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3.63 AVERAGE
3.63 AVERAGE
challenging
dark
emotional
inspiring
slow-paced
This is an outstanding Costa shortlisted biography told by the adult daughter about her family's long history living as Exclusive Brethren, a worldwide fundamentalist religious sect, in Brighton, England through the early 70s. What began as a rather strict religious community in the earlier part of the 20th century quickly evolved into a cult with a change of leadership at the start of the 1960s. This particular leader named Jim Taylor Junior came from New York City to lead the community; he was loud, arrogant, and pushy. He took over when his father, Jim Taylor, the previous Ex Brethren leader passed away. People were bullied, 'shut up' (in seclusion in a room in their homes with regular priestly visits to check up on them), and excommunicated, causing mass suicides because they'd all been told that outside the Ex Brethren there is only Satan and darkness and no chance of Rapture which was very soon to come. In Meeting (held several times a week), only the chosen men surrounded the leader on his pedestal platform, while the rest of the men filled up the front seats and the women and children were made to sit in the back of the room without speaking. The women had to wear headscarves and all dressed very conservatively, fashionable clothes were not allowed, nor was radio, television, or cinema. In fact, there was a hugely long list of what Ex Brethren members were not allowed. When the big scandal with the leader happened in 'Aberdeen,' and the family the story is about finally left the Ex Brethren for the first time in their lives, the story continues to describe their lives after the Brethren living amongst the dangerous 'Worldlies' and acclimating to a new way of life with freedom of choice.
The author divides the story into three parts: Before, During, and Aftermath. The story has an intriguing opening, but gets bogged down in the 'Before' section with family history and the different sects of the Brethren. However, if you can get past 'Before', the story picks back up again in the 'During' and 'After' sections, and made for a compelling read.
The writer's father was a real character! She writes of his passing at the start of the book, and his wish that she tells the story. He had been lucky to have been the last of the Ex Brethren allowed to pursue college. He went to University of Cambridge and graduated right at the time the new leader took away the privilege of attending university to Ex Brethren members at the end of the 1950s. Her father was very interested in Ingmar Bergman films, Keats, Shakespeare, etc. Big gambler, secret life with another family. He spent the rest of his life trying to come to terms with God, his thoughts, and his new freedoms.
The author divides the story into three parts: Before, During, and Aftermath. The story has an intriguing opening, but gets bogged down in the 'Before' section with family history and the different sects of the Brethren. However, if you can get past 'Before', the story picks back up again in the 'During' and 'After' sections, and made for a compelling read.
The writer's father was a real character! She writes of his passing at the start of the book, and his wish that she tells the story. He had been lucky to have been the last of the Ex Brethren allowed to pursue college. He went to University of Cambridge and graduated right at the time the new leader took away the privilege of attending university to Ex Brethren members at the end of the 1950s. Her father was very interested in Ingmar Bergman films, Keats, Shakespeare, etc. Big gambler, secret life with another family. He spent the rest of his life trying to come to terms with God, his thoughts, and his new freedoms.
informative
reflective
fast-paced
If you are interested in a book about a complicated relationship between a daughter and her formerly very religious father then you might enjoy this book. If, instead, your interest is in cults and the mass psychology of them, then you will only like about 15% of this book. It’s not bad, it just drags and talks a lot about dry family history and very little about the cult itself.
If I could rate this with a shrug emoji I would. The language isn’t bad, I just found it largely uninteresting. I only finished it because I was listening on audiobook.
If I could rate this with a shrug emoji I would. The language isn’t bad, I just found it largely uninteresting. I only finished it because I was listening on audiobook.
I was intrigued to read about a family's experience in a cult. More so because of the way the story is told: a father's request of a daughter to chronicle their experience.
Something else that was interesting and that I have not seen in other cult stories is life after it. At times, the book was dry recalling history of the author's ancestors and how the Exclusive Breathen began. I most enjoyed the aftermath where the author slowly discovers the world after bring told that outside is evil and following a set of strict rules.
In true cult fashion the Exclusive Breathen use religion to control it's followers, the reader sees through the lense of a young girl growing up. The rule that Women have no rights and should not speak till spoken to particularly upset me. As the author recalls her great grandmother being locked away as a symbol of all the women who have to be silent or cut down.
I could understand her thoughts when she said most people would not understand how scary and over stimulating it is for cult escapees to integrate into the world. Her relationship with her father was neither black nor white. She questioned how he could have two conflicting beliefs and why he did what he did. But she still admired him. Overall, this was quite dry at times and long winded. But I could relate to some areas.
Some quotes that resonated with me were:
"In truth, Ada Louise's face had come to stand for all those women who's been shut up or locked away, not just Breathren women but those bullied ir belted by men who were allowed too much power in their homes."
Pg 101
"Repetition of simplified mantras and maxims, social psychologists have proved, is one of the key methods of indoctrination; it affects the physiology of neurological pathways, particularly in teenagers, whose brains are still growing. It's a powerful form of brainwashing. And of course my father's exceptional IQ and photographic memory made it very hard to silence those voices once they got into his head."
Pg 109
"I wasn't at all sure what I dis think about most of the things my aunt and uncle asked about. None of my school friends were interested in God or the Bible or the nature of sin or grace or redemption, so though I often thought about those things, I did not talk to anyone about them. I had wanted to. They still mattered to me. But now that I was actually being crossed-questioned, I couldn't produce the certainties and opinions my aunt and uncle wanted from me. My head swam. I began to change the subject every time I saw it veer back toward the Lord and me."
