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3.9 AVERAGE
3.9 AVERAGE
dark
emotional
reflective
sad
tense
fast-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
A mix
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Complicated
Diverse cast of characters:
Complicated
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
dark
emotional
mysterious
tense
fast-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
No
Diverse cast of characters:
No
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Complicated
Content Warnings
Graphic: Alcoholism, Child abuse, Drug abuse, Miscarriage, Pedophilia, Rape, Kidnapping, Abortion, Murder
challenging
dark
mysterious
sad
medium-paced
challenging
dark
emotional
sad
tense
fast-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
A mix
I have loved every Lucinda Berry book and this was no exception. They are all fast paced with short chapters, which helps push the story along. This story unfolds with a then/now timeline, unraveling a complicated and dark background of characters involved in kidnappings by a serial rapist. And as with every other Berry book, the ending wasn’t wrapped up nice and neat with a bow. It wasn’t what I expected but what I have come to love from her stories.
I don’t think I’m a Lucinda Berry fan and thats okay. The writing style is fine but the content is very misleading. Its just trauma porn.
challenging
dark
emotional
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
A mix
Strong character development:
Complicated
Loveable characters:
Complicated
Diverse cast of characters:
No
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
Content Warnings
Graphic: Alcoholism, Child abuse, Confinement, Pedophilia, Rape, Sexual assault, Kidnapping, Abandonment
dark
medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
A mix
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Complicated
Diverse cast of characters:
No
Flaws of characters a main focus:
N/A
dark
mysterious
tense
medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
A mix
Strong character development:
Complicated
Loveable characters:
No
Diverse cast of characters:
Complicated
Flaws of characters a main focus:
No
I thought Saving Noah was disturbing, but this was more disturbing and stressful (in a good way).
I was looking forward on reading this one because it is one of Lucinda's sought after book, and I would say that it was deserving of the hype. But I would also believe that this is not for all, especially those who can't handle trigger warnings about sexual abuse or child kidnapping or self harm.
At first it was full of hate because of the kidnapping, and when the girls are being trapped and detained in the basement. Until it became disgusting because of what the kidnapper did and the reason why kidnaps and detain them. And then it became chilling and eerie because of what of the girls did while they were with the kidnapper.
Another disturbing part was the ending. I thought there was character growth on one of the girls that survived, but sadly didn't.
I don't know. It felt like there are things which one can say is happening to the real world especially abuse and post traumatic experience. But I do hope that no one, no child or person, would ever experience what happened in this story.
Also to note, it made me more skeptic and be wary of the people I may encounter in the future. To not trust a stranger or those that suddenly asks things out of the blue. I don't mean to be ignorant, but maybe only to be careful and aware of your own surroundings.
It was disturbly good and a high praise for Lucinda for this one.
I was looking forward on reading this one because it is one of Lucinda's sought after book, and I would say that it was deserving of the hype. But I would also believe that this is not for all, especially those who can't handle trigger warnings about sexual abuse or child kidnapping or self harm.
At first it was full of hate because of the kidnapping, and when the girls are being trapped and detained in the basement. Until it became disgusting because of what the kidnapper did and the reason why kidnaps and detain them. And then it became chilling and eerie because of what of the girls did while they were with the kidnapper.
Another disturbing part was the ending. I thought there was character growth on one of the girls that survived, but sadly didn't.
I don't know. It felt like there are things which one can say is happening to the real world especially abuse and post traumatic experience. But I do hope that no one, no child or person, would ever experience what happened in this story.
Also to note, it made me more skeptic and be wary of the people I may encounter in the future. To not trust a stranger or those that suddenly asks things out of the blue. I don't mean to be ignorant, but maybe only to be careful and aware of your own surroundings.
It was disturbly good and a high praise for Lucinda for this one.
dark
tense
fast-paced
4.5⭐️ for now, this might even be 4.75⭐️ this was so well written! I couldn’t put it down.
Ella reminded me of myself in a lot of ways. She doesn't give up. She has trouble processing her feelings in healthy ways. She lashes out. I admired her fight, but at times, also got really frustrated with her. Watching how she, Sarah, and Paige handle their captivity was fascinating to me. I'm glad Paige and Ella could connect and support each other. When Ella lashes out at Sarah once they're saved, I felt like that was totally justified, as well as her not wanting Sarah to go home with them. I felt so deeply for her when Jocelyn goes against her wishes and brings Sarah home anyways. Feeling dismissed and like your healing and safety doesn't matter is scary. Of course, it wasn't Jocelyn's intent, but ultimately came true when Sarah tries to kill Ella. Also reading how Sarah and Ella resent each other for various reasons, i.e. when Ella is given preferential treatment even though Sarah feels like she's earned it for having survived for years under John's treatment, was fascinating, and I could really feel Sarah's anger burning on the one hand, as much as her hope for living upstairs in her own bed, taking care of the house and John. The more she feels like her position and privileges are threatened, the more cutthroat she becomes.
