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Keanu Reeves is Not in Love With You: The Murky World of Online Romance Fraud by Becky Holmes
voraciousreader's review
challenging
funny
informative
sad
fast-paced
4.5
Although the topic of this book was serious and important- as it should be, it was also an incredibly funny book too. Struck a wonderful balance.
sarahweyand's review against another edition
funny
informative
reflective
sad
fast-paced
4.25
My penchant for niche non-fiction strikes again. I really enjoyed the framing of this book, from the author describing her own personal experiences with humor to telling other people's stories in a more serious manner. As someone who doesn't have any first-hand experience with romance fraud, I found these stories to be fascinating.
I enjoyed Becky's narration and found myself laughing out loud at some of her humor, even if a number of her jokes weren't my personal taste. At times, these jokes felt a little repetitive, but books don't often make me laugh out loud so I'm giving the hits more weight than the misses.
Holmes does a great job of bringing awareness to a underdiscussed topic and removing the shame and guilt surrounding the issue. She gives the stories the weight they deserve while also breaking the tension with funnier or less serious anecdotes that are still relevant to the discussion. I also appreciate how she gives tips and advice to readers about how to recognize some of these schemes for themselves.
I think I read this book in a couple of days, and I found it to be memorable, informative, and humorous. Would recommend if the topic is of interest!
I enjoyed Becky's narration and found myself laughing out loud at some of her humor, even if a number of her jokes weren't my personal taste. At times, these jokes felt a little repetitive, but books don't often make me laugh out loud so I'm giving the hits more weight than the misses.
Holmes does a great job of bringing awareness to a underdiscussed topic and removing the shame and guilt surrounding the issue. She gives the stories the weight they deserve while also breaking the tension with funnier or less serious anecdotes that are still relevant to the discussion. I also appreciate how she gives tips and advice to readers about how to recognize some of these schemes for themselves.
I think I read this book in a couple of days, and I found it to be memorable, informative, and humorous. Would recommend if the topic is of interest!
Content Warnings
Graphic: Pandemic/Epidemic and Stalking
ribbenkast's review
2.0
"I was approached by a security-awareness networking group, who asked me to join an online panel of romance-fraud experts. I was amazed – how on earth could I possibly be considered an expert?'"
Girl, I am also confused. The author is by no means an expert on the presented topic. She's neither scholar nor journalist, or victim of the prescribed romance fraud. This book is just a word vomit of her covid-lockdown hyperfocus.
The author basically became twitter famous for wasting these romance fraudsters time by keeping them engaged with her weird stories for a long time. Those bits are immediately quite funny.
Those text excerpts combined with actual victims accounts and the ocassional educational nugget kept me going. But if you really want to learn about this topic find another book.
The book didn't deliver me what was promised. I picked this up because I realise there is a lot of victim blaming going on when it comes to romance fraud. I was hoping this book would give me a different perspective and show me the ins and outs of the psychology behind becoming a victim. There where a bunch of victims accounts in the book. I understood all of these women to a certain degree, but the scams described where elleborate and believable. I still don't know what goes through the heads of the people who think @realkeanureeeves87 is the real Keanu Reeves, that he is talking to them, let alone be in love with them and then proceed to send the super rich multi millionaire Keanu Reeves a £1000 Steam gift card.
Becky Holmes is just a deeply weird and insecure person I think. Despite this book having nothing to with that, she kept mentioning her weight and losing weight so much it was deeply triggering my ED. When walkin us through a scammers handbook given to people kept in captivity who are forced to scam people to pay of their debts al she comments on is that at age 42 she is considered unattractive and gets offended by that.
Furthermore, the author was weirdly gross about the real live celebrities and regular men that have their fotos stolen for such scamms. At one point going on a long tangent about wanting to find Liam Neeson's dick picks. I felt gross reading that. It's as if she forgot that despite having their pictures stolen, these men are also real people.
There where multiple times in the book where Holmes centered herself in the narrative despite the fact that the subject has nothing to do with her. She ends the book by saying she got over her imposter syndrome. I think she did all this in an attempt to be more relatable, but al I heard is: me me me me me me.
Lastly, the fact that most of these scams origin from Nigeria is handled with a "revoking my woke card" joke, followed by what I think is a gross racist overexaggeration of Nigerian scammers doing murder and blood magic in order to scam better.
I think she accidentally stumbled into a much bigger story about the circle of exploitation and colonisation but that would require more research and way less HaHas and Holmes appears way to dense to see that.
Ultimately, I don't think Becky Holmes had the grace to handle such a sensitive topic. A massive bummer. I do think it's possible to write such a book with humor, but you need a lot more journalistic integrity.
Girl, I am also confused. The author is by no means an expert on the presented topic. She's neither scholar nor journalist, or victim of the prescribed romance fraud. This book is just a word vomit of her covid-lockdown hyperfocus.
The author basically became twitter famous for wasting these romance fraudsters time by keeping them engaged with her weird stories for a long time. Those bits are immediately quite funny.
Those text excerpts combined with actual victims accounts and the ocassional educational nugget kept me going. But if you really want to learn about this topic find another book.
