Scan barcode
syownnn's review
emotional
hopeful
inspiring
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
Content Warnings
I love this book, its one of the first books i really felt the feelings of the characters yk? Rowan and Shoshana are such great written out characters and the way the author changes between their perspectives is so alluring to read more and more. The characters in the books are so well written too, not just the main two, Rowan and Shoshana, but Sophie, Donna, even Nurse Hart. They’re all such great characters who you end up really liking throughout the book. Honestly, I dont think theres anyway I can express how much this book meant to me, the feelings I felt while reading im just like /?!/?:!/!! 10/10 I would so recommend this for anyone who has recovered from an ed/or who currently is, the hope the books gives is amazing. just, read it if you arent triggered by the topic and trust me, you wont regret it.
lwalker13's review
emotional
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
5.0
this was a beautiful, gut wrenching, and impactful piece of art. parts of it hit a little too close to home, but i genuinely think this is a book that i was meant to read. the author is extremely talented and i will be looking out for her other work. thank you for this story
7vn's review
challenging
dark
emotional
reflective
sad
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.75
j3mm4's review
emotional
funny
hopeful
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.0
Before We Were Blue wants to subvert the genre expectations of the teen eating disorder novel, but in trying to balance grimly reflecting the realities of EDs and ED treatment with minimizing triggers and responsibly telling that story to keep young readers safe from triggers and post-read relapses, it falls a little flat.
It opens with a trigger warning letter for not only the central topic of eating disorders, specifically anorexia but tangentially others, but also for dark humor as a coping mechanism and sexual assault. This is a wise, ethical choice, especially when backed up by a carefully weight-free narration (despite patients being allowed to look at scales) and a respectful if mildly graphic depiction of not only rape but also the more quotidian sexual assaults girls grow up being told are normal (boys physically attacking girls "because they like them," boys forcing kisses on girls they have crushes on), but other than the first few chapters and one climactic moment, the humor isn't all that dark. I actually really liked the dark humor, too; it felt authentic to both the experience of Gen Z and of eating disorders. I specifically wrote down in my notes that its presence would be a good bridge for readers' between a recognizable disordered voice and a perhaps unrecognizable healthy one, and while enough was happening that I didn't precisely miss it when it was gone, as the novel steered with clenched fists towards a happy ending, its absence made that resolution ring a little hollower than it needed to.
Shoshana and Rowan's voices were clearly distinct, not only because of Shoshana's first person POV and Rowan's second person address to Shoshana, but also because of their senses of humor, their syntax, their personality. There's some really great character work in here; it's made very clear what kind of thinking, what kind of root, each girls' ED has and therefore where their respective relapse and recovery must come from, and those early hints pan out almost exactly as expected.
The pace is a little wonky, especially in the back half; time moves in fits and starts which aren't totally unbelievable for time spent in a treatment facility, but which also eat into time spent in Rowan's transition between commitment to her disorder and commitment to recovery, leaving that shift a little more abstract than necessary. The pacing problem of the back end is also exacerbated by, and exacerbates in turn, what felt to me like a lack of narrative tension. I'll admit that my experience with ED YA was mostly 2000s/2010s, when there was a lawless Wild West attitude towards the ethics and health implications of those books for their readers, and that colored by perceptions and expectations, but even in those books, very rarely does a POV character die; usually, if she does, she's the one who's more "damaged" and who tried to make the other character worse. So when I started seeing lines that felt like foreshadowing of a death, and when I started seeing that foreshadowing tie itself to the "less damaged" character, Shoshana, with the implication that the codependent doubling and projection laid over Shoshana by Rowan would lead to Rowan taking Shoshana's death as catalyst to finally recover, I was kind of excited for that subversion. It wasn't that I didn't love Shoshana, but she was written with such a clear externalized locus of disorderly thought in both social desires and moral constructs, such approachably "rational" and "logical" structures to those thoughts, that it seemed entirely plausible that her longing for the social in-group of Gray and of the cheer world and her ability to imitate and appeal to the logic of the treatment team would be the end of her, and having just come off two weeks working with older teens and seeing firsthand just how dark and tragic they like their storytelling, that felt like an ending that would appeal to and stick with the book's target audience. And then she relapses almost entirely off-screen, to hide the most triggering behaviors from the reader, and gets remanded to RR in the Gray ward again, and has a whole breakdown about it that Rowan uses her newfound calm and commitment (which, again because of the pacing, feel kind of unearned) to talk her out of it, and we don't see her POV past that point. We get an epilogue from Rowan's POV waiting for Shoshana, freshly out of RR a year later, to call her so they can try to be friends who connect over healthy topics rather than a diagnosis, and that's it. It's not an irresponsible or wholly inaccurate ending - people relapse, friendships made in treatment often don't last into recovery if you can't find new points of connection - and the pattern of POV switches isn't broken to make the ending happen through who it does, but it's not satisfying. Rowan's new mindset is almost alien in how suddenly she accomplishes that reversal, and Shoshana not dying somehow makes her <i>less</i> impactful on and present in the story's ending.
