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3.63 AVERAGE
3.63 AVERAGE
emotional
reflective
sad
tense
fast-paced
Vicki and her sister are estranged from their parents, living an isolated existence in Canada. Finally, after years of shutting everyone out, EMS arrived on the scene when her mother had a fall. The daughters enter their parents’ lives again and discover some disturbing stories about what’s been going on: their mother (difficult, ill)has been controlling their father. The memoir takes place in the fallout: in the hospital, caring for their father.
I enjoyed reading this memoir, mainly for the writer's humorous tone which held me throughout. The influence of place, so beautifully described, on the characters and their emotions was powerful. The mother: "Mad as a meat axe" says it all. I was a little disappointed in the lack of reveal of the actions that propelled the author out of the landscape and country in her youth but applaud her for putting pen to paper to explore painful memories and the dismantling of a family home with aged parents. Eloquently written.
dark
reflective
tense
fast-paced
Beautiful writing. More backstory earlier on would’ve helped establish a “showing” versus “telling” narrative, though the suggestion does feel a bit voyeuristic (but perhaps reading a memoir of parental abuse is inherently voyeuristic)
I'm not sure what this book is about. At first it seemed to be a memoir about an abusive mother and what happens after she breaks her hip in old age, and how the elder daughter feels she has to save her father. This could have been interesting except we only ever hear about a couple of terrible things the mother did (which were terrible) in snatches of memory. And we never get to 'meet' the mother; we only hear second hand what she has supposedly said and done. All the way through I felt that the daughter was putting up a side she wanted us to see. Of course, that's the case in all memoirs but with this one it was too obvious. After the mother is 'dealt' with, the story moves on to the father's old age, trouble with her sister, trying to help from a long distance...I'm not sure where the book was going, why it ended when it did, or as I said, what it was about. I'm afraid there are lots of my irritated scrawls all through the text. Let's just say that this wasn't a book for me.
Beautifully written but I found the structure frustrating and the some of vagueness left me feeling like I wasn’t as attached as I could have been
This book leaves you wanting more. It is based on the author's mother's mental illness and you want to know more. The author dances around the topic of how horrible the past was living with her mother and growing up. But leaves the reader to use their imagination as to why it was so bad. The most she lets on is a story about cutting her hair with scissors. You know that there is more but you aren't told. This can be frustrating but out of respect to the author, I understand.
The book also jumps time a lot and can be confusing.
The book also jumps time a lot and can be confusing.
I am glad I listened to this as an audiobook, as the author reads it herself, with her Canadian accent and wry sense of humour that lifts the words from the page. I found this memoir of dealing with the effects of her mother's delusions on her family extremely familiar, and it resurrected memories of my Nana I had long thought forgotten. The flamboyant clothing, the reading of novels in a multitude of languages, the claims to be all kinds of professors, the hoarding, the enslavement of my grandfather as a menial drudge, the 'how dare you disobey me' expression, the physical assault of people at the post office or supermarket, the get-rich-quick schemes and land scams she poured my grandfather's pension money into, the ingratiating of herself into the Yorkshire Ripper police investigation, the OTT home decor like she lived in the Tsar's Winter Palace, the spinning of so many identities that no one knew who she really was, and the final act of dying alone in an institution.
I cannot gauge the literary impact of this book on others, as my personal associations are so strong. I suppose some readers might marvel that there are such erratic people in the world. There are. And they hurt their families, who try to live as normally as they can. Until brought back into their orbit.
I cannot gauge the literary impact of this book on others, as my personal associations are so strong. I suppose some readers might marvel that there are such erratic people in the world. There are. And they hurt their families, who try to live as normally as they can. Until brought back into their orbit.
She focuses on the story that she wants to tell -- dealing with her manipulative mother and her manipulated father at the end of their lives. There is deep childhood trauma, to which she says she has no memory as her sister carries it all for both of them.
dark
reflective
medium-paced
its always difficult to put a rating on someones life story, and this one especially so. the focus of this book is on how a pair of adult children handle their aging parents, one an abuser and the other a bystander to their abuse growing up and then a victim himself, once vicki and her sister had grown up and become estranged from their parents. so many memoirs focus on the specifics of ones childhood trauma, so this was an interesting and different take on the issue, and from an author who cant really dive into the details because of gaps in her memory. so its understandable that we dont get the details. moreover, i appreciate that this book presents the fact of their abusive childhood as fact without detail; we dont have to know every little thing to accept that. we arent entitled to the play by play.
that being said, however, the writing did feel very distant, almost emotionless, and so i felt disconnected. it also jumps around in time in a way that i found difficult to follow.
the writing was beautiful and i appreciate how much complexity each person was allowed on the page. not a perfect memoir for me but definitely compelling
that being said, however, the writing did feel very distant, almost emotionless, and so i felt disconnected. it also jumps around in time in a way that i found difficult to follow.
the writing was beautiful and i appreciate how much complexity each person was allowed on the page. not a perfect memoir for me but definitely compelling
Really good! Recommend! Just an interesting, well written, real-life story