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The Happiness Curve: Why Life Gets Hard in the Middle, Then Gets Much Better by Jonathan Rauch
jmrprice's review against another edition
3.0
Provides a fascinating exploration of how our satisfaction - our contentment with life - improves with age - flying in the face of conventional wisdom that our older years should be filled with misery and sadness.
received an advanced reader copy via Goodreads giveaway
received an advanced reader copy via Goodreads giveaway
jlsjourneys's review against another edition
5.0
I found myself quoting this ALL THE TIME … the comments others make have some validity (sure, the author is upper class, but he does interview a wide variety of people - and I’m also in a professional career set) … but I found this full of wisdom, data, perspective, and hope. My favorite part had to be the woman who gave a six word motto to explain how she got over comparison & frustration at work: “I don’t care. I don’t care.” In the best way possible - the way that empowers us to care about what matters most. Moving from a focus on accomplishments to one on connection & compassion.
jeffbrimhall's review against another edition
Audiobook: Good. U-shaped happiness curve. Bottoms at about 49 and increases into old age. Oldest people happiest/most content.
“Gratitude comes easier.” On why it is better as we age.
Also discussion that post-50 people’s sense of what matters (values) change from success and conquering the world to being happy and relationships.
“Gratitude comes easier.” On why it is better as we age.
Also discussion that post-50 people’s sense of what matters (values) change from success and conquering the world to being happy and relationships.
deniser821's review against another edition
4.0
Some books just find out at the right time and this is one of them. The Happiness Project mixed real life stories along with data about the real science of mid life malaise.
Happiness, according to the book, is actually U shaped and you hit the bottom of the U right around mid 40’s . This mid life dissatisfaction affects people across cultures, countries, and even affects primates!
It was comforting for me to know that this feeling is entirely normal and you have to keep trudging along and you eventually start to feel normal again.
The middle of the book is a bit of a slog but the beginning and end of the book more than make up for it.
Happiness, according to the book, is actually U shaped and you hit the bottom of the U right around mid 40’s . This mid life dissatisfaction affects people across cultures, countries, and even affects primates!
It was comforting for me to know that this feeling is entirely normal and you have to keep trudging along and you eventually start to feel normal again.
The middle of the book is a bit of a slog but the beginning and end of the book more than make up for it.
mom2triplets04's review against another edition
3.0
Listened to this on audio. I was looking for something to help me deal with turning 50. I was a bit depressed about it. It did help me to feel grateful for what I have accomplished in my 40’s. It was well worth the listen to.
jrc2011's review against another edition
5.0
We've all heard the jokes about midlife crisis and folks who are experiencing difficulties in midlife are often pooh-poohed -- I remember one middle aged friend laughing at midlife crises as self-indulgent, saying "I can't afford a midlife crisis!"
Would we do the same thing with respect to adolescents? There may be many satires and jokes about adolescence but we are all very aware of the real changes and challenges faced by humans in this phase of their development. It exists and it's not a joke.
Well, the same can be said of midlife, as it turns out. Jonathan Rauch's book, "The Happiness Curve" starts off by diving into a huge pile of research: dozens of research teams have seen this u-shaped curve in self-reported life satisfaction scores. We start off VERY happy in life and our satisfaction gradually decreases at mid-life, and then begins to increase again after this midlife trough. It's not just cultural -- it's found across multiple cultures and samples across decades. And, it's not just humans -- researchers working with primates around the world, in various settings, have found the same curve in our nearest non-human primate relatives and may be biological.
Rauch defines this midlife slump as "normal and natural." it's not just a "crisis" but "a change in our values and sources of satisfaction, a change in who we are."
"It is about the dawn of 'encore adulthood,' a whole new stage of adult development which is already starting to reshape the way we think about retirement,education, and human potential."
Studies have examined all sorts of extrinsic and intrinsic factors -- income, education, wealth, fast or slow growing economies, depression, and so on. The author provides a very indepth review of these studies and how different kinds of happiness are defined (affective vs longer term life satisfaction).
Humans are programmed to start off big and then switch gears -- so when we get to middle age and we haven't saved the world, we get a negative feedback loop that says "Something's wrong with me."
The keys to surviving or "muddling through" this trough are to first and foremost, accept as "normal" what you are going through and resist the urge for comparison to others or to your own goals/expectations. Then, despite your inclination to become a hermit and hide out -- connect and reach out to others who are going through it or who have gone through it: connectedness is one of the keys to surviving. Finally, make changes in small steps, not giant leaps -- and build on your strengths, skills and experience.
Just before that section of the book -- the author gets into the wisdom studies and some very pragmatic and clear information on what it is and why it is important to those
Rauch also supplies plenty of studies that demonstrate the universal principles of underlying wisdom and where people usually end up on the other side of the trough:
"compassion and prosocial attitudes that reflect concern for the common good; pragmatic knowledge of life; the use of one’s pragmatic knowledge to resolve personal and social problems; an ability to cope with ambiguity and uncertainty, and to see multiple points of view; emotional stability and mastery of one’s own feelings; a capacity for reflection and for dispassionate self-understanding."