I was devastated to learn that Paige died when Sarah and Ella escape. I kind of wish we had gotten to know her better as a character, but I liked that she's such a sunny personality to balance out Ella and Sarah's glumness and coldness.
I love how Jocelyn was written. She is one of the most caring and strong female characters I've read about. She's by no means perfect. Her decision to bring Sarah home despite Ella's and Randy's reservations is a prime example. At the same time, I get it! She was able to get through to Sarah on a level no one else was. And I can see why she felt like she was Sarah's only hope at true rehabilitation, especially because of how flawed CPS is. She's also just faced with a really hard decision, and couldn't reckon with her conscience. Ultimately, she prioritizes and protects Ella; I would've been extremely interested to see how Lucinda would've written the ending if Ella had tried to kill Sarah. She is so wise and some of her conversations with Sarah were the most meaningful to me, like when she asks Sarah why she lied during the ID, and disclosing about her own assault and how she confused being used with being desired/loved (trying to connect with Sarah and show her through empathy that she can heal, but also that Sarah is conflating/mistaking being abused with love because that's all she knows, but also that she needs to stop protecting John because what he's doing is not love). But we also see she's not immune from the consequences of the situation either; she's depicted as tired and emotional, but that's not seen as a weakness. I don't know how she does it. I'm actually surprised we didn't see her burn out.
I love how religion is included in this narrative and how it's shown to be an uplifting experience (as opposed to in When She Returned) without making the characters seem preachy. Additionally, I feel like I've seen and heard about people's experience of growing up religious but then changing their beliefs because they feel betrayed and forgotten by God. They use rationality to reason that if God truly existed, he wouldn't let them suffer. However, like we saw with Abner's character in WSR, people also take the position of this is God's challenge for us to overcome. I really appreciate that Berry depicts religion as a multifaceted and complex institution. I liked seeing more of the positive aspects in this book. There can be really heartwarming aspects of it. Jocelyn gains a lot of support, both financial and emotional, from having that community. I can see, as a single mom, how important that would be for her.
Also showing how hard it is to be reintegrated into normal society and life after suffering such a traumatic experience was so well done. It reminded me of Still Beating and the film Room. The complex feelings of being overstimulated and also PTSD and reacting to triggers you didn't used to have all seemed so realistic. It broke my heart when Ella turned to alcohol to cope. I was glad that eventually she started to trust Randy and opened up to Dr. Hale (I think that was the psychiatrist's name). She was feeling so much shame while imprisoned, and after she's rescued. There are a lot of complicated feelings going on, and having the proper support to process and heal can be tricky to come by. I like that Berry shows an example of the type of care needed to begin the healing journey. I'm not even sure I could do what Randy does, which is at times, taking the brunt of people's blame when they're scared, frustrated, anxious, etc. She is able to remain detached, and explains the girls' behavior to each other, even if said behavior is harmful. Everything they did in the basement was for survival. Sarah adhering to John's protocol, being harsh on the other girls, and obeying every single order John gives is because she's terrified. But I also get why Paige and Ella find her cold and cruel.
Overall, I just felt like, from beginning to end, Berry explored a horrifying experience thoroughly, with nuance and care. Her also showing John's tactics and manipulation was a little less complex, but I don't think showing his mindset was the priority. The gaslighting, punishment/reward tactic to mandate obedience, isolation, violence, rape...I can't even imagine what that's like.
