Scan barcode
wentingthings's review against another edition
5.0
i found myself in a paper library the other day – my mother had placed some holds out of the blue, and i offered to bike over to get them (she wanted to drive the car, horror). although out of the habit, i could not resist the draw of shelves. new yorker seems popular, the only issue i could find was from october and it looked like a stampede of dogs had run it over. i settled in the fiction section but felt aimless. all the titles that stood out to me were the same as perhaps five years ago, like time has stuck in amber. i browse superficially, going by jacket design, covers, so perhaps this isn’t surprising; i squinted harder. just when i was about to give up, i picked out a completely unremarkable spine. it was the author’s name that drew me in. ambivalently, i checked kinder than solitude out along with my mother’s tai chi manuals, and headed home. the moon was close to the horizon, pale pink against a sort of purple sky behind the close roofs of suburbia, and i had low expectations of the book. but it surpassed these expectations, and has wormed its way through my brain. days after, i am still thinking about it. neither boyang, ruyu, or moran are able to let go of a past they share. is it perhaps that they aren’t allowed to? i found myself thinking of the three of them in communist beijing, as my father’s car drove past willow trees half a world, decades, and a layer of reality away. and i can’t help but feel profoundly moved by the way the characters in the novel held immoveable views of one another, truths they believed so wholly about other people that when these things were revealed to be wholly wrong when the narration switched perspectives, i didn’t really question the dissonance.
brainemptyjust's review against another edition
challenging
dark
reflective
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
athravan's review against another edition
5.0
This is a poignant book that revolves around three friends and an event - the poisoning of another friend - that changes their lives forever. It hops back in time between their childhood and the present (twenty years later), to see what sort of lives they live, and how much they are effected by the past. I cared deeply about all the characters, but this is a sad tale of mourning, loss, and broken dreams and to be honest, I felt quite depressed, even after finishing it, a little haunted.
Superbly written, it focuses on the relationships that we forge with each other, loyalty and love, or the lack of it.
Even though this a mystery, and wanting to find out who poisoned Shaoai (or was it suicide?) kept me turning the pages, the actual whodunnit seemed entirely secondary - with the main meat of the book being not what happened, but how did one event resonate through multiple people across the years, who else did it touch, and how did it affect them? For example, Moran, once a young girl who idolised Shaoai is now a quiet woman living in the United States. We watch her interact with her ex-husband, and have to wonder how much did that distance event with Shaoai effect her current personality, how did it touch her ex-husband and her relationship with his family, even though they never even know Shaoai existed.
It is a book about experiences, and how they shape us - although be reassured, the book has a conclusion and felt complete. Overall a very emotive journey that caused me to feel very introspective upon completion.
Superbly written, it focuses on the relationships that we forge with each other, loyalty and love, or the lack of it.
Even though this a mystery, and wanting to find out who poisoned Shaoai (or was it suicide?) kept me turning the pages, the actual whodunnit seemed entirely secondary - with the main meat of the book being not what happened, but how did one event resonate through multiple people across the years, who else did it touch, and how did it affect them? For example, Moran, once a young girl who idolised Shaoai is now a quiet woman living in the United States. We watch her interact with her ex-husband, and have to wonder how much did that distance event with Shaoai effect her current personality, how did it touch her ex-husband and her relationship with his family, even though they never even know Shaoai existed.
It is a book about experiences, and how they shape us - although be reassured, the book has a conclusion and felt complete. Overall a very emotive journey that caused me to feel very introspective upon completion.
mslaura's review against another edition
4.0
Ratings (1 to 5)
Writing: 4
Plot: 4
Characters: 4
Emotional impact: 4
Overall rating: 4
Writing: 4
Plot: 4
Characters: 4
Emotional impact: 4
Overall rating: 4
extemporalli's review against another edition
3.0
I found this hard to get through - it is inherently difficult to portray emotions that are dull and boring to those who experience them as well as those who witness them. Moreover, it hasn't always been clear that any of the main characters have ever experienced the kind of togetherness that can motivate or be usefully juxtaposed against the emotional solitude of the book's present day.
johannalm's review against another edition
4.0
Kinder the Solitude, Yiyun Li
Li is an exceptional writer. I loved the first novel I read by her, The Vagrants, about a small Chinese city and the overwhelming negative effect all-controlling communism has on people's lives. Someone is always watching you and is ready to turn you over to the authorities for any wrong step or word. Li writes about China in a way that brings to life the sad, scared, suffocating and depressing lives lived under communism. This new novel focuses on modern China and three young people growing up in Beijing. There are a variety of lives to learn about, and a mysterious tragedy that lead each to even greater loneliness and hopelessness. But it is the culture that is the star of the novel for me because it shows how Chinese communism demands oppression of emotions, openness, and connection.The struggles for everyday survival, the poverty, the ever present hand of the government controlling where you live, your ability to work, etc., is fascinating. I think I like her work so much because you learn so much about a culture so different from ours. I also value her work for the beauty of the writing.
