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sarahchoi's review against another edition
dark
emotional
sad
slow-paced
2.0
Found this depressing, and full of bad choices. Wished I could have found more hope at the end of the long tunnel of reading it. Was also wishing for more about Maine, but not really about that part of her life.
aecorsilva's review against another edition
hopeful
slow-paced
1.75
i really just wanted more from this book. it felt like it overshared constantly without ever really getting to any kind of depth or meaningful insight. idk, i don't like being mean about memoirs but i needed something more here.
(i will say, i hope the author has found a place of happiness and comfort within herself and her relationships with those around her, be they family or friends.)
(i will say, i hope the author has found a place of happiness and comfort within herself and her relationships with those around her, be they family or friends.)
liralen's review against another edition
3.0
Tomlinson's parents wanted something other than the daily grind. Her mother raised her in a farmhouse in Maine, but her father wasn't cut out for rural life, or maybe not cut out for a more typical stable life. He left and spent Tomlinson's childhood weaving in and out of her life. Her mother was the one offering the basic necessities, but her father was the one whose infrequent attention she craved.
The book doesn't stop in Tomlinson's childhood, though: it follows her through adulthood, still craving her father's attention but with a better understanding of who he was: I had mixed feelings about my dad's advice. When he advised me to emulate a woman who put aside her own needs to love a man who was exceptional, yes, but who was also clearly a selfish, narcissistic womanizer who was maybe a little crazy, I felt that my dad was telling me to love him, no matter how he had let me down or might do so again. And sometimes I resented this greatly, especially because the closer we became, the harder it was for me to understand how my father could have been capable of abandoning me so completely for all of those years. (253)
Or there's this: As I listened to him happily plan for just the kind of healthy, DIY life in the woods that he'd opted out of when I was a baby, I waited for the moment when he realized the irony of this, how sad it was that, thirty years too late, he finally wanted and felt capable of the choice that would have allowed us to remain a family. And then I realized he'd never get it. He was so used to thinking only of himself, that's how it'd always be. And so I would have to learn to think of myself first, too. (249)
That's growth that you don't get when somebody's looking only at their childhood. There aren't easy answers here. Mostly a lot of questions; sometimes a great deal of tragedy. It's not the core of the book, but Tomlinson survived a school shooting at Simon's Rock, and I found this passage so terribly awful: ...one of Wayne's friends called in an anonymous tip saying that Wayne had a gun and had said he was going to shoot the Kendrick RDs. Instead of intervening with Wayne immediately, the school let him attend a dorm meeting I'd been at, as had Galen. Wayne was then allowed to go back to his room, unsupervised. Meanwhile, the other adults in charge helped the Kendrick RDs evacuate with their small children, which was why, when Wayne started shooting, there were no adults in our dorm. (107) I know this was before schools had extensive safety plans and so on in place (i.e., before school shootings were so commonplace), but the irresponsibility here is staggering.
The breadth of the material makes the book feel a bit less tight than it might otherwise, if Tomlinson had stuck to a tighter time frame, but it's also so clear why she wouldn't want to do that.
One thing that stuck out to me, though. The acknowledgements section covers four pages, including her father, her stepfather, her extended family, her brother, her sister, 'all of those on the land', and then friends and mentors and so on. Four pages. But her mother's not in there. There are a lot of reasons that could be the case (printer error, editing error, her mother didn't want to be in the acknowledgements for whatever reason, they'd had a falling out...), and of course it's possible that I just missed the mention (though I did check multiple times), but it just...seemed really odd to acknowledge the father who wasn't present but not the mother who was. A puzzle!
Won in a firstreads giveaway. The book didn't arrive, so I read was a library copy (though the author graciously offered to send me a new one).
The book doesn't stop in Tomlinson's childhood, though: it follows her through adulthood, still craving her father's attention but with a better understanding of who he was: I had mixed feelings about my dad's advice. When he advised me to emulate a woman who put aside her own needs to love a man who was exceptional, yes, but who was also clearly a selfish, narcissistic womanizer who was maybe a little crazy, I felt that my dad was telling me to love him, no matter how he had let me down or might do so again. And sometimes I resented this greatly, especially because the closer we became, the harder it was for me to understand how my father could have been capable of abandoning me so completely for all of those years. (253)
Or there's this: As I listened to him happily plan for just the kind of healthy, DIY life in the woods that he'd opted out of when I was a baby, I waited for the moment when he realized the irony of this, how sad it was that, thirty years too late, he finally wanted and felt capable of the choice that would have allowed us to remain a family. And then I realized he'd never get it. He was so used to thinking only of himself, that's how it'd always be. And so I would have to learn to think of myself first, too. (249)
That's growth that you don't get when somebody's looking only at their childhood. There aren't easy answers here. Mostly a lot of questions; sometimes a great deal of tragedy. It's not the core of the book, but Tomlinson survived a school shooting at Simon's Rock, and I found this passage so terribly awful: ...one of Wayne's friends called in an anonymous tip saying that Wayne had a gun and had said he was going to shoot the Kendrick RDs. Instead of intervening with Wayne immediately, the school let him attend a dorm meeting I'd been at, as had Galen. Wayne was then allowed to go back to his room, unsupervised. Meanwhile, the other adults in charge helped the Kendrick RDs evacuate with their small children, which was why, when Wayne started shooting, there were no adults in our dorm. (107) I know this was before schools had extensive safety plans and so on in place (i.e., before school shootings were so commonplace), but the irresponsibility here is staggering.
The breadth of the material makes the book feel a bit less tight than it might otherwise, if Tomlinson had stuck to a tighter time frame, but it's also so clear why she wouldn't want to do that.
One thing that stuck out to me, though. The acknowledgements section covers four pages, including her father, her stepfather, her extended family, her brother, her sister, 'all of those on the land', and then friends and mentors and so on. Four pages. But her mother's not in there. There are a lot of reasons that could be the case (printer error, editing error, her mother didn't want to be in the acknowledgements for whatever reason, they'd had a falling out...), and of course it's possible that I just missed the mention (though I did check multiple times), but it just...seemed really odd to acknowledge the father who wasn't present but not the mother who was. A puzzle!
Won in a firstreads giveaway. The book didn't arrive, so I read was a library copy (though the author graciously offered to send me a new one).
yoongoongi's review against another edition
4.0
4 Stars!
I won a free copy of this book in exchange for an honest review thanks to the First Reads giveaway program.
I think this is the first memoir I have ever read and I really enjoyed it. It was good. Sarah lived an interesting life as a child, nothing at all like mine. My heart really felt for her when it came to her dad. He seemed like a jag off. I definitely would not have pined for his approval and affection the way that she did. I would've been like: "Well, screw you, good sir!"
Anywho, I would recommend this book to anyone looking for a relaxing read. Someone who's tired of thrillers and suspense.
I won a free copy of this book in exchange for an honest review thanks to the First Reads giveaway program.
I think this is the first memoir I have ever read and I really enjoyed it. It was good. Sarah lived an interesting life as a child, nothing at all like mine. My heart really felt for her when it came to her dad. He seemed like a jag off. I definitely would not have pined for his approval and affection the way that she did. I would've been like: "Well, screw you, good sir!"
Anywho, I would recommend this book to anyone looking for a relaxing read. Someone who's tired of thrillers and suspense.
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