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enyltiak's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
Graphic: Grief, Kidnapping, Mental illness, Death, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Injury/Injury detail, Murder, Panic attacks/disorders, Physical abuse, Self harm, Suicidal thoughts, Toxic friendship, Toxic relationship, Violence, Death of parent, and Stalking
Moderate: Homophobia, Classism, Child abuse, Animal death, Antisemitism, Blood, Cursing, Drug use, and Suicide
Minor: Forced institutionalization, Genocide, and Vomit
iridaceae's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
Graphic: Blood, Death, Death of parent, Emotional abuse, Injury/Injury detail, Mental illness, Murder, Self harm, Sexual violence, Toxic friendship, Toxic relationship, and Violence
Moderate: Animal death, Cursing, Domestic abuse, Fire/Fire injury, Gore, Grief, Homophobia, Kidnapping, Medical trauma, Panic attacks/disorders, Physical abuse, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Stalking, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, and War
Minor: Abandonment, Addiction, Animal cruelty, Antisemitism, Body shaming, Cancer, Car accident, Child abuse, Colonisation, Drug use, Eating disorder, Forced institutionalization, Genocide, Gun violence, Police brutality, Racism, Torture, and Vomit
selenajournal's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.5
But he knows what it is to wonder what everyone else is doing differently in order to be happy; he knows what it is to skirt at the outermost edges of friendship -pg 3
Paul could only forgive himself for keeping a journal if he told himself he was documenting history. He wrote it for an audience, one who would only read it after the end of a life he'd made significant. -pg 33
"That's the way a person should be." Paul's certainty didn't waver, but the longe3r he spoke, the more his confidence did. "Nothing's imposed from the outside. You figure out on your own what's good and what isn't, and maybe that idea ends up being rigid, but that's better than not having anything at all. I don't care if anyone doesn't like it, even if it's you." -pg 39
"Whatever I do has to mean something." He hugged his knees and stared at them; it took all his nerve to raise his voice above a mumble. "I need to make something beautiful, something that lasts. I don't know what, but I have to, if I want my life to matter at all." -pg 40
"If you painted a masterpiece and then set it on fire, it still would have mattered. If you know you've made something beautiful, who cares how long it lasts? Apres toi, le deluge. -pg 41
The snap of cruelty didn't surprise him. He'd been expecting it all along. Everything about Julian was shaded with the threat of it - even his affection felt dangerous, as if it might curdle at any moment into derision. -pg 53
He could imagine nothing beyond this moment; there was no reason, no goal. He had been here all his life. -pg 80
When he imagined the moment of death, he never let himself flinch. He had to look straight into the emptiness until it felt real. That was the only way he could be certain he didn't want it. -pg 87
"There's this idea in psychoanalysis that I've always liked." Julian pulled himself closer and rested his head in the crook of Paul's arm. "It's that what we call 'love' is actually letting your identity fill in around the shape of the other person - you love someone by defining yourself against them. It says loss hurts because there's nothing holding that part of you in place anymore. But your outline still holds, and it keeps holding. The thing you shaped yourself into by loving them, you never stop being that. The marks are permanent, so the idea of the person you loved is permanent, too." -pg 92
What existed between them shouldn't share a reality with the world outside; it should be its own truth, self-contained and defined on its own terms, the same way that a dream was true. -pg 103
What a lonely, dreary thing it is to know the truth. What a relief it is that now neither of us has to be alone in knowing.
I hope you looked west while I was looking east, and that for a moment you met my eyes without knowing it. I know you never look away, even when your eyes are closed, but I'm never certain you can see what's really there. -pg 150
Look what they'd made together. Look what they'd done to break free. -pg 203
"Your mistake is in believing he has any further use for you. You have fallen for the sane lie he always uses -- that you're the only thing in the world he will still love once its novelty has worn off." -pg 210
It was a relief and a horror to be known so perfectly. -pg 285
All they were -- all they had ever been -- was a pair of sunflowers who each believed the other was the sun. -pg 378
Exasperation plumed through him like radiation. "That isn't the same thing as never lying. You lie to me all the time, you keep things from me so you can control what I know and get me to act the way you want. Hiding the truth is still lying, and you'd know that if it weren't so fucking convenient not to." -pg 407
I want to go far away, start over, pretend we can wake up from this. To stop hurting you, and to hurt you so badly the scars will never fade. Never to see you again. Never to see anything but you. -pg 415
It wasn't about control and never had been. It was as simple as Julian waking from a nightmare and reaching for his hand in the dark. -pg 446
Graphic: Genocide, Death of parent, Gaslighting, Homophobia, Murder, Suicide, and Toxic relationship