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3.44 AVERAGE
3.44 AVERAGE
emotional
reflective
sad
medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
No
Diverse cast of characters:
No
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
this book is drenched in depression — low energy, raw, and painfully honest. on the surface, it’s 'sad girl lit' about mental health, but underneath it’s also a love story about learning to accept who you are, even when you’re a mess.
iris, the protagonist, is perpetually stuck in the cycle of wanting, reaching, and then feeling nothing once she gets what she thought she needed. her job promotion is the clearest example: she’d been craving it for so long, but when it finally arrives, she collapses into despair instead of triumph. that empty 'what’s next?' is such a true-to-life depiction of depression. how even victories can feel hollow when you’re just trying to keep your head above water.
the writing captures that paradox of depression beautifully: how thoughts can be bleak and self-destructive but also sharp and painfully relatable. there were so many lines that made me laugh, then sigh, because they hit too close.
for example:
- Temporary, fleeting happiness is worse than no happiness at all. The jarring desperation in my stomach to hold on to the positive feeling is torturous compared to the stable serenity of consistently wanting to die.
- Whenever someone says they love me, it feels more like an ending than a beginning.
it’s quiet, but it also screamed at me. honestly, i loved it. it’s one of those books where you feel seen, even if what it reflects is the ugliest part of yourself.
essential song: The Story of Us by Taylor Swift — i’ve never heard silence quite this loud.
iris, the protagonist, is perpetually stuck in the cycle of wanting, reaching, and then feeling nothing once she gets what she thought she needed. her job promotion is the clearest example: she’d been craving it for so long, but when it finally arrives, she collapses into despair instead of triumph. that empty 'what’s next?' is such a true-to-life depiction of depression. how even victories can feel hollow when you’re just trying to keep your head above water.
the writing captures that paradox of depression beautifully: how thoughts can be bleak and self-destructive but also sharp and painfully relatable. there were so many lines that made me laugh, then sigh, because they hit too close.
for example:
- Temporary, fleeting happiness is worse than no happiness at all. The jarring desperation in my stomach to hold on to the positive feeling is torturous compared to the stable serenity of consistently wanting to die.
- Whenever someone says they love me, it feels more like an ending than a beginning.
it’s quiet, but it also screamed at me. honestly, i loved it. it’s one of those books where you feel seen, even if what it reflects is the ugliest part of yourself.
essential song: The Story of Us by Taylor Swift — i’ve never heard silence quite this loud.
emotional
reflective
sad
fast-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Complicated
Loveable characters:
Complicated
Diverse cast of characters:
No
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
This book is incredibly depressing, I would say absolutely check your triggers before you pick it up and make sure you’re in the right headspace. In a lot of ways it reminded me of The Bell Jar in terms of the topics and themes. It’s a very direct and raw depiction of someone suffering from depression.
dark
funny
sad
medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
No
Loveable characters:
Complicated
Diverse cast of characters:
No
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
dark
emotional
sad
medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
No
Diverse cast of characters:
No
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
challenging
dark
emotional
reflective
sad
tense
slow-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Yes
Diverse cast of characters:
No
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
This was so relatable and introspective. I don't know if i will ever reread it but I think that it was somehow refreshing to read because it felt authentic and like me. Irish is so depressed and self sabotaging, and I think Emily Slappers portrayal of depression is accurate and vulnerable. This book feels like Fading in a way.
i somehow love and hate this book equally in a similar way to August from Young Royals
i somehow love and hate this book equally in a similar way to August from Young Royals
challenging
dark
emotional
sad
fast-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Complicated
Loveable characters:
No
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
challenging
dark
emotional
reflective
tense
medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Complicated
Loveable characters:
No
Diverse cast of characters:
No
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
This is not about liking the main character. Iris is not a likeable character but she is a relatable one. She’s an exaggerated version of the worst parts of ourselves, even if we don’t want to admit it. She is shallow and selfish and exists to perform. Her whole life is a performance for others and when she realises that nobody is watching her as closely as she wishes, she performs to herself. She imagines scenarios where something would happen to her and imagines how others would react. She finds existing to be difficult because she doesn’t exist. She creates herself, curates every little part of herself for an audience that she has in her head. Iris doesn’t love, she wants to make others love her, for the pleasure of the aesthetic, the validation. And in her mind that’s power but she fails to realise that others have power over her, and not the other way around because when you exist to make others like you, admire you, love you, your whole being is controlled by what they might think of you and how they might perceive you. It’s difficult to read that and to think of some thoughts you might have had, or how you act around others because of the way you might be perceived. Iris reflects our modern TikTok, influencer society perfectly and what this does to people. It’s difficult to say whether she grew. She does gain self awareness but her change in behaviour does not stem from her acknowledging her wrongdoings. She does not apologise to her mother or make amends with the people she’s hurt. Instead, she goes back to George because she realises that nobody is going to love her for who she is other than George. It’s difficult to believe that she actually loves him but rather she doesn’t want to be alone. So in the end, does she grow as a character or did she just hit rock bottom? I like to think it’s a bit of both.
challenging
dark
sad
slow-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Complicated
Loveable characters:
No
Diverse cast of characters:
No
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
emotional
medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
No
Diverse cast of characters:
No
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes