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3.87 AVERAGE
3.87 AVERAGE
informative
inspiring
medium-paced
Nature = recenter and calm → reduce chatter
Organizing/cleaning/tidying = regain sense of control → reduce chatter
Organizing/cleaning/tidying = regain sense of control → reduce chatter
hopeful
informative
lighthearted
reflective
fast-paced
informative
lighthearted
reflective
relaxing
medium-paced
hopeful
informative
medium-paced
Chatter is a phenomenal book and ought to be required reading. Beyond the content that Kross shares, this book goes to show that I enjoy books written by fellow academics. For example, Kross includes nearly 60 pages of citations, whereas a book I did not enjoy—The Comfort Crisis—claimed that due to publishing constraints, he did not have space to include citations in print. I thoroughly enjoyed howChatter deftly included personal stories and events in popular culture as an on-ramp for talking about pertinent science.
My biggest qualm with this book was Kross's complete gloss-over of meditation; he had a few asides about how "living in the moment" isn't what our brains are made to do, but he truly ignored all of the good science of how meditation/mindfulness has helped many people. He also had a few chapters towards the end that seemed to stray a bit in the name of keeping to the topic, but they were still intriguing and useful.
Ultimately, Chatterfirst thoroughly describes both how and why our inner voice can be either a liability or an asset, and then later gives a set tools to tip the scales to the latter.
Before I do a deep dive into summarizing the main concepts, I must say that this book was a pleasant affirmation that (i) my brain is fairly normal/high-functioning and (ii) I have been fortunate enough to come across and implement many of the mental techniques presented in Chatterearlier in my life.
Well-written, important work. 4.6/5 stars
The first two chapters describe what the inner voice is (and gives some neat examples), and also talk about how venting can be counter-productive when done too often or in a lopsided manner in a relationship.
In the third chapter, Kross talks about how to create mental distance from an event/environment by (i) becoming a fly on the wall observer to become more impartial to your own problems (the downside here is that distancing can also reduce your positive affect, so it is important to immerse when in good situations); (ii) "time-travel" by placing your situation in context of both history and the future (how have others survived similar/worse situations; how will I/others look at this moment a while from now); (iii) use expressive journaling (creating a narrative about your most upsetting negative experiences makes you feel better).
Chapter four talks about how it is useful to mentally address yourself as "you" or by your own name. I started doing this for running many years ago and find it quite helpful.
Chapter five shows, counterintuitively to me, that simply sharing your emotions with others does not make you feel better. While sharing your emotions certainly allows you to get closer to people by forming empathetic bonds, you have to avoid the co-rumination trap by also focusing on your cognitive needs—instead of just your emotional needs, as is often the case when immersed in chatter. Therefore, seek out the proper person to help based on the situation, ideally someone who knows how to assist in your cognitive needs as well. Also, invisible support is generally helpful in these times as well. Finally, physical touch is quite important (something I have unfortunately often shied away from).
In Chapter Six, Kross details how the outside word affects the inner world. Briefly, nature walks are extremely powerful, and their benefits can likely even be reaped by simply watching/listening to nature (need to do this during the Boston winter). Seek out experiences that inspire awe (have listened to podcasts on this, and some people think it's the next big thing). Institute routines, which can let the mind get "in the zone"; also, keeping your physical space de-cluttered helps your mind. Also, simply looking at a picture of a loved one is quite helpful.
Chapter seven: placebos are wicked cool (have read many articles on this). Placebos are quite potent, and can even help if you know you know that being told you are taking a sugar pill can still lessen your symptoms. Rituals are also powerful, because they help to broaden your perspective, and can also enhance your connection to values/communities. (this chapter is where I think Chatter moved away from it's central point, yet it still has great info/science).
Conclusion: just as we experience pain for a reason, our inner voice (even—maybe especially—when negative) is there to guide us toward a "better" experience. Don't passively use social media, especially when chatter is bouncing around in your head.
My biggest qualm with this book was Kross's complete gloss-over of meditation; he had a few asides about how "living in the moment" isn't what our brains are made to do, but he truly ignored all of the good science of how meditation/mindfulness has helped many people. He also had a few chapters towards the end that seemed to stray a bit in the name of keeping to the topic, but they were still intriguing and useful.
Ultimately, Chatterfirst thoroughly describes both how and why our inner voice can be either a liability or an asset, and then later gives a set tools to tip the scales to the latter.
Before I do a deep dive into summarizing the main concepts, I must say that this book was a pleasant affirmation that (i) my brain is fairly normal/high-functioning and (ii) I have been fortunate enough to come across and implement many of the mental techniques presented in Chatterearlier in my life.
Well-written, important work. 4.6/5 stars
Spoiler
The first two chapters describe what the inner voice is (and gives some neat examples), and also talk about how venting can be counter-productive when done too often or in a lopsided manner in a relationship.
In the third chapter, Kross talks about how to create mental distance from an event/environment by (i) becoming a fly on the wall observer to become more impartial to your own problems (the downside here is that distancing can also reduce your positive affect, so it is important to immerse when in good situations); (ii) "time-travel" by placing your situation in context of both history and the future (how have others survived similar/worse situations; how will I/others look at this moment a while from now); (iii) use expressive journaling (creating a narrative about your most upsetting negative experiences makes you feel better).
Chapter four talks about how it is useful to mentally address yourself as "you" or by your own name. I started doing this for running many years ago and find it quite helpful.
Chapter five shows, counterintuitively to me, that simply sharing your emotions with others does not make you feel better. While sharing your emotions certainly allows you to get closer to people by forming empathetic bonds, you have to avoid the co-rumination trap by also focusing on your cognitive needs—instead of just your emotional needs, as is often the case when immersed in chatter. Therefore, seek out the proper person to help based on the situation, ideally someone who knows how to assist in your cognitive needs as well. Also, invisible support is generally helpful in these times as well. Finally, physical touch is quite important (something I have unfortunately often shied away from).
In Chapter Six, Kross details how the outside word affects the inner world. Briefly, nature walks are extremely powerful, and their benefits can likely even be reaped by simply watching/listening to nature (need to do this during the Boston winter). Seek out experiences that inspire awe (have listened to podcasts on this, and some people think it's the next big thing). Institute routines, which can let the mind get "in the zone"; also, keeping your physical space de-cluttered helps your mind. Also, simply looking at a picture of a loved one is quite helpful.
Chapter seven: placebos are wicked cool (have read many articles on this). Placebos are quite potent, and can even help if you know you know that being told you are taking a sugar pill can still lessen your symptoms. Rituals are also powerful, because they help to broaden your perspective, and can also enhance your connection to values/communities. (this chapter is where I think Chatter moved away from it's central point, yet it still has great info/science).
Conclusion: just as we experience pain for a reason, our inner voice (even—maybe especially—when negative) is there to guide us toward a "better" experience. Don't passively use social media, especially when chatter is bouncing around in your head.
A very useful read for those whose inner voice loves to ruminate. The author explains what the inner voice is and what it is for in a scientific yet very simple way. It provides a number of science-backed, practical tactics to tone down chatter. I'll be giving some of them a go to see how effective they are.
informative
medium-paced
informative
reflective
medium-paced