Pg 267
"Those early years of locked doors, banned books, and secrets had made me curious in a starved, urgent kind of way, convinced that the now-open door would swing shut at any moment, that the grown-ups would suddenly repent of their looseness or indiscretion or that the pages I was reading would be torn out before my eyes."
Pg 279
"And though I wanted to know what he thought, I hated being lectured at. I'd spent too much time not being allowed to ask questions or interrupt. He'd spent roo much time expecting not to be interrupted, particularly by women."
Pg 279
Something else that was interesting and that I have not seen in other cult stories is life after it. At times, the book was dry recalling history of the author's ancestors and how the Exclusive Breathen began. I most enjoyed the aftermath where the author slowly discovers the world after bring told that outside is evil and following a set of strict rules.
In true cult fashion the Exclusive Breathen use religion to control it's followers, the reader sees through the lense of a young girl growing up. The rule that Women have no rights and should not speak till spoken to particularly upset me. As the author recalls her great grandmother being locked away as a symbol of all the women who have to be silent or cut down.
I could understand her thoughts when she said most people would not understand how scary and over stimulating it is for cult escapees to integrate into the world. Her relationship with her father was neither black nor white. She questioned how he could have two conflicting beliefs and why he did what he did. But she still admired him. Overall, this was quite dry at times and long winded. But I could relate to some areas.
Some quotes that resonated with me were:
"In truth, Ada Louise's face had come to stand for all those women who's been shut up or locked away, not just Breathren women but those bullied ir belted by men who were allowed too much power in their homes."
Pg 101
"Repetition of simplified mantras and maxims, social psychologists have proved, is one of the key methods of indoctrination; it affects the physiology of neurological pathways, particularly in teenagers, whose brains are still growing. It's a powerful form of brainwashing. And of course my father's exceptional IQ and photographic memory made it very hard to silence those voices once they got into his head."
Pg 109
"I wasn't at all sure what I dis think about most of the things my aunt and uncle asked about. None of my school friends were interested in God or the Bible or the nature of sin or grace or redemption, so though I often thought about those things, I did not talk to anyone about them. I had wanted to. They still mattered to me. But now that I was actually being crossed-questioned, I couldn't produce the certainties and opinions my aunt and uncle wanted from me. My head swam. I began to change the subject every time I saw it veer back toward the Lord and me."
Pg 267
"Those early years of locked doors, banned books, and secrets had made me curious in a starved, urgent kind of way, convinced that the now-open door would swing shut at any moment, that the grown-ups would suddenly repent of their looseness or indiscretion or that the pages I was reading would be torn out before my eyes."
Pg 279
"And though I wanted to know what he thought, I hated being lectured at. I'd spent too much time not being allowed to ask questions or interrupt. He'd spent roo much time expecting not to be interrupted, particularly by women."
Pg 279
informative
reflective
medium-paced
challenging
dark
informative
slow-paced
I nearly DNFed this book at 30% where I got a bit lost in the history of previous generations of the Stott family. However I'm glad I kept going I kept going because this was very very interesting. Not the most enjoyable book that I've read this year but absolutely gripping!
What was shocking to me was that these groups or "cults" of Brethren were living amongst ordinary people in ordinary towns in UK not in the wilds of the American prairies. Doctors and Teachers and neighbours must have known that members were being locked up for weeks at a time or isolated from their family members yet nobody did anything. Our British disinclination to interfere with anyone's religious beliefs was a disaster for people who needed to be rescued.
The relationship between the author and her father was very well told . Despite his role in the Brethren, his neglect of his family, and his gambling addiction, the author felt a deep and abiding bond with him. She spent his last days with him and found the strength to tell his story but also her own.
One of the most poignant parts of the book for me was when Rebecca's family left the Brethren but did not disabuse her of the Brethren beliefs; leaving her to pick her way through a world she had been taught was evil.
I thought this was a fascinating and thought provoking read and a worthy winner of the Costa Prize.
What was shocking to me was that these groups or "cults" of Brethren were living amongst ordinary people in ordinary towns in UK not in the wilds of the American prairies. Doctors and Teachers and neighbours must have known that members were being locked up for weeks at a time or isolated from their family members yet nobody did anything. Our British disinclination to interfere with anyone's religious beliefs was a disaster for people who needed to be rescued.
The relationship between the author and her father was very well told . Despite his role in the Brethren, his neglect of his family, and his gambling addiction, the author felt a deep and abiding bond with him. She spent his last days with him and found the strength to tell his story but also her own.
One of the most poignant parts of the book for me was when Rebecca's family left the Brethren but did not disabuse her of the Brethren beliefs; leaving her to pick her way through a world she had been taught was evil.
I thought this was a fascinating and thought provoking read and a worthy winner of the Costa Prize.
A similar subject to Tara Westover’s Uneducated and these books are worth reading as companions to each other. While Uneducated is about the Church of the Latter Day Saints in the US, and this is about the Brethren (of whom I’d never heard) in the UK, some of the themes and concerns are complimentary. This book is part history, about the brethren, and part memoir and does a good job of intertwining the two but left me wanting to know a bit more about how it felt to be outside, how the coming to terms bit happened for the author herself rather than the impact on her Dad.
A beautifully written, heart-breaking, infuriating account of the author's childhood growing up in the Brethren, this was so memorable for Stott's portrayal of both the ways in which the strict, highly sheltered environment can affect and inhibit a child's worldview, as well as the impact it had on her family as a whole, with a particular focus on her father. I barely read biographies and am much more of a fiction reader, but this is one I'd recommend to even the most staunch opponents of "real life writing".