You need to sign in or sign up before continuing.
Take a photo of a barcode or cover
3.33 AVERAGE
3.33 AVERAGE
This book is paper thin and torn between wanting to be a queer bodice ripper, an exploration of trauma from being raised in a cult, and an adventure story. Incoherent overall.
K.M. Szpara, the author of Docile, is back again with a new novel: First, Become Ashes. It's another LGBT adventure that will almost certainly divide readers into two distinct groups.
Lark has spent most of his life training for a righteous quest, one that involved monsters and magic. Both he and his partner, Kane, were forced to wear cages in order to prepare for this quest. Cages that were supposedly designed to help bring out their inner magic.
Imagine Lark's surprise when the government raids the compound he knew as home, arresting the leader on multiple counts of abuse and assault. That was the moment that Lark's life changed in ways that will be impossible to understand fully.
“Kane looks like the hero he was meant to be. Humanity's savior. Ours.”
Once again, I find myself extremely conflicted, thanks to K.M. Szpara's writing. Docile left me uncomfortable and uncertain about the message it was trying to tell. Likewise, First, Become Ashes is a disconcerting read.
I understand and acknowledge that this was intentional on the author's part. There's a clear line of commentary that happens within these pages. My larger concern is that I'm not sure any of those thoughts or arguments are brought to completion. It feels like they're left hanging, with the moral of the story left unsaid. When dealing with such heavy subjects, that feels like a mistake; I'm sorry to say.
I do want to take a moment to discuss some of the trigger warnings that are in First, Become Ashes because they are numerous. Nearly every page feels worthy of a warning. There are constant scenes of abuse, both of the physical and psychological variety. This abuse crosses the line into torture on more than one occasion. Likewise, there's a significant amount of sexual trauma within these pages, involving assault, lack of consent, and many more highly disturbing scenes. Oh, I almost forgot some warnings. Yes, there are THAT many. There's also self-harm, cults, sadomasochistic violence. I think that covers it.
Long story short: I'm once again stuck on how to review First, Become Ashes. It's absolutely a story that many readers will love. It's also a story that so many will find triggering and uncomfortable, myself included. My advice would be to look up those warnings and make the best decision for you and your comfort levels.
Thanks to Tor.com and #NetGalley for making this book available for review. All opinions expressed are my own.
Check out more reviews over at Quirky Cat's Fat Stacks
Lark has spent most of his life training for a righteous quest, one that involved monsters and magic. Both he and his partner, Kane, were forced to wear cages in order to prepare for this quest. Cages that were supposedly designed to help bring out their inner magic.
Imagine Lark's surprise when the government raids the compound he knew as home, arresting the leader on multiple counts of abuse and assault. That was the moment that Lark's life changed in ways that will be impossible to understand fully.
“Kane looks like the hero he was meant to be. Humanity's savior. Ours.”
Once again, I find myself extremely conflicted, thanks to K.M. Szpara's writing. Docile left me uncomfortable and uncertain about the message it was trying to tell. Likewise, First, Become Ashes is a disconcerting read.
I understand and acknowledge that this was intentional on the author's part. There's a clear line of commentary that happens within these pages. My larger concern is that I'm not sure any of those thoughts or arguments are brought to completion. It feels like they're left hanging, with the moral of the story left unsaid. When dealing with such heavy subjects, that feels like a mistake; I'm sorry to say.
I do want to take a moment to discuss some of the trigger warnings that are in First, Become Ashes because they are numerous. Nearly every page feels worthy of a warning. There are constant scenes of abuse, both of the physical and psychological variety. This abuse crosses the line into torture on more than one occasion. Likewise, there's a significant amount of sexual trauma within these pages, involving assault, lack of consent, and many more highly disturbing scenes. Oh, I almost forgot some warnings. Yes, there are THAT many. There's also self-harm, cults, sadomasochistic violence. I think that covers it.
Long story short: I'm once again stuck on how to review First, Become Ashes. It's absolutely a story that many readers will love. It's also a story that so many will find triggering and uncomfortable, myself included. My advice would be to look up those warnings and make the best decision for you and your comfort levels.
Thanks to Tor.com and #NetGalley for making this book available for review. All opinions expressed are my own.
Check out more reviews over at Quirky Cat's Fat Stacks
adventurous
dark
emotional
hopeful
medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
A mix
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Yes
Diverse cast of characters:
Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Complicated
Within modern Baltimore there is a group of people living in a world of magic. But this magic comes from a place of darkness and abuse.
When that world comes tumbling down a true believer, Lark, is left scrambling as he tries to figure who to trust and what to believe and an outsider, Calvin, is hoping for a smidge of Lark’s magic to be real.
When that world comes tumbling down a true believer, Lark, is left scrambling as he tries to figure who to trust and what to believe and an outsider, Calvin, is hoping for a smidge of Lark’s magic to be real.
A complicated book.
This reading was at times very difficult to bear.
Lark is a character that hurts because of how much his naivety exposes him. It made me want to hug him and take care of him.
