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3.71 AVERAGE
3.71 AVERAGE
challenging
emotional
hopeful
inspiring
medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Yes
adventurous
funny
lighthearted
medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Complicated
Loveable characters:
Yes
Diverse cast of characters:
No
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
Olen lukenut Bournelta aikaisemmin vain YA-osastoa ja pidin suuresti (Niin käy vain elokuvissa oli ihana). Piti siis kokeilla, miten aikuisempi materiaali toimii. Ihan yhtä ihana tämä ei ollut, mutta joo, kolmikymppisten murheet ovat samaistuttavampia. Ei nyt kovin omakohtaisesti sentään: olen huomattavasti Toria onnellisempi parisuhteessani, lapsetkin on jo hankittu ja kirjailijana olen aika kaukana Torin myyntiluvuista – minun kirjailijanmaineellani ei paljon TED-puheita pidellä.
Mutta oivallinen kirja, hyvää viihdettä ja monille lukijoille varmasti aivan hyödyllistä tsemppiä omaan elämään, jos kitkuttelee samanlaisessa tilanteessa. Loppu kääntyi onneksi parhain päin, tässä oli helppo olla Torin puolella ja toivoa parasta.
Mutta oivallinen kirja, hyvää viihdettä ja monille lukijoille varmasti aivan hyödyllistä tsemppiä omaan elämään, jos kitkuttelee samanlaisessa tilanteessa. Loppu kääntyi onneksi parhain päin, tässä oli helppo olla Torin puolella ja toivoa parasta.
emotional
funny
reflective
medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Complicated
Diverse cast of characters:
No
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
challenging
dark
emotional
funny
hopeful
sad
tense
fast-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Complicated
Diverse cast of characters:
No
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
fast-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Complicated
Loveable characters:
No
Diverse cast of characters:
No
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
Easy read but this plot is so tired, so many books like this! Also couldn’t stand the protagonist.
emotional
funny
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Yes
Diverse cast of characters:
No
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
CWs: emotional abuse by a partner, gaslighting, non-consensual oral sex (graphic), self-harm, brief mention of suicide attempt, fat-shaming
Absolutely one of my favorite books of 2021.
The painful honesty and its colloquial writing style are the things I loved the most about this.
It's like the author took all the shaming, tiny everyday tragedies, obstacles (white) women (I'll get to that very soon) face in society and put them in this book in such a candid way that reading it is like having an epiphany after the other.
The main character Tori, 31, is a bestselling author of a self-help book, it appears from her social medias that she has the best life, everyone thinks so: she's not married, no kids, she has been in a stable relationship for years.
But the truth is, and the reader starts almost instantly to realize how vicious a cycle social medias are, Tori is miserable and insecure, while her other friends are jealous of her life, she's suffocating under the pressure of lying to seem happy and content with her life but also the pressure of not having achieved what society tells women they should've achieved by the time they're 30: marriage, kids and a house.
Another thing that people don't notice from the outside and that also contributes greatly to her insecurities is that her relationship is toxic. The relationship is portrayed in such a realistic way that when you root for Tori to leave her partner, you also completely understand why it is so very difficult to do so. The fact that a person can be horrible to you but you know them and know how nice they can be when they're in right mood makes it so easy to ignore the red flags, to gaslight oneself and start to really think you're to blame, when you're not because a person's behavior depends solely on that person and no one else.
I loved that the reader is always in Tori's head, no thought is hidden, no matter how mean or disrespectful it is and that almost reassured me because it made me realize it's okay to be mean in your head, in fleeting thoughts, if you check yourself right after.
Now onto the things that I enjoyed less: there's a lot of fatshaming in this, I get that it's supposed to portray what happens in real life but I haven't used the word "fat" in a negative way in at least 10 years, how about we make that the norm instead of perpetuating this harmful stereotype?
This book makes it its mission to make fun of and criticize heteronormativity.. by making every single character straight and cis?
...And white? I won't lie this book is feminist but not intersectional which is not only a pity but also unrealistic, really hope the author does better in the future.
Last thing I want to mention is in the first 30% of the book, I don't know what happened but the author used the word "bitchily" an uncomfortable number of times, I'm a firm believer that we shouldn't use gendered slurs and I wince a little every time I find one in a book so I could not ignore this.
Absolutely one of my favorite books of 2021.
The painful honesty and its colloquial writing style are the things I loved the most about this.
It's like the author took all the shaming, tiny everyday tragedies, obstacles (white) women (I'll get to that very soon) face in society and put them in this book in such a candid way that reading it is like having an epiphany after the other.
The main character Tori, 31, is a bestselling author of a self-help book, it appears from her social medias that she has the best life, everyone thinks so: she's not married, no kids, she has been in a stable relationship for years.
But the truth is, and the reader starts almost instantly to realize how vicious a cycle social medias are, Tori is miserable and insecure, while her other friends are jealous of her life, she's suffocating under the pressure of lying to seem happy and content with her life but also the pressure of not having achieved what society tells women they should've achieved by the time they're 30: marriage, kids and a house.
Another thing that people don't notice from the outside and that also contributes greatly to her insecurities is that her relationship is toxic. The relationship is portrayed in such a realistic way that when you root for Tori to leave her partner, you also completely understand why it is so very difficult to do so. The fact that a person can be horrible to you but you know them and know how nice they can be when they're in right mood makes it so easy to ignore the red flags, to gaslight oneself and start to really think you're to blame, when you're not because a person's behavior depends solely on that person and no one else.
I loved that the reader is always in Tori's head, no thought is hidden, no matter how mean or disrespectful it is and that almost reassured me because it made me realize it's okay to be mean in your head, in fleeting thoughts, if you check yourself right after.
