compassionate and open the world could be if only we encouraged and empowered more cismen to be softer. I know many people already do, but I can't deny the perpetual harmful messaging I hear in my own family, workplace, media and friends groups that men need to be tough, hard, and unfeeling in order to be perceived as strong and worthy. I hope that with more and more media representation like this, that we can slowly make that problematic dominant narrative obsolete. It won't only help cismen, it'll help everyone around them too.
Quotations that stood out to me:
I adored this contemporary YA novel about Darius!!! Teenage Darius goes on a trip with his parents to Iran, where his maternal grandparents live, and he feels a bit like he does at home too, which is a bummer because he feels like he doesn't really *belong* anywhere. He feels ostracized at school in the U.S. because of his ethnicity and many people bully him, but in Iran, he feels a bit like he's not Iranian enough. His family in Iran tries to be as welcoming as possible, but there are some cultural cues that get lost in translation, as Darius feels in between two cultures as a first-generation kid.
Darius has also struggled with his relationship with his white dad, who seemingly fits in great with his Iranian side of the family, much to Darius's dismay and confusion. Darius takes medication for his clinical depression, which his Iranian family also doesn't fully understand. At least Darius has his younger sister Laleh, who enjoys sci-fi and spending time with him too. Darius meets a friend in Iran, Sohrab, who makes Darius feel the most welcome and as if he "fits" than ever before!
Darius and Sohrab's friendship was so incredibly wholesome! They play soccer, talk about everything under the sun, including things Darius and Sohrab haven't discussed with anyone else really. Their conversation flowed freely, their walls came down, and both of them invited the other to be brave in acting as their authentic selves. It is such a unique feeling to "find your person," whether that's someone who is your chosen family or a romantic partner, and I loved watching their friendship develop so naturally and seamlessly.
Besides their friendship, the main standout to me was Darius's relationship with his dad, who he often referred to in his own inner thoughts as his first as last name(which is escaping me right now, I'm sorry!). So many of Darius's insecurities, fears, and exhaustion stemmed from the ebbs and flows of his relationship with his dad. His dad is not a perfect character, meaning he is *not* a perfect parent (who is?), but I really appreciated the conversation they had towards the end. It is such a beautifully raw moment, where both men courageously share their vulnerabilities, especially Darius's dad.
I felt this was only confirmation that we owe it to each other and our relationships to try to be vulnerable more often, rather than putting on the facade that everything is just dandy, *especially* for cisgender men in American society. There is so much pressure for them to keep it all together, and I wonder how much more compassionate and open the world could be if only we encouraged and empowered more cismen to be softer. I know many people already do, but I can't deny the perpetual harmful messaging I hear in my own family, workplace, media and friends groups that men need to be tough, hard, and unfeeling in order to be perceived as strong and worthy. I hope that with more and more media representation like this, that we can slowly make that problematic dominant narrative obsolete. It won't only help cismen, it'll help everyone around them too.
Quotations that stood out to me:
“Mom always said she named me after Darius the Great, but I think she and Dad were setting themselves up for the disappointment, naming me after a historical figure like that. I was many things - D-Hole, D-Wad, D's Nuts - but I was definitely not great.”
“Everyone wants you here. We have a saying in Farsi. It translates ‘your place was empty.’ We say it when we miss somebody...Your place was empty before. But this is your family. You belong here.”
“You don’t care what anyone thinks. You know?”
My ears burned. “I care what everyone thinks, Sohrab.”
“No you don’t. Not really. You don’t try to change yourself. You know who you are.” He bumped shoulders with me. “I wish I was like that. I always try to be what my mom needs. What my amou needs. What you need. But you are the opposite. You are happy with who you are.”
I shook my head. “I don’t think that’s really me. You’ve never seen what it’s like back home. How everyone treats me.”
“They don’t know you, Darioush.” Sohrab grabbed my shoulder. “I wish you could see yourself the way I see you.”
“I wish you could see yourself too.” I swallowed. “You’re the only person who never wanted me to change.”
“The silence between us hung heavy with all the things we couldn’t say. All the things we knew without them being said out loud.”
“It was a nice kind of quiet. The kind you could wrap yourself up in like a blanket.”
“Another thing I knew:
I knew my sister, Laleh, wasn't an accident.
Many people thought so, because she was eight years younger than me, and my parents weren't "trying for another child," which is kind of gross if you think about it. But she wasn't an accident.
She was a replacement. An upgrade. I knew that without anyone saying it out loud.
And I knew Stephen Kellner was relieved to have another chance, a new child who wouldn't be such a disappointment. It was written across his face every time he smiled at her. Every time he sighed at me.
I didn't blame Laleh for that.
I really didn't.
But sometimes I wondered if I was the one who was an accident.
That's normal.
Right?”
“You can know things without them being said out loud. I knew Sohrab and I were going to be friends for life. Sometimes you can just tell that kind of thing.”
“I felt so helpless. Sohrab was hurting and there was nothing I could do. Nothing except sit there and be his friend. But maybe that was enough. Because Sohrab knew it was okay to cry in front of me. He knew I wouldn't tell him not to have feelings. He felt safe with me.”
Content Warnings
Graphic: Suicidal thoughts, Grief, Mental illness, Abandonment, Bullying, Body shaming, Racism, Xenophobia, and Fatphobia
Minor: Death of parent
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