Reviews with content warning for Physical abuse - First, Become Ashes

I was kind of afraid I wouldn't be in the right frame of mind to read this, based on its trigger warnings, that it would be too heavy. And, while it deals with heavy things, it is written with lightness and healing. The narrative moves fast with a propulsive mix of plot and character development moving in tandem. Set in an alternate America where a cult has bought up a park and former zoo in the middle of Baltimore, it spends only one chapter in that insular place before exploding the cult member's lives and having their sanctuary raided by the FBI. So as readers we don't ever get an objective view of the Fellowship of the Anointed - we focus on 5 of its members, 2 most of the time, with the leader shown in flashbacks, and we see the daily life through the perspectives of the members, which are unreliable as far as our reality goes, especially for Lark, who believes wholly in the destiny and purpose of the Anointed. These are children raised apart from their biological parents, partnered in order to produce magic through pain and care, so they can go out into the world to fight monsters and FOEs at age 25. These missions seem doomed to fail in many ways, but especially because the first one to reach 25 doesn't believe anymore. Once the cult is raided, the story becomes a chase and a quest, following Lark as he forms a tentative alliance with two outsiders and tries to use his magic to find the monster he must defeat while evading the FBI. Along the way he wrestles with what he's been taught, with the loneliness he feels now that he's in the world and betrayed by his partner, and with the crush he's developing on Calvin, one of the outsiders helping him. It's really a lovely story about defining friendship, love, and family for yourself, for taking what served you from a former life and divorcing it from abuse and hurt, and finding and healing yourself. Also some hot sex scenes, uncomfortably mixed in with memories of nonconsensual abuse from the elders in the cult - I definitely see the truth in the criticisms that the rape was voyeuristic.

Content Warnings

surefinewhatever_'s review against another edition

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adventurous challenging dark emotional mysterious sad tense medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.5

Magic (or maybe not?), cults, fandom culture, queer folks who get to exist and go on quests, this book hit so many marks for me. The themes of friendship and support and trust were really compelling. Though the darker parts of this book were incredibly hard for me to stomach (so please refer to the Trigger Warnings). I also felt that the author didn’t even need to include Deryn’s perspective to the split narrative. It wasn’t as present or fleshed out as the others, nor did it have much to offer to the story or plot. Overall, Deryn felt further neglected (which whether that irony because of Deryn’s story was intentional or not, tough to say). I think the text would have been stronger had that been scrapped. The rest of the then/now split worked for me, and it made sense to see Lark, Kane, & Calvin on this journey. This is a really heavy read about navigating trauma, life outside of a cult, and the possibility of magic. Moving, but tough tough tough.

Content Warnings

arithegnome's review against another edition

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challenging dark emotional medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

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