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Graphic: Sexual violence, Suicide attempt
i thought all the tiktoks and hype was glazing.
NO THE FUCK IT WASNT!!!!!
this book has done irreversible damage to me because there was genuinely no reason for it to be THAT addicting like holy shit i finished this entire thing in a day even though i was busy as hell. like. i was reading this shit in public. i picked this up in barnes and noble and expected to read the first few pages, maybe to buy and download it on my phone, but i genuinely couldn’t put it down. what the fuck. i hate buying physical books especially at full price. so this was me exploring a new part of me just like bran HA HA
okay okay now i need to get into what genuinely made this probably my #1 book of the year:
NIKOLAI AND BRANDON DONT FIX EACH OTHER THEY HEAL EACH OTHER
it is so easy to create a plot which revolves around both LIs being fucked in the head and to just have them magically fixed with #power of love, and to an untrained eye this book MAY seem like it fits in that category. but absolutely FUCKING not!!! they STRUGGLE, they RELAPSE, THEY ARE REAL
and also…the PROGRESSION… wow…to see them both evolve, to become more like each other and admire each others’ lifestyle but while staying true and authentic to themselves..???? peak. just peak.
i genuinely really liked both characters SO MUCH from the literal get go, which i think is a major factor in how enjoyable this book was. i literally cannot choose if i like nikolai or brandon more as a character because they’re both like their own seasoning, they completely excel at what they are, but they’re completely different and somehow infinitely better when combined. ik some people found nikolai naming his dingaling weird but i fear this isn’t the weirdest thing he’s done guys 😭😭 also i fear ive named both of my boobs years before i read this book so like it’s not that uncommon guys! nikolai is me in another universe. anyways BRANDON wow he’s chefs kiss, i completely enjoyed all of his POVs because he’s absolutely nothing like me and i love seeing different ways of thinking. also, his entire arc, backstory, thoughts…dude i was in the TRENCHES for this guy, i was looking all melancholy out the window like i knew him personally!!!
additionally i fear opposites attract and grumpy x sunshine are my two ABSOLUTE FAVORITE tropes so like no wonder im glazing the fuck out of this
TL;DR
READ RHE FUCKING BOOK ALREADYYYYYYYY 😁
Graphic: Addiction, Adult/minor relationship, Alcoholism, Cursing, Emotional abuse, Panic attacks/disorders, Physical abuse, Rape, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Toxic relationship, Blood, Stalking, Suicide attempt, Murder, Alcohol, Sexual harassment, Injury/Injury detail
Moderate: Homophobia, Sexism, Acephobia/Arophobia
Graphic: Cursing, Mental illness, Rape, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Blood, Stalking, Suicide attempt
Graphic: Mental illness, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Violence, Blood
Graphic: Cursing, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Violence, Blood, Suicide attempt
Moderate: Panic attacks/disorders, Self harm, Sexual assault, Torture, Toxic relationship, Kidnapping, Suicide attempt, Schizophrenia/Psychosis
Graphic: Addiction, Alcoholism, Body shaming, Bullying, Child abuse, Death, Drug abuse, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Gore, Gun violence, Homophobia, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Rape, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Torture, Violence, Blood, Grief, Suicide attempt, Murder, Gaslighting, Abandonment, Alcohol, Sexual harassment, Dysphoria, Injury/Injury detail
Graphic: Cursing, Emotional abuse, Homophobia, Physical abuse, Rape, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Blood, Suicide attempt, Injury/Injury detail
That said, when the dynamic did hit, it hit hard. The tension, the vulnerability, and the emotional unraveling were really compelling, especially toward the end. I just wish we got more of that and less of the loop.
Rina Kent knows how to write intensity, and this one definitely delivers on that front. Just be aware: it’s dark, 18+, and comes with a solid list of trigger warnings—so check those before diving in.
If you enjoy MM romance with complicated characters, emotional warfare, and morally gray relationships, this one might be up your alley.
Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Body horror, Body shaming, Child abuse, Cursing, Death, Emotional abuse, Gun violence, Homophobia, Physical abuse, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Violence, Blood, Grief, Suicide attempt, Murder, Outing, Gaslighting, Alcohol
Graphic: Mental illness, Rape, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Blood, Grief, Suicide attempt
It's so "funny" (and, yes, I'm being sarcastic). In the introductions, Rina Kent wrote that this book was not as dark as the previous one in the series, while in my opinion, it is the darkest one. The issues addressed in this book were some of the most heartbreaking and soul-shattering ever (swear, I felt the same twisting feeling as when I read Hunting Adeline 1st half of the book)
To the ones who scream in silence.
With this book, I emphasize the need to read and understand all triggers. This was not an easy read.
And I'm beyond sad and distraught thinking that so many readers are so closed-minded and homophobic and couldn't see beyond MM relationship to understand the whole other and more important topic described in the book.
Thank God for the perfectly executed banter (chemistry was out of the charts), and for transforming one of the most questionable MMCs in the greenest of the green flags ever. And thank God for the sensitivity in understanding and describing the complex behavioral development in the adolescent/ young adult age. - one undoubtedly fantastic educational read for a parent (especially parents of teens).
Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Child abuse, Emotional abuse, Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, Rape, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Toxic relationship, Violence, Blood, Medical content, Grief, Medical trauma, Suicide attempt, Outing, Toxic friendship