Li is an exceptional writer. I loved the first novel I read by her, The Vagrants, about a small Chinese city and the overwhelming negative effect all-controlling communism has on people's lives. Someone is always watching you and is ready to turn you over to the authorities for any wrong step or word. Li writes about China in a way that brings to life the sad, scared, suffocating and depressing lives lived under communism. This new novel focuses on modern China and three young people growing up in Beijing. There are a variety of lives to learn about, and a mysterious tragedy that lead each to even greater loneliness and hopelessness. But it is the culture that is the star of the novel for me because it shows how Chinese communism demands oppression of emotions, openness, and connection.The struggles for everyday survival, the poverty, the ever present hand of the government controlling where you live, your ability to work, etc., is fascinating. I think I like her work so much because you learn so much about a culture so different from ours. I also value her work for the beauty of the writing.
ktreadsnm's review against another edition
3.0
Gah. This took forever to read, and I hated the ending.
jdscott50's review against another edition
4.0
When faced with overwhelming difficulty and hardship it may seem easier to run away and not deal with the problem at hand. However, in not facing the problem, it grows large in our imagination. It becomes something insurmountable when if faced at first a better resolution may have come. Thus the characters of Yiyun Li's book, The Kindness of Solitude, all share a terrible secret. A member of their group was struck down soon after the Tiananmen Square massacre. Some have run away from China to the United States, but find no comfort. Another has dealt with the issue for the past 15 years, yet is not closer to any kind of resolution. It is the solitude they seek, a way to sort out what has happened in the quiet of the day when others urge them to move on and not to dwell in the past.
The story moves between the past and the present among four students, Boyang, Moran, Ruyu, and Shaoai, in 1989 China in the aftermath of the Tiananmen Square protests. One of the four will meet a horrible fate possibly at the hands of one of the group. Would it be the privileged Boyang, the jealous Moran or Ruyu, or is it the indefatigable Shaoai? The past is played over and over again, but ultimately no resolution is ever found. Revolutionary change come at the risk of ones own future.
The story focuses on Ruyu, the orphan, the odd person out, and someone who best represents the solitude of the novel. She would rather have no impact on anyone as no one has any impact on herself. She joins this group as a student, but is always held at the outside in reciprocation of her attitude. The one who fixates on her is Shaoai which makes her a suspect in what happens later. Shaoai also represents an aspect of China lost. Those who sought to change the country and overthrow the Communist dictatorship become hollow reminders for so many who just want to forget. It's the dead past haunting them.
In the end, the story doesn't have much resolution. It's a sad story that tries to fool itself into thinking that solitude and dwelling on the past are good endeavors. However, it's revealed later on that moving forward with ones life is the only way to live. One cannot live in the past and the present simultaneously.