It's a technically proficient book. The characters are well-constructed, the issues are thoughtfully and respectfully tackled, it's not without compelling imagery or subtext or symbolism. It just gets in its own way.
It opens with a trigger warning letter for not only the central topic of eating disorders, specifically anorexia but tangentially others, but also for dark humor as a coping mechanism and sexual assault. This is a wise, ethical choice, especially when backed up by a carefully weight-free narration (despite patients being allowed to look at scales) and a respectful if mildly graphic depiction of not only rape but also the more quotidian sexual assaults girls grow up being told are normal (boys physically attacking girls "because they like them," boys forcing kisses on girls they have crushes on), but other than the first few chapters and one climactic moment, the humor isn't all that dark. I actually really liked the dark humor, too; it felt authentic to both the experience of Gen Z and of eating disorders. I specifically wrote down in my notes that its presence would be a good bridge for readers' between a recognizable disordered voice and a perhaps unrecognizable healthy one, and while enough was happening that I didn't precisely miss it when it was gone, as the novel steered with clenched fists towards a happy ending, its absence made that resolution ring a little hollower than it needed to.
Shoshana and Rowan's voices were clearly distinct, not only because of Shoshana's first person POV and Rowan's second person address to Shoshana, but also because of their senses of humor, their syntax, their personality. There's some really great character work in here; it's made very clear what kind of thinking, what kind of root, each girls' ED has and therefore where their respective relapse and recovery must come from, and those early hints pan out almost exactly as expected.
The pace is a little wonky, especially in the back half; time moves in fits and starts which aren't totally unbelievable for time spent in a treatment facility, but which also eat into time spent in Rowan's transition between commitment to her disorder and commitment to recovery, leaving that shift a little more abstract than necessary. The pacing problem of the back end is also exacerbated by, and exacerbates in turn, what felt to me like a lack of narrative tension. I'll admit that my experience with ED YA was mostly 2000s/2010s, when there was a lawless Wild West attitude towards the ethics and health implications of those books for their readers, and that colored by perceptions and expectations, but even in those books, very rarely does a POV character die; usually, if she does, she's the one who's more "damaged" and who tried to make the other character worse. So when I started seeing lines that felt like foreshadowing of a death, and when I started seeing that foreshadowing tie itself to the "less damaged" character, Shoshana, with the implication that the codependent doubling and projection laid over Shoshana by Rowan would lead to Rowan taking Shoshana's death as catalyst to finally recover, I was kind of excited for that subversion. It wasn't that I didn't love Shoshana, but she was written with such a clear externalized locus of disorderly thought in both social desires and moral constructs, such approachably "rational" and "logical" structures to those thoughts, that it seemed entirely plausible that her longing for the social in-group of Gray and of the cheer world and her ability to imitate and appeal to the logic of the treatment team would be the end of her, and having just come off two weeks working with older teens and seeing firsthand just how dark and tragic they like their storytelling, that felt like an ending that would appeal to and stick with the book's target audience. And then she relapses almost entirely off-screen, to hide the most triggering behaviors from the reader, and gets remanded to RR in the Gray ward again, and has a whole breakdown about it that Rowan uses her newfound calm and commitment (which, again because of the pacing, feel kind of unearned) to talk her out of it, and we don't see her POV past that point. We get an epilogue from Rowan's POV waiting for Shoshana, freshly out of RR a year later, to call her so they can try to be friends who connect over healthy topics rather than a diagnosis, and that's it. It's not an irresponsible or wholly inaccurate ending - people relapse, friendships made in treatment often don't last into recovery if you can't find new points of connection - and the pattern of POV switches isn't broken to make the ending happen through who it does, but it's not satisfying. Rowan's new mindset is almost alien in how suddenly she accomplishes that reversal, and Shoshana not dying somehow makes her <i>less</i> impactful on and present in the story's ending.
