Reviews tagging 'Suicidal thoughts'

A Dowry of Blood by S.T. Gibson

20 reviews

crybabybea's review against another edition

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dark emotional fast-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? No

4.0

Dark and gorgeous. I was constantly impressed by S.T. Gibson's writing, from her ability to set scenes with palpable energy, to crafting allegories that would fit right into classic gothic literature, to perfecting every word used to add tone and emotion. Definitely the best part of this is the writing, hands down. S.T. Gibson elegantly crafted a lush gothic setting, and although we spend most of the book in the head of our narrator Constanta, the world behind it feels atmospheric and dark.

If you dislike melodramatic writing, you will probably roll your eyes, but I ate it uppp. Here's an example of one of my many favorite quotes:
Don’t ask me why I did it. 
I was tired of being your Mary Magdalene. I was tired of waiting expectantly at your tomb every night for you to rise and bring light into my world once again. I was tired of groveling on my knees and washing blood off your heels with my hair and tears. I was tired of having the air sucked out of my lungs every time your eyes cut right to the heart of me. I was tired of the circumference of the whole universe living in your circled arms, of the spark of life hiding in your kiss, of the power of death lying in wait in your teeth. I was tired of carrying around the weight of a love like worship, of the sickly-warm rush of idolatry coloring my whole world.
 I was tired of faithfulness. 
I made you into my private Christ, supplicated with my own dark devotions. Nothing existed beyond the range of your exacting gaze, not even me. I was simply a non-entity when you weren’t looking at me, an empty vessel waiting to be filled by the sweet water of your attention. 
A woman can’t live like that, my lord. No one can. Don’t ask me why I did it. 
God, forgive me. 
Christ, forgive me. 

There isn't much in terms of a plot since it heavily focuses on Constanta and her relationships with Dracula and his other consorts. Because Dracula is controlling and hides as much as he can from the characters, there isn't much in terms of world-building and it's not the kind of book that explores vampiric power. It isn't a fun paranormal book with thrilling twists and magical settings. 

Instead, the author takes us through Constanta's struggles in an abusive, coercive relationship, which fits perfectly in the gothic world she sets up for us. The writing is strung along with confusion, like you know something isn't right but you almost want to convince yourself that you're reading too much into things and seeing things that aren't there. I think it's such a brilliant way to portray a relationship like this, filled with constant gaslighting, walking on eggshells, fear and anxiety. It's a bittersweet journey to take as you watch Constanta swing from devotion to terror so quickly, and the way she is programmed by her abuser's behavior to watch for every tiny micro expression and hidden meaning behind every word he speaks, until the very end when after centuries of abuse she snaps and determines to find her way out.

The way the novel is written is super unique as well, an epistolary story written in second-person perspective. Constanta details her life in letters addressed to her abuser in hopes of explaining why she felt she had to make the choices she made. 

I found the ending brilliant and incredibly accurate to what it feels like to finally cut yourself loose from an abuser; it's not only full of rage and hatred but also love and grief, and as much as you are grieving the glimpses of happiness you found during your abuse, you grieve the life you could have had, the years wasted, the confusion and the intoxication of adoration and passion mixed with hatred and anger. I really loved this portrayal so much.

The novel does include sexual content, but I didn't find the sex scenes to be about pleasuring the reader like typical smut scenes do. To me, they served to depict the intense passion wrapped up in all of the character's lives, the way they clung to each other and the way they defined love for themselves in a space that was suffocating and controlling. The codependency and the way they loved each other like family made the scenes feel less sexually gratifying and more for the purpose of storytelling and furthering the bonds between the characters.
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karleeursta's review against another edition

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challenging dark emotional reflective sad tense medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? It's complicated
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

Strong trigger warnings for relationship violence and interpersonal abuse. It’s a beautiful story but it is very difficult subject matter that not everyone might be prepared for all the time. For those who are emotionally and mentally prepared, it’s a moving and powerful message of hope and survival that provides sympathy for and understanding of survivors of abusive relationships. 
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wickeddelights's review against another edition

