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kimmeyer's review against another edition
4.0
More than a decade of Catholic school failed to cultivate anything but atheism in me. I love a good memoir though, and the cover of Erin Lane’s book intrigued me when I received a free copy in exchange for an honest review. As I glanced over the table of contents and skimmed the foreword, I thought to myself “What was I thinking? I’m not even religious! I’m not going to be able to read this book.”
I’m slightly surprised to report that I really enjoyed it! I read the entire thing on one of those lazy rainy days when leaving the couch seems like an impossibility. It is a book about religion. Mostly, however, it’s one woman’s story of her own quest to find a place to belong within the world of her faith. She never struggles with her belief in God but questions how it fits within tangible day to day life among other believers. Reflections on Christianity and biblical verses are seamlessly integrated with tales of the places she’s lived, communities she’s a part of, and her marriage and family.
Lane very nearly manages to never come across as preachy thanks to her willingness to expose her own quirks and flaws. She has a hard time committing to the idea of weekly attendance at church. On this she says “I believe in being the church. I believe in attending a church. I just don’t like to do it.” Her feminist views also infuse a bit of humor, such as when she mentions changing all the he’s to her’s and the Father’s to Mother’s while singing hymns “in order to enact a dose of liturgical affirmative action on behalf of the female sex.”
If I had to offer one criticism, and it’s a very small one, it would be that the timeline is challenging to follow. It’s sometimes unclear whether something she describes happened in the past, perhaps when she was living in a different city, or more recently. This ultimately has very little impact on the narrative because her stories aren’t dependent on a sense of time or place.
I think you may need to have some interest in or history of experience with religion to really appreciate this book, because a substantial part of it is an exploration of faith. I never felt like the author was trying to convert the reader or push her viewpoint, however, and I found this book smart, beautifully written, and immensely enjoyable.
I’m slightly surprised to report that I really enjoyed it! I read the entire thing on one of those lazy rainy days when leaving the couch seems like an impossibility. It is a book about religion. Mostly, however, it’s one woman’s story of her own quest to find a place to belong within the world of her faith. She never struggles with her belief in God but questions how it fits within tangible day to day life among other believers. Reflections on Christianity and biblical verses are seamlessly integrated with tales of the places she’s lived, communities she’s a part of, and her marriage and family.
Lane very nearly manages to never come across as preachy thanks to her willingness to expose her own quirks and flaws. She has a hard time committing to the idea of weekly attendance at church. On this she says “I believe in being the church. I believe in attending a church. I just don’t like to do it.” Her feminist views also infuse a bit of humor, such as when she mentions changing all the he’s to her’s and the Father’s to Mother’s while singing hymns “in order to enact a dose of liturgical affirmative action on behalf of the female sex.”
If I had to offer one criticism, and it’s a very small one, it would be that the timeline is challenging to follow. It’s sometimes unclear whether something she describes happened in the past, perhaps when she was living in a different city, or more recently. This ultimately has very little impact on the narrative because her stories aren’t dependent on a sense of time or place.
I think you may need to have some interest in or history of experience with religion to really appreciate this book, because a substantial part of it is an exploration of faith. I never felt like the author was trying to convert the reader or push her viewpoint, however, and I found this book smart, beautifully written, and immensely enjoyable.
brendaclay's review against another edition
4.0
I won a copy of this at Cara Meredith's blog! Erin Lane examines her own history with the Church and community, and how the true meaning of belonging is changing on a large scale (especially with millennials). Very insightful.
alisarae's review against another edition
3.0
I’m not a commitment phobe, and you would think that after being in churches my whole life, there is no place that I would feel like I belong or fit-in more. I feel solidly about my core beliefs that are common across all major Christian denominations. I’ve visited more styles of Christian gatherings than the average seminary student, thanks to my parents experimenting with different theologies, lots of travel, and my birthright from the ‘Show-Me State’ (Missouri).
What attracted me to Lessons in Belonging from a Church-Going Commitment Phobe was a creeping feeling that after living only a quarter of my life I’m already getting burned out on church. I was looking for some strong words that would make me wince but not sting (a complete stranger is sometimes best for this), and point out that yes, church is worth the effort.
Erin S. Lane did not disappoint. She and I have a lot in common: grumpy introversion, haters of small talk, good at justifying excuses to ourselves, curmudgeonly feminists… and I underlined most of the book, not because 100% of it was SO GOOD IT WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE, but because I recognized myself in her. Like this sentence that is not only my physical reality about my presence in church, but my mental one as well: ‘An increasing number of folks my age are choosing to live on the edge of belonging; we may not be fully in or fully out, but we are not “nones.”’ (‘Nones’ is the current buzzword to describe millennials that believe a higher power exists but aren’t interested in participating in organized religion.)