It's a technically proficient book. The characters are well-constructed, the issues are thoughtfully and respectfully tackled, it's not without compelling imagery or subtext or symbolism. It just gets in its own way.
kookie9200's review
4.0
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for allowing me to review this book.
Rowan and Shoshanna are both Gray girls at a rehab facility for eating disorders. They know how to get out of the facility...go from Gray to Blue, and then home. The girls are close, almost too close as they try to fight the inner demons that brought them to RR.
This book touches on several different things over the course of the story, and none of them are easy. Eating disorders, depression, anxiety, social media, fame, and sexual assault are just a few of those things. The subject matter is heavy and ever present, but it's presented in a way that isn't too heavy or hard to read.
Rowan and Shoshanna are both Gray girls at a rehab facility for eating disorders. They know how to get out of the facility...go from Gray to Blue, and then home. The girls are close, almost too close as they try to fight the inner demons that brought them to RR.
This book touches on several different things over the course of the story, and none of them are easy. Eating disorders, depression, anxiety, social media, fame, and sexual assault are just a few of those things. The subject matter is heavy and ever present, but it's presented in a way that isn't too heavy or hard to read.
lucilleowen's review
dark
emotional
funny
inspiring
sad
tense
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.5
Content Warnings
Graphic: Emotional abuse, Body shaming, Sexual assault, Self harm, Eating disorder, Child abuse, Rape, and Dysphoria
caseyjayner's review against another edition
5.0
If you're a person who is triggered by ED material, stay away. But everyone else- forget all the other ED books you've heard of where every character is self-absorbed and self-loathing and they try to convey what an eating disorder is like by writing inner monologues which just make them look even more self-absorbed.... THIS book is different!!! Thank goodness.
First, the characters are fully formed - they have interests outside their eating disorders, they have different opinions on their illnesses and on recovery and they bond and form opinions and relationships like anyone else. Second, this book conveys the strange world of inpatient treatment as it often is - clicky and weird with specific rules and games and clics, interesting personalities and stupid projects. Lastlly, this book has true literary themes that don't rely on the mental illness component - love, sexuality, inspiration, friendship, religion & reality are all dealt with through the narration of two different people perceiving themselves, eachother, and the world around them.
Full disclosure - I had anorexia and was hospitalized for it and I've never read a fictional or nonfiction ED book that was such a pleasure to read, but I might rate this higher than if it didn't deal with mental-illness simply because it stands out within that genre. That's not a bad thing - I think its a necessary addition to the genre and shows that the mental illness aspect was meaningful to the book as the book was meaningful to the genre.
First, the characters are fully formed - they have interests outside their eating disorders, they have different opinions on their illnesses and on recovery and they bond and form opinions and relationships like anyone else. Second, this book conveys the strange world of inpatient treatment as it often is - clicky and weird with specific rules and games and clics, interesting personalities and stupid projects. Lastlly, this book has true literary themes that don't rely on the mental illness component - love, sexuality, inspiration, friendship, religion & reality are all dealt with through the narration of two different people perceiving themselves, eachother, and the world around them.
Full disclosure - I had anorexia and was hospitalized for it and I've never read a fictional or nonfiction ED book that was such a pleasure to read, but I might rate this higher than if it didn't deal with mental-illness simply because it stands out within that genre. That's not a bad thing - I think its a necessary addition to the genre and shows that the mental illness aspect was meaningful to the book as the book was meaningful to the genre.
kalynwebb's review against another edition
emotional
sad
tense
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.5
Content Warnings
Graphic: Eating disorder
danyels_denouements's review against another edition
dark
emotional
hopeful
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.25
A difficult book to read but very well done. Realistic look at eating disorders and the impacts they have on lives.
I did not expect Rowan and Shoshana's lives to have their intersecting point and then change expected endings. As a reader I felt like Rowan's recovery felt a bit more rushed as we don't get her perspective as often but still a very well written book for the author's debut.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Eating disorder and Mental illness
Moderate: Suicidal thoughts and Antisemitism
Minor: Acephobia/Arophobia and Toxic friendship
kian_annus's review
dark
emotional
informative
sad
tense
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Plot
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
2.75