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dark emotional hopeful inspiring reflective sad tense medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

I loved this book. It made me feel so many things, and gave name and words to parts of myself still healing. It is told in a beautiful and impactful way, and it is inspiring. A story of survival, and self actualization, reflection, and love. I am so glad I read it, and proud to call this my first 5* read of 2024
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izzy_bella_02's review

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challenging dark emotional reflective sad medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.25

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ttmena's review

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dark tense

5.0

Beautiful and romantic and horrific and dark. I was heartbroken and then sewn back up. I’ll think about this book for a long, long time. 

“I should have said no. I should have stamped my foot, or begun to cry, or icily demanded we leave right away. But I didn’t. I loved you too much, my lord. I craved you like maidens crave the grave, the way death burns for human touch: inconsolably, unrelentingly, aching for the annihilation in your kiss. I had no practice saying no to you.”
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livfowler's review

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challenging dark emotional hopeful mysterious reflective sad tense fast-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? A mix
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? It's complicated
  • Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

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ameliabee33's review against another edition

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dark emotional mysterious sad tense fast-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? It's complicated
  • Loveable characters? It's complicated
  • Diverse cast of characters? No
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.25

Bonds forged by blood can only be broken by death.

"A Dowry of Blood" is a poignant tale of Dracula's wives, the tale of the abuse Constanta and the other consorts face at the hands of a monster. Constanta was the first, the oldest, she has existed with him the longest. Learned how to make herself in his image, so she can stay safe. The others don't know how to do that. Until they do. Constanta wants out, but escaping an abuser isn't easy, especially when she has two others to worry about. Together, the three consort unwrap the mystery that is their husband, lover, in the search for freedom. But monsters don't let their prey go easily. 

This is a story of abuse. It isn't a lighthearted book, it portrays and shows in detail what it is like living in an abusive relationship - so please check the tws before you dive in. It shows how difficult it is to break out and escape from the abuser. It also shows the lengths the abused will go to justify their abusers actions. Because he loved his wives. He really did. He just took away their autonomy and freedom. 

He's a good man Savannah! (Not really)

It is written from the perspective of Constanta, in a series of letters to her beloved, justifying why she and the others did what they did. The prose is very lyrical and I found the letter format to be a very compelling mode of telling the story. Readers really get drawn into the relationships between all the characters from Constanta's pov because she is always there, watching. Her realization that this isn't how love is supposed to be and her initiative to investigate her beloved to be a great start of a character arc for her. However, it was short and rushed, I believe it should have gotten more on-page time. I wanted more evidence of growth of Constanta's character on page. I was left with the feeling thay the revenge plotlinr was only half done.

The relationship between Constanta, Magdalena, and Alexi is very sweet at times, that they have such love and support from one another. However, Constanta takes on a sort of "mother" role with Magdalena and Alexi which makes their romantic physical relationship a bit odd to me. As I was reading it, it just felt weird. There is some comments where Magdalena insists that her and Constanta become sisters. And then there are many times where Constanta refers to Alexi as her son, the only relationship they have is emotional (until it's not). I know they aren't biologically related, but I'm just personally not into the taboo and it came off as awkward while reading it.
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kitanda's review against another edition

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dark emotional tense medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? It's complicated
  • Loveable characters? It's complicated
  • Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

3.5

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puddles_of_ink's review

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dark emotional mysterious reflective tense medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? No
  • Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.75

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watsontheslytherin's review against another edition

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challenging dark emotional mysterious reflective sad tense slow-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.75

Beautiful prose... Just beautiful descriptions of even the most toxic and evil situations/sentiments. I've never read depression put in such a mesmerising way. I love the contrast between a love so toxic and a love so nurturing. The only reason it's not a 5 star it's because it can be a little repetitive in some points... But despite that, very easy and enjoyable read.
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