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4.15 AVERAGE
4.15 AVERAGE
While I deal with a mother that has narcissistic tendencies, I couldn't really relate to this book and the stories as she's never gone as far as most of this. Which, I'm going to consider a good thing. I do think the book can be helpful for people who have experienced a completely narcissist mother in their lives.
I cut contact with my mother, whose behavior is narcissistic but I don't know of any diagnosis, 10 years ago. I wish I had read this book back then. It is an excellent first step to recovery from abusive mothers.
emotional
hopeful
informative
reflective
sad
medium-paced
emotional
informative
inspiring
medium-paced
emotional
informative
reflective
medium-paced
At first I found this book to be too gender-normative for my taste, but I pushed on and the exercises felt challenging and relevant, and I feel I was ready to start completing them. I think I'm seeing some changes already.
I've had a few blocks of counselling over the course of 2-3 years, am lucky that my life is quite stable right now (e.g. having a job, housing and friends), and don't need to have much contact with my parents. I'm not sure if someone at an earlier stage of recovery would find these exercises as helpful. I think they would be too challenging for someone who was dependent on their parents, who was still highly traumatised, or who did not have access to a support network. If that's you, I highly recommend seeking counselling or therapy. CBT can be offputting and unhelpful for many trauma survivors as it resembles the way that abusive individuals or structures might talk to you. EMDR and DBT tend to be more helpful modalities for those with narcissistic abusers or who experience marginalisation.
Books like this are an amazing resource, but they should ideally be a supplement to having clinical support that's personal to you. Personally I completed two 12-week courses of EMDR and it really brought me back into my body, decreased my anxiety and derealisation and I have far fewer panic attacks and flashbacks since.
It's worth spending a fair bit of time researching what funding is available for counselling in your local area. Even if you do not have access to free or subsidised public healthcare, charities, schools, universities and employers are all bodies that might provide free or subsidised talking therapy. Try to ask a person (such as a school counsellor or a local librarian) what services are available locally to you.
The subreddit r/raisedbynarcissists was and still is an excellent anonymous support group for me. It's good to hear stories of how other people have learned to live with narcissistic abuse, gain terminology and strategies, and have the opportunity to be supported, as well as support others. It's well-moderated and a caring community.
I know the process of seeking help can be difficult and retraumatising, so go easy on yourself, and know that it's normal to have to try a few times, sometimes years apart, before you're really able to get healthcare that works for you. It took me 5 years from first realising I was mentally ill to getting treatment.
If you're reading this, know that you're not alone, there are so many people out there who care and work for the benefit of survivors of abuse, and recovery is possible. It might feel like nobody will ever believe you, and your abuse "wasn't really that bad", but we have all felt that way at some point. You'll meet people out there who won't believe you, and you'll meet people who will get it straight away - and you won't need to explain yourself.
I've had a few blocks of counselling over the course of 2-3 years, am lucky that my life is quite stable right now (e.g. having a job, housing and friends), and don't need to have much contact with my parents. I'm not sure if someone at an earlier stage of recovery would find these exercises as helpful. I think they would be too challenging for someone who was dependent on their parents, who was still highly traumatised, or who did not have access to a support network. If that's you, I highly recommend seeking counselling or therapy. CBT can be offputting and unhelpful for many trauma survivors as it resembles the way that abusive individuals or structures might talk to you. EMDR and DBT tend to be more helpful modalities for those with narcissistic abusers or who experience marginalisation.
Books like this are an amazing resource, but they should ideally be a supplement to having clinical support that's personal to you. Personally I completed two 12-week courses of EMDR and it really brought me back into my body, decreased my anxiety and derealisation and I have far fewer panic attacks and flashbacks since.
It's worth spending a fair bit of time researching what funding is available for counselling in your local area. Even if you do not have access to free or subsidised public healthcare, charities, schools, universities and employers are all bodies that might provide free or subsidised talking therapy. Try to ask a person (such as a school counsellor or a local librarian) what services are available locally to you.
The subreddit r/raisedbynarcissists was and still is an excellent anonymous support group for me. It's good to hear stories of how other people have learned to live with narcissistic abuse, gain terminology and strategies, and have the opportunity to be supported, as well as support others. It's well-moderated and a caring community.
I know the process of seeking help can be difficult and retraumatising, so go easy on yourself, and know that it's normal to have to try a few times, sometimes years apart, before you're really able to get healthcare that works for you. It took me 5 years from first realising I was mentally ill to getting treatment.
If you're reading this, know that you're not alone, there are so many people out there who care and work for the benefit of survivors of abuse, and recovery is possible. It might feel like nobody will ever believe you, and your abuse "wasn't really that bad", but we have all felt that way at some point. You'll meet people out there who won't believe you, and you'll meet people who will get it straight away - and you won't need to explain yourself.
challenging
emotional
informative
reflective
medium-paced
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
informative
reflective
slow-paced