It's certainly not a story for everyone, but it's still a book that grabs you and leaves you wondering. Thinking of too many issues.
It was not five star like Docile but it is certainly interesting and challenging.
This reading was at times very difficult to bear.
Lark is a character that hurts because of how much his naivety exposes him. It made me want to hug him and take care of him.
It's certainly not a story for everyone, but it's still a book that grabs you and leaves you wondering. Thinking of too many issues.
It was not five star like Docile but it is certainly interesting and challenging.
I picked up this ARC sight unseen because I loved Szpara's DOCILE. Although harrowing, it was so different and fresh that I wanted to read more from Szpara. FIRST, BECOME ASHES continues in a similar vein, exploring the connection between sex, trauma, and pleasure. Here, there is a cult living in the middle of Baltimore on a private property. The people who live there - the Fellowship of the Anointed - know that there is an outside world, but they've never experienced it. When they turn 25, they are permitted to leave and go on a quest, to slay the monsters who dwell outside. At first, I did not realize that this story was set in the present day, and I expected the characters to be confronting fantastical monsters. And the presence of magic in its many forms - and the question of what is real - pervades the entire story. It's like a prism - when you look one way, it's one thing, and when you look the other way, it's another. I couldn't stop reading the book, even when terrible things happened. Szpara draws the reader in with pitch-perfect characterization and exciting moments throughout the plot.
well, I didn't realize this was fantasy. like intense-magic-fantasy. the cover doesn't look like it at all. still gone read it though, because (a) both 1st chapter and the overall premise are cool, (b) I have an inherent trust in everything K.M. Szpara writes
3.5 stars. This book is kind of a meditation on pain and healing and whether magic is real. I'm going to need to reread (or listen to it) to absorb more of what it has to say. I felt like the plot kind of wriggled helplessly on the ground a bit, but overall I think there's a lot of interesting stuff in here.
Content warnings:
Content warnings:
Spoiler
physical and sexual abuse, including of children; violence; infliction of massive physical scars; cult conditioning; deprogramming; sense of unreality
obsessed with how bad this is ❤️ if you've heard me talking about how my 2022 reading resolution is to stop reading books I know I'm gonna hate.............that starts NOW
This was something unlike any book I have ever read. This was an adult lgbt sci fi-fantasy told in multiple points of view.
The Fellowship of the Anointed is where Lark and Kane have grown up. They are partners. They love and care for each other in every sense of the word. But when Kane realizes that the Fellowship is not a good place and that they are being abused there under the guise of magic and knowledge, he is determined to get out...
Lark has been raised with the one solid belief that he will kill monsters one day to protect The Fellowship. It is what he has trained for his whole life. At the age of 25, they are sent off into the world to do their magical duty and Kane is leaving before Lark. But he never expected for the next time he sees Kane to be when he is flanked by SWAT and government officials. And he doesn’t trust any of them. They say that Nova, the leader of the Fellowship, is bad. They say that this is a life of abuse and manipulation... but Lark doesn’t believe it and he flees.
When Calvin finds Lark alone in an alleyway, he immediately recognizes him from the news. And he decides then and there to help the man.
But what is the truth? Is Lark’s magic real? Are the monsters he has been trained to fight and kill real? The truth about the Fellowship is shocking and heartbreaking. Content warnings should be made apparent in the beginning of this book as there are some graphic depictions of sexual abuse in these pages.
I loved this story as it unfolded. I felt so strongly for Lark and Kane. And I loved the bond between them. I also enjoyed that normal relationship boundaries were not confirmed to... I loved the strong use of pronouns and how they were asked at the meeting of each person. This was a tough pill to swallow, though. I am eager to go back and read Szpara’s previous work.
The Fellowship of the Anointed is where Lark and Kane have grown up. They are partners. They love and care for each other in every sense of the word. But when Kane realizes that the Fellowship is not a good place and that they are being abused there under the guise of magic and knowledge, he is determined to get out...
Lark has been raised with the one solid belief that he will kill monsters one day to protect The Fellowship. It is what he has trained for his whole life. At the age of 25, they are sent off into the world to do their magical duty and Kane is leaving before Lark. But he never expected for the next time he sees Kane to be when he is flanked by SWAT and government officials. And he doesn’t trust any of them. They say that Nova, the leader of the Fellowship, is bad. They say that this is a life of abuse and manipulation... but Lark doesn’t believe it and he flees.
When Calvin finds Lark alone in an alleyway, he immediately recognizes him from the news. And he decides then and there to help the man.
But what is the truth? Is Lark’s magic real? Are the monsters he has been trained to fight and kill real? The truth about the Fellowship is shocking and heartbreaking. Content warnings should be made apparent in the beginning of this book as there are some graphic depictions of sexual abuse in these pages.
I loved this story as it unfolded. I felt so strongly for Lark and Kane. And I loved the bond between them. I also enjoyed that normal relationship boundaries were not confirmed to... I loved the strong use of pronouns and how they were asked at the meeting of each person. This was a tough pill to swallow, though. I am eager to go back and read Szpara’s previous work.