The book didn't deliver me what was promised. I picked this up because I realise there is a lot of victim blaming going on when it comes to romance fraud. I was hoping this book would give me a different perspective and show me the ins and outs of the psychology behind becoming a victim. There where a bunch of victims accounts in the book. I understood all of these women to a certain degree, but the scams described where elleborate and believable. I still don't know what goes through the heads of the people who think @realkeanureeeves87 is the real Keanu Reeves, that he is talking to them, let alone be in love with them and then proceed to send the super rich multi millionaire Keanu Reeves a £1000 Steam gift card.
Becky Holmes is just a deeply weird and insecure person I think. Despite this book having nothing to with that, she kept mentioning her weight and losing weight so much it was deeply triggering my ED. When walkin us through a scammers handbook given to people kept in captivity who are forced to scam people to pay of their debts al she comments on is that at age 42 she is considered unattractive and gets offended by that.
Furthermore, the author was weirdly gross about the real live celebrities and regular men that have their fotos stolen for such scamms. At one point going on a long tangent about wanting to find Liam Neeson's dick picks. I felt gross reading that. It's as if she forgot that despite having their pictures stolen, these men are also real people.
There where multiple times in the book where Holmes centered herself in the narrative despite the fact that the subject has nothing to do with her. She ends the book by saying she got over her imposter syndrome. I think she did all this in an attempt to be more relatable, but al I heard is: me me me me me me.
Lastly, the fact that most of these scams origin from Nigeria is handled with a "revoking my woke card" joke, followed by what I think is a gross racist overexaggeration of Nigerian scammers doing murder and blood magic in order to scam better.
I think she accidentally stumbled into a much bigger story about the circle of exploitation and colonisation but that would require more research and way less HaHas and Holmes appears way to dense to see that.
Ultimately, I don't think Becky Holmes had the grace to handle such a sensitive topic. A massive bummer. I do think it's possible to write such a book with humor, but you need a lot more journalistic integrity.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Pandemic/Epidemic, Eating disorder, Stalking, Colonisation, Racism, Body shaming, Infidelity, Classism, Trafficking, Cursing, and Bullying
katykelly's review
5.0
Intensely relevant, relatable, riveting stories and background to life-changing scams.
The author navigates breezily between chatty background, personal history and observations, to her own hilarious interactions with scammers, and then the upsetting and soul-baring stories of people conned by promises of love and commitment into handing over their money.
A hard path to navigate, but I found myself crossing my legs in merriment at screenshotted conversations of silly place names and murders one minute, then in tears at the heartbreak and loss of victims the next.
Holmes started a deep dive into Twitter with pandemic lockdowns in full swing (well we all had to do something), and it wasn't long before "a sudden DM deluge and I had military men falling out of every orifice. Well, sadly that's not true, but you know what I mean."
With a lot of research in this, all cited, this feels like a thorough examination of the recent history of online romance scams, the psychology used in them, some social commentary on where and why, and the (often rubbish) reactions and assistance available.
My eyes feel opened after reading this. I've many times deleted friend requests from international strangers, deleted Nigerian prince-type emails, and feel fortunate not to have been at a vulnerable place in my life when I've used dating sites and been more open to suggestion and convincing stories.
Holmes' interactions with scammers are just perfection, and the perfect antidote to the real stories interspersed between them, which show a range of long and short cons carefully designed to ruin lives.
A timely reminder to everyone out there to keep your personal details safe, to have your wits about you when chatting to strangers, and to not take Keanu Reeves' (or in my case Taron Egerton's) deep admiration for you at face value. Shame that.
With thanks to Netgalley for providing a sample reading copy.
The author navigates breezily between chatty background, personal history and observations, to her own hilarious interactions with scammers, and then the upsetting and soul-baring stories of people conned by promises of love and commitment into handing over their money.
A hard path to navigate, but I found myself crossing my legs in merriment at screenshotted conversations of silly place names and murders one minute, then in tears at the heartbreak and loss of victims the next.
Holmes started a deep dive into Twitter with pandemic lockdowns in full swing (well we all had to do something), and it wasn't long before "a sudden DM deluge and I had military men falling out of every orifice. Well, sadly that's not true, but you know what I mean."
With a lot of research in this, all cited, this feels like a thorough examination of the recent history of online romance scams, the psychology used in them, some social commentary on where and why, and the (often rubbish) reactions and assistance available.
My eyes feel opened after reading this. I've many times deleted friend requests from international strangers, deleted Nigerian prince-type emails, and feel fortunate not to have been at a vulnerable place in my life when I've used dating sites and been more open to suggestion and convincing stories.
Holmes' interactions with scammers are just perfection, and the perfect antidote to the real stories interspersed between them, which show a range of long and short cons carefully designed to ruin lives.
A timely reminder to everyone out there to keep your personal details safe, to have your wits about you when chatting to strangers, and to not take Keanu Reeves' (or in my case Taron Egerton's) deep admiration for you at face value. Shame that.
With thanks to Netgalley for providing a sample reading copy.