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4.28 AVERAGE
4.28 AVERAGE
challenging
dark
emotional
hopeful
inspiring
sad
tense
medium-paced
Content Warnings
Graphic: Gaslighting
Moderate: Child abuse, Transphobia
challenging
emotional
informative
sad
fast-paced
challenging
dark
informative
medium-paced
challenging
informative
medium-paced
a completely engrossing memoir that i couldn't put down despite its length and the repetitive nature of many of the scenes. highly recommend.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Child abuse, Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, Physical abuse, Suicidal thoughts, Transphobia, Medical trauma, Toxic friendship
challenging
informative
reflective
medium-paced
challenging
dark
emotional
funny
hopeful
informative
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
When I was scavenging a bookstore for queer books–I came upon many because it was a lovely place–but this one stood out to me. A thick gorgeous deity had rested its pages upon this shelf where I was now looking at it, simply waiting to be rescued from limbo. I can look back on this moment with certainty–The Third Person is by far one of the best books I’ve read all year–but taking the leap and buying a very pricy book isn’t always a certainty. Yet I did and here I am, my viewpoint irrevocably changed for the better.
As I began reading, I had not viewed the description beforehand which gives away a lot of details. I preferred dissecting the story like this because it mirrored Emma’s experience and made you embody it differently. Everything I write ahead isn't explicitly spoilers, but if you're already sold on the book and haven’t read it yet, I’d get it and have that beautiful first-hand experience. If not, read on.
This biography follows the author on her journey as a trans woman seeking medical transition, while simultaneously figuring out her mental state. On the queer side of things, it was nice to see a gender-expansive person who was coming into herself knowing who she is and what she needs instead of a coming out story that is tired at best. The majority of the book focuses on her therapy sessions with Toby–a trans man who she hopes will refer her for hormones and other treatments. Instead, Toby sees some other things that need dealing with…
During Emma’s sessions, it increasingly becomes apparent that something unusual is going on. The epitome of this is in the beginning when she is going out for a drink with a colleague as “Ed”. I could see how a reader could drop and run at the very precipice of the iceberg, but a bewildering situation turns out to be the best way to understand Dissociative Identity Disorder or D.I.D. As I read it became very apparent that she has D.I.D with multiple personalities. As some background, D.I.D. usually occurs from traumatizing childhood memories that the person has coped with by dissociating and letting another person or an “alter” experience them instead. I have never read a book about this specific mental illness and it was described exquisitely. I can't possibly usurp it with my pitiful description.
The whole book is set in the first person except for a couple of memories. Taking everything head-on puts you in the shoes of Emma and accurately shows her experiences and confusion. It did make me empathetic. To an extent, I feel like using that word implies being slightly patronizing but for me, it was the complete opposite. I came to an understanding. That felt so much more important.
The art morphed dramatically from alter to alter. Allowing you to ride the ebb and flow of the changing characters. Posture, speech, and physical features were all utilized in subtle and effective ways to cue you in to what was happening.
The most shocking thing was at the end when the author tells us how this book was made. Tapping into lost memories in a frenzy of drawing. Anything that couldn’t be remembered was blacked out or acknowledged with an asterisk. Instead of having a narrator to help sort through the tangled yarn ball of life or to read it critically, you can trust that it is accurate. And as a byproduct, completely devoid of personal opinion, it solely uses experience. The Third Person just is.
I can’t think of any imperfection, any blemish that made me dislike some part of these 900 pages. It is impressive to have a mental illness that stems from a rotten root and focus on the journey of living now when trauma tries to pull you to the past. Eventually working and healing are the messages I got. Along with trust. Trusting people is one of the hardest and most rewarding things you can do because vulnerability is hard. Seeing how much trust could have changed this person’s experience in therapy was heartbreaking for the lack, and hopeful for growth. This book does what every book should, it changes the way one thinks and for that, I am deeply grateful.
As I began reading, I had not viewed the description beforehand which gives away a lot of details. I preferred dissecting the story like this because it mirrored Emma’s experience and made you embody it differently. Everything I write ahead isn't explicitly spoilers, but if you're already sold on the book and haven’t read it yet, I’d get it and have that beautiful first-hand experience. If not, read on.
