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serenevannoy's review
I can't really handle stories of kids in peril, and I was not expecting the violent child rape that happens early in this book. Not a fault of the book, but I wasn't enjoying it that much to begin with and that was the deciding point.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Child abuse, Rape, and Pedophilia
celestesbookshelf's review
challenging
dark
emotional
hopeful
inspiring
medium-paced
Thank you to @vintageanchorbooks for my gifted copy of this incredible memoir by Jesse Leon.
⚠️ not for the faint of heart, Leon bleeds his heart out telling his story. He minces no words. The sexual abuse at the hands of predators he endured, the domestic violence that surrounded him, the discrimination since early childhood, all of it is on the page for readers to judge.
I’m at a loss on where to start with reviewing this so I’ll attempt at a chronological overview of what to expect.
A young Chicano child living in the “bad” part of San Diego questions his sexuality at an early age. He is ridiculed by his machista Mexican father and he attempts to meet his fathers expectations by acting and dressing like a “cholo” to command respect.
📝 the Mexican machista man is such a typical villain for children to experience and be damaged by
A day like any other leads him into the den of a predator, he is raped at 11 years old and manipulated by fear he is forced to continue returning, after a while his tormentor begins pimping him out to other pedophiles.
Understandably, Leon finds an escape in drugs and alcohol. His life is spiraling out of control, his sex work is his way of life and he survives by putting on a “IDGAF” attitude.
Praise the Lord, a fellow Chicano counselor encourages him to think about his future, he sees right through his façade and doesn’t buy that he doesn’t care. Leon starts at community college, gets clean, transfers to UC Berkeley and graduates, then attends Harvard for his Masters degree.
Like the counselor who helped him turn his life around he is now a social impact consultant and specializes on providing ways to address issues of substance abuse, affordable housing, and any LGBTQIA+ issues.
It’s a tough read but truly astonishing. The tenacity this child then man had to summon to climb out of the hole that he was born into then the one he was manipulated into is unbelievable.
If you know anyone who has felt low, anyone who has felt they don’t belong or have messed up one too many times then this book is for them. I urge you to read it and open your eyes to the life experiences that go on undetected for years.
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studiouspoppy's review against another edition
dark
inspiring
medium-paced
3.5
In his incredible memoir “I’m not broken”, Jesse León talks about his experience as a survivor of CSA in the seventies, understanding his life experience as a second generation latin immigrant in the USA, a queer kid growing up in the seventies in a hyper masculine culture, and how his experience of CSA marked his development and exploration of sexuality in a world that was already really difficult for queer people, specially BIPOC.
I enjoyed this book and the way Jesse managed to tell a very difficult and personal story, show how far he’s come, and centered his narration in the people around him, acknowledging that his recovery was hard and was something he managed with great difficulty, and how important his family and friends were as a support system. I was afraid it was gonna be a “I’ve gone through worse and managed to achieve so many things, so everyone else isn’t trying hard enough” and it was the opposite.
The author managed to depict one of the worst things a person can go through, and the way he started that part of his story felt raw and sudden, and painful to read. I though it was really poetic the way is so unexpected as a reader, how he managed to communicate his experience like that. It was also very interesting the way he analyzed his feelings at the time, talking about how as a latine kid, being raised in a very sexist community, the CSA by a man really affected how he felt around his own masculinity.
There were some issues with the parts written in Spanish, from very imprecise translations, to using conjugations that didn’t go together, which seems like mistakes in the editing process. An English reader probably wouldn’t notice, but as a Spanish speaker it was very noticeable.
Overall, this book was really hard to read because it was raw ad explicit in the way it depicted drug abuse, suicide ideation, sexual assault & exploitation, and while I think it was really well written and had a really interesting and thorough sociological analysis of identity, trauma and intersectional ways of oppression, it’s definitely not for everybody and I certainly hope that the final version includes clear TW. I liked it, and I think it was well written so I do recommend it, but as a very hard topic, I’d say it should be read carefully.
Thank you so much NetGalley and Knopf Doubleday Publishing Group for giving me access to a digital arc of this book.
Thank you so much NetGalley and Knopf Doubleday Publishing Group for giving me access to a digital arc of this book.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Drug use, Racial slurs, Rape, Pedophilia, Sexual assault, Alcohol, Alcoholism, Drug abuse, Racism, and Trafficking
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