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“If you are not a sexual-abuse survivor, you may be wondering how on earth girls get through such experiences, but if you are a survivor, you probably understand all too well.” (Feuereisen, Patti. Invisible Girls: The Truth about Sexual Abuse. Kindle-Version).
Yes, that’s true. And it makes me so sad, angry and frustrated that there is a need for these books at all. That being said, Feuereisen’s book can be incredibly helpful for survivors who want to work through their pain, and it also is something that people who want to support survivors should read.
Feuereisen is a well-known psychotherapist and leading expert on sexual abuse, with many years of professional experience in helping girls and women, and in Invisible Girls you can see this at work. Whether it is the way she explains problems and situations or the way she lets victims of abuse talk and adds her own perspective, Feuereisen’s explanations and statements are clear, empathetic and supportive.
One point she keeps coming back to is how she sees what is clinically known as disassociation, a kind of mental escape from the threatening situation you are in. While the gruesome reality harms them, some girls and women create their own worlds in these moments, a place with positive connotations, basically a place that allows them n o t to feel. Feuereisen stresses how this is a valid and positive way of surviving mentally when you cannot physically get out of the violent abuse situation.
Just imagine yourself after sexual abuse and you hear someone allude that you are crazy because you tried to block out what was going on when it happened. For me, something like this happening is just like an additional slap in the face, and it is why I love Feuereisen’s far more positive approach so much, because she listens to the girl or woman and takes a valid strategy of survival seriously.
“Don’t let anyone ever tell you that you were crazy for leaving your body. Just know that you were taking care of yourself. Don’t let anyone tell you this is denial. It is survival. When we’re so unsafe, we have to create our own safety.” (Feuereisen, Patti. Invisible Girls: The Truth about Sexual Abuse. Kindle-Version).
You can see Patti Feuereisen’s expertise throughout the book, and she knows very well how to tackle such a terrible topic in a way that is meant to help survivors and those who want to support them.
6 out of 5 stars.
Yes, that’s true. And it makes me so sad, angry and frustrated that there is a need for these books at all. That being said, Feuereisen’s book can be incredibly helpful for survivors who want to work through their pain, and it also is something that people who want to support survivors should read.
Feuereisen is a well-known psychotherapist and leading expert on sexual abuse, with many years of professional experience in helping girls and women, and in Invisible Girls you can see this at work. Whether it is the way she explains problems and situations or the way she lets victims of abuse talk and adds her own perspective, Feuereisen’s explanations and statements are clear, empathetic and supportive.
One point she keeps coming back to is how she sees what is clinically known as disassociation, a kind of mental escape from the threatening situation you are in. While the gruesome reality harms them, some girls and women create their own worlds in these moments, a place with positive connotations, basically a place that allows them n o t to feel. Feuereisen stresses how this is a valid and positive way of surviving mentally when you cannot physically get out of the violent abuse situation.
Just imagine yourself after sexual abuse and you hear someone allude that you are crazy because you tried to block out what was going on when it happened. For me, something like this happening is just like an additional slap in the face, and it is why I love Feuereisen’s far more positive approach so much, because she listens to the girl or woman and takes a valid strategy of survival seriously.
“Don’t let anyone ever tell you that you were crazy for leaving your body. Just know that you were taking care of yourself. Don’t let anyone tell you this is denial. It is survival. When we’re so unsafe, we have to create our own safety.” (Feuereisen, Patti. Invisible Girls: The Truth about Sexual Abuse. Kindle-Version).
You can see Patti Feuereisen’s expertise throughout the book, and she knows very well how to tackle such a terrible topic in a way that is meant to help survivors and those who want to support them.
6 out of 5 stars.
challenging
dark
emotional
informative
sad
medium-paced
Content Warnings
Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Child abuse, Emotional abuse, Incest, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Rape, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Gaslighting, Sexual harassment
Overall I liked this book.
HOWEVER. The author stated some pretty strong opinions that I disagree with.
First, she talks like only girls are victims of sexual abuse. There are a few places where she shares experiences about boys, but not even a chapter? I know it's a book for girls, but teen girls should know that men get abused too. Also, the book claims to be about sexual abuse as a whole, so it shouldn't ignore that population.
Second, the brief section on pedophilia doesn't jive with the information I learned in class. My class could very well be wrong, but her book is now ten years old, so there's a good chance her research on the subject is outdated.
Third, why is this author stating her opinion so much in this book? The book is supposed to be "the truth" about sexual abuse. Is what the author says "the truth?" Because there were few supporting sources compared to the length of the book.
I would have liked to read a more comprehensive book on the topic. I'm not saying Patti shouldn't have her opinion in there, but there is a way to make data interesting and accessible to teen girls. Or at least include differing opinions.
I guess I'll have to read a different book on this topic to get what I really wanted from it.
HOWEVER. The author stated some pretty strong opinions that I disagree with.
First, she talks like only girls are victims of sexual abuse. There are a few places where she shares experiences about boys, but not even a chapter? I know it's a book for girls, but teen girls should know that men get abused too. Also, the book claims to be about sexual abuse as a whole, so it shouldn't ignore that population.
Second, the brief section on pedophilia doesn't jive with the information I learned in class. My class could very well be wrong, but her book is now ten years old, so there's a good chance her research on the subject is outdated.
Third, why is this author stating her opinion so much in this book? The book is supposed to be "the truth" about sexual abuse. Is what the author says "the truth?" Because there were few supporting sources compared to the length of the book.
I would have liked to read a more comprehensive book on the topic. I'm not saying Patti shouldn't have her opinion in there, but there is a way to make data interesting and accessible to teen girls. Or at least include differing opinions.
I guess I'll have to read a different book on this topic to get what I really wanted from it.
I'm a victim advocate who has worked with both sexual violence and domestic violence survivors and I frequently recommend this book to those looking to read. It's a must have for the office of any victim advocate who works in these fields, counselors with clients who are survivors, or resource center. Dr. Patti Feurereisen lets the voices of these survivors take the lead throughout the book, never speaking over the experiences of others and always providing a safe, understanding backdrop for the narratives you read as well as necessary facts and statistics.
I highly, highly recommend it.
I highly, highly recommend it.