This biography follows the author on her journey as a trans woman seeking medical transition, while simultaneously figuring out her mental state. On the queer side of things, it was nice to see a gender-expansive person who was coming into herself knowing who she is and what she needs instead of a coming out story that is tired at best. The majority of the book focuses on her therapy sessions with Toby–a trans man who she hopes will refer her for hormones and other treatments. Instead, Toby sees some other things that need dealing with…
During Emma’s sessions, it increasingly becomes apparent that something unusual is going on. The epitome of this is in the beginning when she is going out for a drink with a colleague as “Ed”. I could see how a reader could drop and run at the very precipice of the iceberg, but a bewildering situation turns out to be the best way to understand Dissociative Identity Disorder or D.I.D. As I read it became very apparent that she has D.I.D with multiple personalities. As some background, D.I.D. usually occurs from traumatizing childhood memories that the person has coped with by dissociating and letting another person or an “alter” experience them instead. I have never read a book about this specific mental illness and it was described exquisitely. I can't possibly usurp it with my pitiful description.
The whole book is set in the first person except for a couple of memories. Taking everything head-on puts you in the shoes of Emma and accurately shows her experiences and confusion. It did make me empathetic. To an extent, I feel like using that word implies being slightly patronizing but for me, it was the complete opposite. I came to an understanding. That felt so much more important.
The art morphed dramatically from alter to alter. Allowing you to ride the ebb and flow of the changing characters. Posture, speech, and physical features were all utilized in subtle and effective ways to cue you in to what was happening.
The most shocking thing was at the end when the author tells us how this book was made. Tapping into lost memories in a frenzy of drawing. Anything that couldn’t be remembered was blacked out or acknowledged with an asterisk. Instead of having a narrator to help sort through the tangled yarn ball of life or to read it critically, you can trust that it is accurate. And as a byproduct, completely devoid of personal opinion, it solely uses experience. The Third Person just is.
I can’t think of any imperfection, any blemish that made me dislike some part of these 900 pages. It is impressive to have a mental illness that stems from a rotten root and focus on the journey of living now when trauma tries to pull you to the past. Eventually working and healing are the messages I got. Along with trust. Trusting people is one of the hardest and most rewarding things you can do because vulnerability is hard. Seeing how much trust could have changed this person’s experience in therapy was heartbreaking for the lack, and hopeful for growth. This book does what every book should, it changes the way one thinks and for that, I am deeply grateful.
challenging
emotional
reflective
fast-paced
This is a remarkable book.
Emma seeks therapy to get approved for HRT (hormone replacement therapy) in order to transition to living as a woman full time. (The fact that people have to do this at all is oppressive gatekeeping.) In therapy, it becomes apparent that she has Dissociative Identity Disorder, or in other words she has multiple personalities.
Unfortunately her therapist, despite being trans himself, is a piece of shit and denies her HRT referral. He accuses her of lying, argues with her, loses his temper, etc. This book is largely about this shitty relationship. We meet Emma's alters, Katina and Ed, learn a bit about her childhood, and see how the personalities interact with each other (or don't).
I found myself wondering why Emma keeps going back to this shitty therapist. Perhaps, as an abuse survivor, she's used to being treated badly and did not understand what it's like to get actual competent help. She does eventually find a competent therapist and starts to heal.
It's important for people to acknowledge that therapy can be actively harmful sometimes. Good therapy can be vital but bad therapy can be destructive.
This book contains discussion of child abuse.
Emma seeks therapy to get approved for HRT (hormone replacement therapy) in order to transition to living as a woman full time. (The fact that people have to do this at all is oppressive gatekeeping.) In therapy, it becomes apparent that she has Dissociative Identity Disorder, or in other words she has multiple personalities.
Unfortunately her therapist, despite being trans himself, is a piece of shit and denies her HRT referral. He accuses her of lying, argues with her, loses his temper, etc. This book is largely about this shitty relationship. We meet Emma's alters, Katina and Ed, learn a bit about her childhood, and see how the personalities interact with each other (or don't).
I found myself wondering why Emma keeps going back to this shitty therapist. Perhaps, as an abuse survivor, she's used to being treated badly and did not understand what it's like to get actual competent help. She does eventually find a competent therapist and starts to heal.
It's important for people to acknowledge that therapy can be actively harmful sometimes. Good therapy can be vital but bad therapy can be destructive.
This book contains discussion of child abuse.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Child abuse
dark
emotional
tense
fast-paced