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Reviews
The Art of Showing Up: How to Be There for Yourself and Your People by Rachel Wilkerson Miller
juaquin77's review against another edition
inspiring
slow-paced
3.5
Begins well, but after a while fets basic and repetitive.
omipotent's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
hopeful
informative
reflective
slow-paced
4.25
marieintheraw's review against another edition
2.0
I got more out of the Yourself half than the Your People half. Part of the problem is that a lot of the advice being given is not as universal as it tries to be and is definitely more towards the "so you've gotten yourself in a rut" audience.
cindypepper's review against another edition
4.0
A self-help book for modern times (yes, even in the pandemic -- which happened after RWM wrote this!), The Art of Showing Up is about cultivating and nurturing your relationships, starting with the relationship you have with yourself. Normally, self-help books can grind my gears, especially when they err on the side of preachy. This book strikes a nice balance between being overly prescriptive and vaguebooking; one thing that's noticeably refreshing about this book is its emphasis on friendships in the age of adulthood, and how it's so important to nurture and grow your friendships (as well as evaluating and not being afraid to cast a critical eye on your more toxic friendships), as these are relationships that we voluntarily enter and grow as adults. The learnings from The Art of Showing Up aren't tips and tricks I can immediately apply (though the book does leave ample room to talk about effective allyship!), but I do look forward to applying those tweaks and changes into my life to be that much more present.
stephaniepc's review against another edition
a stressful life situation came up and it became too much work.
klabardee's review against another edition
challenging
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
5.0
dorhastings's review against another edition
funny
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
4.25
How this book ended up on my TBR: Anne Helen Petersen referenced this book recently in her newsletter, and my friend Deanna and I briefly discussed it. I was between audiobooks from the library, and I thought I'd pick this up!
Confession: Sometimes, if I'm not entirely digging a book (especially an audiobook), I start to think about what rating I would give it and why, all whilst still listening to the audiobook. That's not a great sign, and yet, I rated this book rather highly.
The idea behind the book is relatively simple. Rachel Wilkerson Miller is a journalist, and her argument is that a person cannot show up properly for their friends (and community) without showing up for themself. The first half of the book is essentially self-care, recognizing your boundaries, finding out what you care about. The second half is how to cultivate your community. Some reviews have called Miller's advice sort of simplistic (appropriate for young adults), but that doesn't make her work any less valid. Miller herself mentions a process that she had to go through when her marriage ended; she had to go through some self-discovery to see what really mattered to her.
I think the self-discovery portion of the book is for anyone who goes through a life change. I found this section personally relevant because I've 1.) recently made a really big move, and 2.) I am forever trying to downgrade the time- and energy-suck that is my work. I've gone through at least two breakdowns, in part because I know I always default to doing more work, and also because I just don't know what to do with myself when not working. (Well, it was more that I don't have a local community I can visit separate from my partner.) I'm in a position now where it's useful for me to really think: how do I want to spend my time? What's important to me? What will help me feel fulfilled?
The second part of this book is useful for anyone who has had any sort of difficulty with past/current relationships, especially friendships. For me, this connects with the first part because I want to prioritize my friendships. But what does that look like? Some of Miller's suggestions feel a little odd to me, but personally, it helped me to remind myself that I value my friendships and that I want the best for my friends. I will complain left and right about this wedding I agreed to be in. But then I felt bad about it, because I did agree to be in the wedding and could have said no, so I really need to just suck it up and accept my decision and be there for my friend. Another time, I was talking with a friend about some difficulties she's been experiencing, and it was on the tip of my tongue to say "you know I'm here for you, right?" But 1.) she was literally talking to me about it, and 2.) her comment wasn't about me. It was about her seeking services to provide her with what she needed. So instead of just thoughtlessly making a comment, I tried to listen and told her how proud I was that she was advocating for herself.
So yes, I found this book helpful. I didn't always love Miller's tone (some of the language just kind of rubbed me the wrong way). And the audiobook narrator was Robin Eller. She was okay, if a bit high pitched, which did not increase my liking for the book. I feel mean for saying that.
Confession: Sometimes, if I'm not entirely digging a book (especially an audiobook), I start to think about what rating I would give it and why, all whilst still listening to the audiobook. That's not a great sign, and yet, I rated this book rather highly.
The idea behind the book is relatively simple. Rachel Wilkerson Miller is a journalist, and her argument is that a person cannot show up properly for their friends (and community) without showing up for themself. The first half of the book is essentially self-care, recognizing your boundaries, finding out what you care about. The second half is how to cultivate your community. Some reviews have called Miller's advice sort of simplistic (appropriate for young adults), but that doesn't make her work any less valid. Miller herself mentions a process that she had to go through when her marriage ended; she had to go through some self-discovery to see what really mattered to her.
I think the self-discovery portion of the book is for anyone who goes through a life change. I found this section personally relevant because I've 1.) recently made a really big move, and 2.) I am forever trying to downgrade the time- and energy-suck that is my work. I've gone through at least two breakdowns, in part because I know I always default to doing more work, and also because I just don't know what to do with myself when not working. (Well, it was more that I don't have a local community I can visit separate from my partner.) I'm in a position now where it's useful for me to really think: how do I want to spend my time? What's important to me? What will help me feel fulfilled?
The second part of this book is useful for anyone who has had any sort of difficulty with past/current relationships, especially friendships. For me, this connects with the first part because I want to prioritize my friendships. But what does that look like? Some of Miller's suggestions feel a little odd to me, but personally, it helped me to remind myself that I value my friendships and that I want the best for my friends. I will complain left and right about this wedding I agreed to be in. But then I felt bad about it, because I did agree to be in the wedding and could have said no, so I really need to just suck it up and accept my decision and be there for my friend. Another time, I was talking with a friend about some difficulties she's been experiencing, and it was on the tip of my tongue to say "you know I'm here for you, right?" But 1.) she was literally talking to me about it, and 2.) her comment wasn't about me. It was about her seeking services to provide her with what she needed. So instead of just thoughtlessly making a comment, I tried to listen and told her how proud I was that she was advocating for herself.
So yes, I found this book helpful. I didn't always love Miller's tone (some of the language just kind of rubbed me the wrong way). And the audiobook narrator was Robin Eller. She was okay, if a bit high pitched, which did not increase my liking for the book. I feel mean for saying that.
artist_lace's review against another edition
challenging
informative
inspiring
medium-paced
4.0
This book is just as much about showing up for yourself as showing up for others. I found many of the self-focused exercises thought provoking and useful, and there were parts of the book that cover areas of life I didn’t feel the need to focus on personally. Other sections were filled with practical advice on setting boundaries, compassionately navigating your relationships, and practicing body neutrality (which is a brand-new concept for me). If you want to spend some time getting to know yourself better, or meaningfully set intentions on how you interact with your people and focus your priorities, this is a great place to start.