There are three basic components of wisdom -- and they have to be balanced with each other, and serve to enrich and strengthen the other components. The author uses "Star Trek" as an example: "In Star Trek, undoubtedly the wisest of all television shows, a recurrent theme is that the most blazingly intelligent character, the Vulcan Spock, lacks the instinctive empathy of Dr. McCoy and the pragmatic decisiveness of Captain Kirk. None of the three alone is wise. Wisdom arises from the (sometimes tense) interaction of the triumvirate."
The studies on wisdom align nicely with the basic tenets of Buddhism -- which may explain why so many folks are drawn to it in middle age, it provides a structure and community for their changing values and beliefs. There's no association between wisdom and intelligence, "What wise people know about is life."
Wisdom, he says, is balanced, reflective, active -- "the happiness curve is a social adaptation, a slow-motion reboot of our emotional software to repurpose us for a different role in society."
"You may be dissatisfied, but you don’t need to be quite so dissatisfied about being dissatisfied!"
It's a long slow adjustment that is normal, not pathological, and you're NOT crazy or losing your mind!
The book is really well written, enjoyable and informative. I really appreciate that it doesn't focus entirely on perimenopause or "hormones" -- but I do wish that there was a bit more coverage on that area aside from a mention of "the grandmother effect" and the interesting bit of trivia that humans are one of 3 species on this planet where the female of the species long outlives her fertility (the other two species are whales).
Would we do the same thing with respect to adolescents? There may be many satires and jokes about adolescence but we are all very aware of the real changes and challenges faced by humans in this phase of their development. It exists and it's not a joke.
Well, the same can be said of midlife, as it turns out. Jonathan Rauch's book, "The Happiness Curve" starts off by diving into a huge pile of research: dozens of research teams have seen this u-shaped curve in self-reported life satisfaction scores. We start off VERY happy in life and our satisfaction gradually decreases at mid-life, and then begins to increase again after this midlife trough. It's not just cultural -- it's found across multiple cultures and samples across decades. And, it's not just humans -- researchers working with primates around the world, in various settings, have found the same curve in our nearest non-human primate relatives and may be biological.
Rauch defines this midlife slump as "normal and natural." it's not just a "crisis" but "a change in our values and sources of satisfaction, a change in who we are."
"It is about the dawn of 'encore adulthood,' a whole new stage of adult development which is already starting to reshape the way we think about retirement,education, and human potential."
Studies have examined all sorts of extrinsic and intrinsic factors -- income, education, wealth, fast or slow growing economies, depression, and so on. The author provides a very indepth review of these studies and how different kinds of happiness are defined (affective vs longer term life satisfaction).
Humans are programmed to start off big and then switch gears -- so when we get to middle age and we haven't saved the world, we get a negative feedback loop that says "Something's wrong with me."
The keys to surviving or "muddling through" this trough are to first and foremost, accept as "normal" what you are going through and resist the urge for comparison to others or to your own goals/expectations. Then, despite your inclination to become a hermit and hide out -- connect and reach out to others who are going through it or who have gone through it: connectedness is one of the keys to surviving. Finally, make changes in small steps, not giant leaps -- and build on your strengths, skills and experience.
Just before that section of the book -- the author gets into the wisdom studies and some very pragmatic and clear information on what it is and why it is important to those
Rauch also supplies plenty of studies that demonstrate the universal principles of underlying wisdom and where people usually end up on the other side of the trough:
"compassion and prosocial attitudes that reflect concern for the common good; pragmatic knowledge of life; the use of one’s pragmatic knowledge to resolve personal and social problems; an ability to cope with ambiguity and uncertainty, and to see multiple points of view; emotional stability and mastery of one’s own feelings; a capacity for reflection and for dispassionate self-understanding."
There are three basic components of wisdom -- and they have to be balanced with each other, and serve to enrich and strengthen the other components. The author uses "Star Trek" as an example: "In Star Trek, undoubtedly the wisest of all television shows, a recurrent theme is that the most blazingly intelligent character, the Vulcan Spock, lacks the instinctive empathy of Dr. McCoy and the pragmatic decisiveness of Captain Kirk. None of the three alone is wise. Wisdom arises from the (sometimes tense) interaction of the triumvirate."
The studies on wisdom align nicely with the basic tenets of Buddhism -- which may explain why so many folks are drawn to it in middle age, it provides a structure and community for their changing values and beliefs. There's no association between wisdom and intelligence, "What wise people know about is life."
Wisdom, he says, is balanced, reflective, active -- "the happiness curve is a social adaptation, a slow-motion reboot of our emotional software to repurpose us for a different role in society."
"You may be dissatisfied, but you don’t need to be quite so dissatisfied about being dissatisfied!"
It's a long slow adjustment that is normal, not pathological, and you're NOT crazy or losing your mind!
The book is really well written, enjoyable and informative. I really appreciate that it doesn't focus entirely on perimenopause or "hormones" -- but I do wish that there was a bit more coverage on that area aside from a mention of "the grandmother effect" and the interesting bit of trivia that humans are one of 3 species on this planet where the female of the species long outlives her fertility (the other two species are whales).
jtrigger's review against another edition
3.0
Torn between 2 and 3 stars for this one. I'll grant the benefit of the doubt and round up. The basis is good and offers enough scientific backing to legitimize the concept of the happiness curve itself. Tedious churning through lengthy technical chapters prevent this from attaining "easy read" status. The majority of the worthwhile content here could have been covered adequately as an entry in a journal or a white paper with less than 20 pages.