Favorite Passages
“These people forget that those who rush to every sweet fruit of life rush to death too.” P. 9
“…death, when it strikes, better completes its annihilating act on the first try.” P. 10
“Already Bejing made her feel small, but worse than that was people’s indifference to her smallness.” P. 25
“Pool gullible Celia, believing, like most people, in a moment called later. Safely removed, later promises possibilities: changes, solutions, rewards, happiness, all too distant to be real, yet real enough to offer relief from the claustrophobic cocoon of now. If only Celia had the strength to be both kind and harsh enough with herself to stop talking about later, that heartless annihilator of now.” P. 34
Her parents should have known by now that her problem, rather than living in the past, was not allowing the past to live on. Any moment that slipped away from the present became a dead moment; and people, unsuspicious, over and over again became the casualties of her compulsive purging of the past. P. 57
“… she was one of those strangers people needed once in a while to make their lives less empty…” p. 60
“Nothing destroys a livable life more completely than unfounded hope.” P. 66
“Life is a battle that the lesser ones do not have the luxury of quitting midway.” P. 82
“Wouldn’t it be nice if she could be his personal temple?” p. 100
"It is easier to hold a person accountable for a tragedy than holding fate, which defeats everyone impartially, accountable. P.121
“…disappointment is for those who begin with a plan, those who sow seeds and refuse to accept the barrenness of life.” P. 143
“The worst is not a moment robbed from one’s life, but what’s left in place of the moment: an abyss where all the other moments could slip in easily. One does not wakt up from a nightmare unhaunted.”p. 155
All young people start with untainted dreams, but how many would retain their capacities to dream? How many could refrain from transforming themselves into corruptors of other untainted dreams? We are all wardens and executors biding our time; what’s taken from us, what’s killed in us, we wait for our turn to avenge.” P. 166
It is not in our nature to expire quietly. P. 177
“…in everyone’s heart, there’s a graveyard for first love.” P. 242
Once and again we lie to ourselves about starting with a clean slate, but even the most diligent wiping leaves streaks—fears, distrusts, the necessities of forever questioning the motives of others.” P. 247
The story moves between the past and the present among four students, Boyang, Moran, Ruyu, and Shaoai, in 1989 China in the aftermath of the Tiananmen Square protests. One of the four will meet a horrible fate possibly at the hands of one of the group. Would it be the privileged Boyang, the jealous Moran or Ruyu, or is it the indefatigable Shaoai? The past is played over and over again, but ultimately no resolution is ever found. Revolutionary change come at the risk of ones own future.
The story focuses on Ruyu, the orphan, the odd person out, and someone who best represents the solitude of the novel. She would rather have no impact on anyone as no one has any impact on herself. She joins this group as a student, but is always held at the outside in reciprocation of her attitude. The one who fixates on her is Shaoai which makes her a suspect in what happens later. Shaoai also represents an aspect of China lost. Those who sought to change the country and overthrow the Communist dictatorship become hollow reminders for so many who just want to forget. It's the dead past haunting them.
In the end, the story doesn't have much resolution. It's a sad story that tries to fool itself into thinking that solitude and dwelling on the past are good endeavors. However, it's revealed later on that moving forward with ones life is the only way to live. One cannot live in the past and the present simultaneously.
Favorite Passages
“These people forget that those who rush to every sweet fruit of life rush to death too.” P. 9
“…death, when it strikes, better completes its annihilating act on the first try.” P. 10
“Already Bejing made her feel small, but worse than that was people’s indifference to her smallness.” P. 25
“Pool gullible Celia, believing, like most people, in a moment called later. Safely removed, later promises possibilities: changes, solutions, rewards, happiness, all too distant to be real, yet real enough to offer relief from the claustrophobic cocoon of now. If only Celia had the strength to be both kind and harsh enough with herself to stop talking about later, that heartless annihilator of now.” P. 34
Her parents should have known by now that her problem, rather than living in the past, was not allowing the past to live on. Any moment that slipped away from the present became a dead moment; and people, unsuspicious, over and over again became the casualties of her compulsive purging of the past. P. 57
“… she was one of those strangers people needed once in a while to make their lives less empty…” p. 60
“Nothing destroys a livable life more completely than unfounded hope.” P. 66
“Life is a battle that the lesser ones do not have the luxury of quitting midway.” P. 82
“Wouldn’t it be nice if she could be his personal temple?” p. 100
"It is easier to hold a person accountable for a tragedy than holding fate, which defeats everyone impartially, accountable. P.121
“…disappointment is for those who begin with a plan, those who sow seeds and refuse to accept the barrenness of life.” P. 143
“The worst is not a moment robbed from one’s life, but what’s left in place of the moment: an abyss where all the other moments could slip in easily. One does not wakt up from a nightmare unhaunted.”p. 155
All young people start with untainted dreams, but how many would retain their capacities to dream? How many could refrain from transforming themselves into corruptors of other untainted dreams? We are all wardens and executors biding our time; what’s taken from us, what’s killed in us, we wait for our turn to avenge.” P. 166
It is not in our nature to expire quietly. P. 177
“…in everyone’s heart, there’s a graveyard for first love.” P. 242
Once and again we lie to ourselves about starting with a clean slate, but even the most diligent wiping leaves streaks—fears, distrusts, the necessities of forever questioning the motives of others.” P. 247