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mjoyced's review against another edition
I couldn't finish this book. Maybe it's because I'm so close in age to the generation of girls interviewed that most of the information simultaneously wasn't new/interesting to me and seemed to judge me, but the book seemed so voyeuristic and negative. Everything is bad. Maybe I didn't read far enough to get to the positive things in this book (I hope there were some!), but it was both too boring and too sensationalist to read. It's too bad because I liked a lot of the interviews with Orenstein about this book!
jazminrose's review
3.0
The interviews with young women are what really shine in this book. These voices are relatable, observant, cutting, smart, and so much more. I loved reading their experiences and their ideas. They truly felt like girls and women that I knew personally.
I wish that I could say the same about the author. A lot of what Orenstein has to say is fine, and sometimes even interesting. But a large part of the book felt like her grappling with an evolving world while not evolving her own way of thinking and interacting with that world. Too many of the themes she presented were behind the times and the result was a little bit, “third-wave feminism failing to write about fourth-wave feminism”.
Speaking of behind the times UGH how did some of the language she uses get past an editor? Flip-flopping between pronouns for a trans woman and placing scare quotes around the term little person jumped out at me before I’d even finished the first chapter.
Similarly, the chapter about queer issues rubbed me the wrong way – love that she included this chapter, really DON’T love that she *only* included this chapter. Why wasn’t this woven throughout the entire book, rather than confined to one small section? A section that also focused almost exclusively on online interactions. One of the women being interviewed had spent time questioning her gender, but no trans women were interviewed. Finally, for a book that includes ‘sex’ in the title and candidly discusses that very topic, sex was suspiciously absent from this chapter. It felt very much as though, “love is love but gay SEX is gross and won’t be spoken of”. What a huge missed opportunity this chapter was.
Overall, this book kind of fell flat for me. I’d be interested to see what another writer would have done with the same data and interview subjects. Two of the three stars I’ve given this book belong solely to the young women being interviewed, rather than to the author, as it was their insight and reflections that really stood out.
I’d recommend this book to people interested in the subject matter already and willing to engage critically with the author’s takes. I would NOT recommend it to anyone looking for an intro or primer to this topic, as it feels quite biased at times.
I wish that I could say the same about the author. A lot of what Orenstein has to say is fine, and sometimes even interesting. But a large part of the book felt like her grappling with an evolving world while not evolving her own way of thinking and interacting with that world. Too many of the themes she presented were behind the times and the result was a little bit, “third-wave feminism failing to write about fourth-wave feminism”.
Speaking of behind the times UGH how did some of the language she uses get past an editor? Flip-flopping between pronouns for a trans woman and placing scare quotes around the term little person jumped out at me before I’d even finished the first chapter.
Similarly, the chapter about queer issues rubbed me the wrong way – love that she included this chapter, really DON’T love that she *only* included this chapter. Why wasn’t this woven throughout the entire book, rather than confined to one small section? A section that also focused almost exclusively on online interactions. One of the women being interviewed had spent time questioning her gender, but no trans women were interviewed. Finally, for a book that includes ‘sex’ in the title and candidly discusses that very topic, sex was suspiciously absent from this chapter. It felt very much as though, “love is love but gay SEX is gross and won’t be spoken of”. What a huge missed opportunity this chapter was.
Overall, this book kind of fell flat for me. I’d be interested to see what another writer would have done with the same data and interview subjects. Two of the three stars I’ve given this book belong solely to the young women being interviewed, rather than to the author, as it was their insight and reflections that really stood out.
I’d recommend this book to people interested in the subject matter already and willing to engage critically with the author’s takes. I would NOT recommend it to anyone looking for an intro or primer to this topic, as it feels quite biased at times.
allysonbogie's review against another edition
4.0
I read about half of this book and then had to return it to the library. The part I read was fascinating and also totally disturbing. I have two young daughters and I think I'll return to this book in a few years when they are a bit older. It was helpful to be aware of some of what is going on in with girls now. One major critique I have of the book is that Orenstein says that the majority of the girls who she interviews are upper middle class, many of them in college. I wish that she had spoken with a more diverse group of girls, and been more explicit about the role of culture, color, and economics in the development of girls' sexuality.
camillebotello's review
challenging
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
fast-paced
A really good look at the social dynamics and physical components of teen and young adult girls’ sexual development. Written on the idea of achieving intimate justice for girls and women, the book offers a deep dive into the real things we should be discussing with both our young girls and our young boys before they begin sexual exploration— including the murkiness of what constitutes virginity, reciprocity in oral sex, boundary setting and consent acquiring skills, the myth that intercourse is the pinnacle of sexual activity, the grim cost of parental silence, and what our lives could look like when our young people are told the truth. Definitely recommend the read to anyone and everyone- but especially girls and their parents.
sydthebeesknee's review against another edition
3.0
I do not know how to rate this because it was very readable and Orenstein makes many compelling points. At the same time, the way she talks about trans people and Black people at times is off-putting.
horfhorfhorf's review against another edition
1.0
While Orenstein makes some interesting points, this is little more than easy-reading for alarmists.
sarahhplaut's review
adventurous
challenging
dark
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
slow-paced
4.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Rape
julieveg's review against another edition
3.0
Despite being bogged down in statistics, it had some good information.