Now onto the things that I enjoyed less: there's a lot of fatshaming in this, I get that it's supposed to portray what happens in real life but I haven't used the word "fat" in a negative way in at least 10 years, how about we make that the norm instead of perpetuating this harmful stereotype?
This book makes it its mission to make fun of and criticize heteronormativity.. by making every single character straight and cis?
...And white? I won't lie this book is feminist but not intersectional which is not only a pity but also unrealistic, really hope the author does better in the future.
Last thing I want to mention is in the first 30% of the book, I don't know what happened but the author used the word "bitchily" an uncomfortable number of times, I'm a firm believer that we shouldn't use gendered slurs and I wince a little every time I find one in a book so I could not ignore this.
emotional
funny
hopeful
lighthearted
sad
fast-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
No
Diverse cast of characters:
No
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
I started reading How Do You Like Me Now? over TWO months ago for an advanced reader review and although I usually would get ARC reads done ASAP, I’ve unfortunately had to de-prioritise reading to make room for everything else going on with me. Much to my disappointment because this book is amazing! I loved it!
Tori is in the start of her thirties and from the outside, smashing life. She’s the best selling author of a self-help bible for women in her twenties, she’s together, successful, independent and has the love of her life, Tom, by her side for the ride. Except society still dictates that isn’t enough. She’s not married, she’s not had children and neither are firmly plotted onto her life plan so in the eyes of society, is she really successful as a woman? The question is, what does Tori want? Regardless of what she feels she should be doing in her thirties, what does she want from her thirties and the rest of her life? Will she take her own advice that she doles out to her huge female following and follow her on desires?
I relate to this book on so many levels, it’s unreal. I’m 30 (tick), I consider myself fairly successful in my career (tick), I’m not married (tick) and I don’t have children (tick). Basically I am a slightly tweaked version of Tori! Although I do have differences in my life in that I am very happily in a relationship and accepting of my life I agree with so many messages in this book.
Why is it that there is a clear, unspoken definition of “success” for women in their thirties that’s heavily steered towards marriage and children? Why is that so many women can appreciate that another woman is successful in her career, but if said woman has not had children, the unspoken conclusion is “but she’s not truly made it, she hasn’t got children”? Or why is that woman who have a very successful career can appreciate that a woman has worked hard to raise a family but if said woman has chosen not to work, the assumption is “she’s lazy, and doesn’t want to work. Anyone can stay at home minding children all day”?
I don’t understand why society STILL can’t accept that success can only be measured by oneself. Whatever makes you happy; do it. Whatever makes you feel fulfilled; do it. What I firmly believe and what this book did a fantastic job of re-affirming for me was that no matter what you do in life, if you can’t take a step back and truly feel content at least every once and while – something needs to change!
Tori is a fantastic character and I don’t know any 30 something woman that would be able to read this book and not see themselves reflected in her in at least the tiniest of ways. She portrays such a perfect life when in reality, she’s clinging on to the hope of happiness behind closed doors. There were times when I felt like shouting in to the book for her to grow a pair and take control of her life for herself. Which is me looking down on her from my high horse…so many things are easier said than done.
As I’m sure you will have grasped by now, I loved this book. My reading of this book may have been incremental and broken, but I never lost interest in it. In fact just a few days ago, I spent a good 45 minutes ranting to my partner about expectations on women and judgement of decisions and situations. Evidence of just how much this book struck a chord with me! I’d be a moron to not give this book a more than deserved 5 stars!!
Tori is in the start of her thirties and from the outside, smashing life. She’s the best selling author of a self-help bible for women in her twenties, she’s together, successful, independent and has the love of her life, Tom, by her side for the ride. Except society still dictates that isn’t enough. She’s not married, she’s not had children and neither are firmly plotted onto her life plan so in the eyes of society, is she really successful as a woman? The question is, what does Tori want? Regardless of what she feels she should be doing in her thirties, what does she want from her thirties and the rest of her life? Will she take her own advice that she doles out to her huge female following and follow her on desires?
I relate to this book on so many levels, it’s unreal. I’m 30 (tick), I consider myself fairly successful in my career (tick), I’m not married (tick) and I don’t have children (tick). Basically I am a slightly tweaked version of Tori! Although I do have differences in my life in that I am very happily in a relationship and accepting of my life I agree with so many messages in this book.
Why is it that there is a clear, unspoken definition of “success” for women in their thirties that’s heavily steered towards marriage and children? Why is that so many women can appreciate that another woman is successful in her career, but if said woman has not had children, the unspoken conclusion is “but she’s not truly made it, she hasn’t got children”? Or why is that woman who have a very successful career can appreciate that a woman has worked hard to raise a family but if said woman has chosen not to work, the assumption is “she’s lazy, and doesn’t want to work. Anyone can stay at home minding children all day”?
I don’t understand why society STILL can’t accept that success can only be measured by oneself. Whatever makes you happy; do it. Whatever makes you feel fulfilled; do it. What I firmly believe and what this book did a fantastic job of re-affirming for me was that no matter what you do in life, if you can’t take a step back and truly feel content at least every once and while – something needs to change!
Tori is a fantastic character and I don’t know any 30 something woman that would be able to read this book and not see themselves reflected in her in at least the tiniest of ways. She portrays such a perfect life when in reality, she’s clinging on to the hope of happiness behind closed doors. There were times when I felt like shouting in to the book for her to grow a pair and take control of her life for herself. Which is me looking down on her from my high horse…so many things are easier said than done.
As I’m sure you will have grasped by now, I loved this book. My reading of this book may have been incremental and broken, but I never lost interest in it. In fact just a few days ago, I spent a good 45 minutes ranting to my partner about expectations on women and judgement of decisions and situations. Evidence of just how much this book struck a chord with me! I’d be a moron to not give this book a more than deserved 5 stars!!