Part memoir, part advice, Lane writes about how her fear of commitment led her to hopping around the country and wrestling with herself about trying to become part of yet another church full of stale platitudes, alienating patriarchal language, and awkward meet-and-mingle sessions. At the same time, she was working for a Quaker retreat organization, so many of her lessons stem from attitudes of honest acknowledgement and acceptance of reality that are common in Quaker teachings.
Belonging, she decided, is not about conforming with what other people do, say, or believe. You can have different opinions, interests, backgrounds, education, and languages. ‘Belonging didn’t chiefly depend on whether a community accepted me but whether I was able to offer myself to them.’
Becoming disillusioned is part of the process of belonging--disillusioned in the sense of tearing down the illusions that we construct in order to ‘fit in’. It’s being honest about what your resources and talents are, and offering those. It’s about acknowledging what other people are good at and accepting what they are offering. It’s about revealing weakness in order to accept others’ gifts. It’s shifting the responsibility of belonging from other people to yourself. It’s showing up, being present, and serving others.
P.S. If you are tired of other Christians preaching at you, gag a little when you hear the word ‘relevant’, are annoyed by petty theological discussions, and couldn’t care less if the entire Christian celebrity industry with all of its books got taken up to the heavens in a chariot of fire (which would hopefully burn said books) tomorrow, then this book will probably be fine for you to read because it has none of those things.
Honest review given in exchange for a chance to read it and an e-arc.
What attracted me to Lessons in Belonging from a Church-Going Commitment Phobe was a creeping feeling that after living only a quarter of my life I’m already getting burned out on church. I was looking for some strong words that would make me wince but not sting (a complete stranger is sometimes best for this), and point out that yes, church is worth the effort.
Erin S. Lane did not disappoint. She and I have a lot in common: grumpy introversion, haters of small talk, good at justifying excuses to ourselves, curmudgeonly feminists… and I underlined most of the book, not because 100% of it was SO GOOD IT WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE, but because I recognized myself in her. Like this sentence that is not only my physical reality about my presence in church, but my mental one as well: ‘An increasing number of folks my age are choosing to live on the edge of belonging; we may not be fully in or fully out, but we are not “nones.”’ (‘Nones’ is the current buzzword to describe millennials that believe a higher power exists but aren’t interested in participating in organized religion.)
Part memoir, part advice, Lane writes about how her fear of commitment led her to hopping around the country and wrestling with herself about trying to become part of yet another church full of stale platitudes, alienating patriarchal language, and awkward meet-and-mingle sessions. At the same time, she was working for a Quaker retreat organization, so many of her lessons stem from attitudes of honest acknowledgement and acceptance of reality that are common in Quaker teachings.
Belonging, she decided, is not about conforming with what other people do, say, or believe. You can have different opinions, interests, backgrounds, education, and languages. ‘Belonging didn’t chiefly depend on whether a community accepted me but whether I was able to offer myself to them.’
Becoming disillusioned is part of the process of belonging--disillusioned in the sense of tearing down the illusions that we construct in order to ‘fit in’. It’s being honest about what your resources and talents are, and offering those. It’s about acknowledging what other people are good at and accepting what they are offering. It’s about revealing weakness in order to accept others’ gifts. It’s shifting the responsibility of belonging from other people to yourself. It’s showing up, being present, and serving others.
P.S. If you are tired of other Christians preaching at you, gag a little when you hear the word ‘relevant’, are annoyed by petty theological discussions, and couldn’t care less if the entire Christian celebrity industry with all of its books got taken up to the heavens in a chariot of fire (which would hopefully burn said books) tomorrow, then this book will probably be fine for you to read because it has none of those things.
Honest review given in exchange for a chance to read it and an e-arc.
shakespeareyen's review
3.0
The author and I are very different in many ways, but we can agree on what matters most at the core. She writes so poetically and though I got kind of lost at some points on how it related to the main point/purpose of the book, I think she got the main idea thoroughly. There were some points that I’m not too sure I believe, but I appreciate her honesty and willingness to call herself out on things that she knows is a lie that she can’t shake. More than advice on belonging, I definitely felt affirmed in my need to belong and how church community plays a role in that, as well as how I should play a mutual role in church community.
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