This is a must-read for everyone, whether single or married. A very eye opening, scripture based, and telling book (including the Keller's own experiences through marriage) that has drastically changed how I view marriage. It provides clarity and depth into examining our own character and seeing how much one fails in truly loving the other spouse with the kind of love that God intended.

Such a phenomenal book that I have recommended to everyone I know (and have purchased it for friends as well).
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I had a tough time with this one. I usually savour/devour Keller's writings but this one seemed kind of drony to me.

I read it with my fiance, now husband to prepare for our wedding. Keller writes both eloquently and intelligently and the book provided many points of discussion for us. We used one of our favorite quotes in the wedding program. I highly recommend this book!



An absolute must read for people who are married or hope one day to be.
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Even though the Kellers say that The Meaning of Marriage is a book for all people, it is principally a book for Christians that are currently married or possibly on the precipice. The book primarily reads like a (very long) series of marriage counseling sessions. My primary problem, however, was that there was just so much fluff! The Meaning of Marriage easily could have been 40% shorter and would have been much more potent and enjoyable. Further, as a scientist, I did not like the way the Tim chose to cite some studies, but not others (for instance, he insists that the data shows that moving in before marriage increases the chance of divorce; however, if you actually look into the data, those that move in together after they are engaged see no such increase in divorces. Therefore, it is a false dichotomy to simply say that moving in with each other before getting married worsens the marriage. For more on this, see The Defining Decade by Meg Jay). Also, a minor gripe, but Tim and Kathy say that this book would be helpful for non-Christian married couples, but I'm not so sure about that. The premise of this book is that Christ (and His relationship(s) with both the Church and our Father) is a model and the centerpiece for what marriage ought to be. Therefore, if someone does not believe in Jesus, many of the points in this book would be moot.

Despite my qualms with The Meaning of Marriage, I think it is an unfortunately necessary prerequisite of sorts for Christians that would like to have a successful marriage. Yet, I would say that for a single person like myself, the order of reading the chapters ought to be rearranged. Start with chapter one (duh), then skip directly to the chapter on Singleness and Marriage (seven). Then move onto chapters three, four, and two to learn the definitions and descriptions of a healthy marriage. The chapter on Sex and Marriage (eight) can be read either before or after 2-4. After this, read chapters five and six to learn more about how the opposite gender is not like you, and how you ought to navigate that within a marriage.
With this shuffling of the chapters, a reduction of the length of the book by at least 25%, a more thorough description of what the scientific literature says, I would upgrade the score of this book beyond my 3.2/5 stars.

As I was nearing the 1-year mark with my girlfriend, I thought it might be beneficial to read Timothy Keller's "The meaning of Marriage: Facing the complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of God"
Keller is a Presbyterian Pastor who authored the book with his wife. From my perspective of having been raised Christian, but not particularly practicing much of anything, I found the book to be OK, but not anything that revolutionized the way I thought about marriage.

The material of the book came about as a set of sermons delivered by Keller to his Manhattan (NY) congregation. And overall the book felt very much like that... a series of sermons. It relied very heavily on scripture and theology. I was surprised how few modern-day examples and real-life stories the book drew from. There were a few tales of Keller's own marriage, but most everything related to the bible, not the present-day-example-based ideas that other books are chock full of (see "The Art of Gathering").

If I had to choose a title for this book, it would be, "The meaning of the Bible: as it relates to marriage" instead of "The Meaning of Marriage". Keller does a great job dissecting all the Bible's greatest hits on marriage and explaining what they really mean. For example, "Wives, submit to your husbands." If you think you know what that means, Keller's going to surprise you.

Overall, I found the big takeaway from this book is that Christianity is all about loving God and Christ and trying to follow Christ's example and love God and each other the way he did. If you can do all this and be a great Christian, then you will be in a good position to have a successful marriage.

Keller wrote this book with his wife. One of the chapters was primarily written by her. So, there are some very feminist and equality-in-marriage ideas going on here. I also thought the parts about your partner changing over time (before and after kids) and continually learning to love your spouse were very relevant. Keller includes a bit on the 5 love languages which was good. There is some history about dating and perspective on how to go about that.

I particularly enjoyed the section about being single (it's OK to be single... it's not like you're an unworthy half-person). So, if you're single, newly married, longly married, in a rut, or looking for more, I'd recommend this book to anybody who wants a very Christian and Biblically grounded take on things. And there is a chapter on sex, so it's definitely not all boring!

Early in the book, there is a part that deals with an elephant in the room: gay marriage. It's a short section that concludes the Bible is clearly against gay marriage and that it will never be as fulfilling as a heterosexual marriage. So, I would not recommend this book to any same-sex couples.

veradewit's review

4.25
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