Spoiler
The dual narration was a phenomenal mechanic to explore different characters' experiences in this situation. Berry makes each survivor/victim sympathetic, even Sarah. Sarah was one of the more complex characters, kind of like Kate in When She Returned. Sarah has been completely groomed and brainwashed, but there is still some compassion and glimpses of her conscience. Her identity is completely erased, beginning with her name being changed. Ultimately, her demise and forced sentence in a psych ward was tragic, but also sooo eerie. We see that Sarah has ultimately not changed, but learns how to socialize and fit in. We see signs of her adapting to normal life, but also that she teeters on the edge of being socialized and still hoping to maintain John's "love" and holding out for him. She learns how to get people to do what she wants by ordering them around with threats and force, particularly from her father and John. Her lack of human connection and care in her most formative years damages her beyond return. She seeks out approval and attention anywhere and everywhere, which John/Derek takes advantage of. When Jocelyn (Ella's mom) shows her true love and care, Sarah latches onto that too. Her obsession with Jocelyn is terrifying and when she tries to kill Ella for "getting in the way", we can see how mentally disturbed Sarah has become, and it suggests she can't be rehabilitated.Ella reminded me of myself in a lot of ways. She doesn't give up. She has trouble processing her feelings in healthy ways. She lashes out. I admired her fight, but at times, also got really frustrated with her. Watching how she, Sarah, and Paige handle their captivity was fascinating to me. I'm glad Paige and Ella could connect and support each other. When Ella lashes out at Sarah once they're saved, I felt like that was totally justified, as well as her not wanting Sarah to go home with them. I felt so deeply for her when Jocelyn goes against her wishes and brings Sarah home anyways. Feeling dismissed and like your healing and safety doesn't matter is scary. Of course, it wasn't Jocelyn's intent, but ultimately came true when Sarah tries to kill Ella. Also reading how Sarah and Ella resent each other for various reasons, i.e. when Ella is given preferential treatment even though Sarah feels like she's earned it for having survived for years under John's treatment, was fascinating, and I could really feel Sarah's anger burning on the one hand, as much as her hope for living upstairs in her own bed, taking care of the house and John. The more she feels like her position and privileges are threatened, the more cutthroat she becomes.
I was devastated to learn that Paige died when Sarah and Ella escape. I kind of wish we had gotten to know her better as a character, but I liked that she's such a sunny personality to balance out Ella and Sarah's glumness and coldness.
I love how Jocelyn was written. She is one of the most caring and strong female characters I've read about. She's by no means perfect. Her decision to bring Sarah home despite Ella's and Randy's reservations is a prime example. At the same time, I get it! She was able to get through to Sarah on a level no one else was. And I can see why she felt like she was Sarah's only hope at true rehabilitation, especially because of how flawed CPS is. She's also just faced with a really hard decision, and couldn't reckon with her conscience. Ultimately, she prioritizes and protects Ella; I would've been extremely interested to see how Lucinda would've written the ending if Ella had tried to kill Sarah. She is so wise and some of her conversations with Sarah were the most meaningful to me, like when she asks Sarah why she lied during the ID, and disclosing about her own assault and how she confused being used with being desired/loved (trying to connect with Sarah and show her through empathy that she can heal, but also that Sarah is conflating/mistaking being abused with love because that's all she knows, but also that she needs to stop protecting John because what he's doing is not love). But we also see she's not immune from the consequences of the situation either; she's depicted as tired and emotional, but that's not seen as a weakness. I don't know how she does it. I'm actually surprised we didn't see her burn out.
I love how religion is included in this narrative and how it's shown to be an uplifting experience (as opposed to in When She Returned) without making the characters seem preachy. Additionally, I feel like I've seen and heard about people's experience of growing up religious but then changing their beliefs because they feel betrayed and forgotten by God. They use rationality to reason that if God truly existed, he wouldn't let them suffer. However, like we saw with Abner's character in WSR, people also take the position of this is God's challenge for us to overcome. I really appreciate that Berry depicts religion as a multifaceted and complex institution. I liked seeing more of the positive aspects in this book. There can be really heartwarming aspects of it. Jocelyn gains a lot of support, both financial and emotional, from having that community. I can see, as a single mom, how important that would be for her.
Also showing how hard it is to be reintegrated into normal society and life after suffering such a traumatic experience was so well done. It reminded me of Still Beating and the film Room. The complex feelings of being overstimulated and also PTSD and reacting to triggers you didn't used to have all seemed so realistic. It broke my heart when Ella turned to alcohol to cope. I was glad that eventually she started to trust Randy and opened up to Dr. Hale (I think that was the psychiatrist's name). She was feeling so much shame while imprisoned, and after she's rescued. There are a lot of complicated feelings going on, and having the proper support to process and heal can be tricky to come by. I like that Berry shows an example of the type of care needed to begin the healing journey. I'm not even sure I could do what Randy does, which is at times, taking the brunt of people's blame when they're scared, frustrated, anxious, etc. She is able to remain detached, and explains the girls' behavior to each other, even if said behavior is harmful. Everything they did in the basement was for survival. Sarah adhering to John's protocol, being harsh on the other girls, and obeying every single order John gives is because she's terrified. But I also get why Paige and Ella find her cold and cruel.
Overall, I just felt like, from beginning to end, Berry explored a horrifying experience thoroughly, with nuance and care. Her also showing John's tactics and manipulation was a little less complex, but I don't think showing his mindset was the priority. The gaslighting, punishment/reward tactic to mandate obedience, isolation, violence, rape...I can't even imagine what that's like.