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james1star's review
challenging
emotional
reflective
sad
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
4.5
The blurb of this book doesn’t give too much away as to the plot so I won’t either. We follow a seventeen year old girl called Lucy via a first person POV over the course of around a year. It starts with her and her best friend Brittney becoming victims to a severe terrorist-like hate crime during the Brighton’s Pride celebrations. Lucy not long came out as gay thinking the weight over her head had been lifted but after the events of that traumatic day she begins to question a lot. She’s evidently affected and just wants to feel safe but in doing so pushes away those who love her and loses herself in a web of lies. There is more but as I’d totally recommend picking this up I don’t want to give anything else away.
I think what Storey does the best is not by telling the most interesting or well written story but the thoughts and feelings of the MC are just so relatable. Lucy’s situation and what she went through doesn’t happen to many people, especially to such an extent, but she was so real. Her experiences of being queer in modern (British) society are portrayed so amazingly and I totally connected to her - when she was sad I was, when she convinced herself of something I could reason with her, when she had moments of feeling hopeful I did too and there were many more. She did lots of harmful things to herself and I longed to get inside the pages and give Lucy a big hug, inciting a visceral response in me throughout reading this book. Storey lets the characters have both internal and external conversations on many things, most notably the need to seek out help with your mental health and how this process to recovery is slow with many ups and downs but it can get better. Another major motif is the queer shame Lucy and nearly all queer people experience at some point, myself very much included. It’s horrible to read but also great to know you’re not alone in this. It may seem easier to pretend, you won’t get at best looks on the street or at worst be a victim of an anti-queer hate crime so it’s safer but you’re not free. I hate this so much and as much as times have changed, straight is still very much the default - this notion and ever present prevalence of cis-heteronormativity still takes its toll on us. Storey does a phenomenal job at conveying this and so many parts I could relate to which was amazing (and sad too I guess) and this was the thoughts/feelings more then the real actions taking place. Furthermore, the depressive episodes Lucy went through were depicted so well, especially her desire to disappear or stop time in a way, this is something I often feel too so I did have a very personal relationship with this book.
The writing was okay I’d say, it’s nothing really bad or anything great either. I found the sentences to be a little simplistic and it did read slightly amateurish (it is Storey’s debut and was indi-published) where another few rounds of editing would have greatly benefited this novel. What didn’t help was quite a few noticeable grammar and word order mistakes that could’ve been fixed. It doesn’t take you out of the story but I did pick up on these. Other then that I don’t think there was much else I disliked, possibly being slightly longer but it’s another edit and fine-lining that was missed most.
I really recommend this book so much. It’s not a literary masterpiece with an enticing plot and poetic prose but it does make you think. If you’re queer I would even more so guide you to it because there is likely a lot you can relate to and sympathise with the MC too. Similarly, those struggling with depression or trauma of some type, I feel it would help but could also be a trigger.
Thank you Leona for this, you really gave me a lot to think about, I found a lot of parallels with Lucy in how she felt and thought and it’s for moments like this that I read.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Homophobia, Hate crime, Lesbophobia, Self harm, and Mental illness
Moderate: Gun violence and Blood
Minor: Death, Panic attacks/disorders, and Eating disorder
hannahbaldwin's review
2.0
I wanted to love this so so so much but there were some issues that just didn't sit right with me. It took me over a month to finish because I just couldn't get invested in the story, despite the strong beginning.
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