Scan barcode
saneyah's review against another edition
4.0
4.5/5 — i’m still processing but holy shit
this book absolutely blew me away. the characters, the atmosphere, the twisted relationships... half the time you couldn't tell who you loved and who you hated (and if you're like me, relating a little too much to paul, it's even more insane). part 4 saw the story unravel and left me emotionally ruined but incredibly impressed.
the only thing that threw me off was the pacing of this book. towards the middle, it started to lag, and it slowed down a lot — enough that i almost dnfed a couple of times. the lull is difficult to get through, but the ending more than makes up for it.
this book absolutely blew me away. the characters, the atmosphere, the twisted relationships... half the time you couldn't tell who you loved and who you hated (and if you're like me, relating a little too much to paul, it's even more insane). part 4 saw the story unravel and left me emotionally ruined but incredibly impressed.
the only thing that threw me off was the pacing of this book. towards the middle, it started to lag, and it slowed down a lot — enough that i almost dnfed a couple of times. the lull is difficult to get through, but the ending more than makes up for it.
easyvisionary's review against another edition
4.0
Losing your mind when the guy you are obsessed with ends up feeling the same way.. kinda real but also insanity.
The portrayal of obsession and infatuation is done really well, you can feel the need and intensity. Julian is particularly interesting, his softening and change in tone. Or maybe it was just Paul’s skewed perception of him initially. I am not entirely sure but that’s the point. You are obsessed with the idea of someone and how you have idealized them in your mind.
Interesting turn at the end. But also not that surprising, Paul showed and acted in violence towards Julian very early. He felt angst from Julian and really went next level to not remain passive. It’s sad.
I really liked this but didn’t come out of it with any particularly strong emotions. The inspiration from real life cases maybe impact how good the story is?
The portrayal of obsession and infatuation is done really well, you can feel the need and intensity. Julian is particularly interesting, his softening and change in tone. Or maybe it was just Paul’s skewed perception of him initially. I am not entirely sure but that’s the point. You are obsessed with the idea of someone and how you have idealized them in your mind.
Interesting turn at the end. But also not that surprising, Paul showed and acted in violence towards Julian very early. He felt angst from Julian and really went next level to not remain passive. It’s sad.
I really liked this but didn’t come out of it with any particularly strong emotions. The inspiration from real life cases maybe impact how good the story is?
poetskings's review against another edition
dark
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
catrinmary's review against another edition
dark
emotional
tense
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.75
vaguely spoilery review but:
it took me a long time to read, not for lack of loving it, but bc i had a sense that every moment i loved between paul and julian would circle back in the end to only make me sad.
it took me a long time to read, not for lack of loving it, but bc i had a sense that every moment i loved between paul and julian would circle back in the end to only make me sad.
the book does such a wonderful job of critiquing the systems of violence, toxic masculinity, and academic elitism, among other things, that lead these boys down the path they take. in some ways, that can make both paul and julian hard to read. but, the love, the agony, and the desperation between them is so tangible that it makes you sympathize with them.
throughout the book, paul and julian both view each other in this sort of refracted light. you can see it in the way paul discusses julian more obviously, as the book is in his perspective. The fact that julian does it too is clear to the audience but paul is too blinded to see it.
again and again, paul and julian turn away from offers of love, community, and understanding, even, and most heartbreakingly, from each other. there were moments that the book felt slow, but in retrospect, it was the small, intentional moments between the two of them that made it the most human.
I actually found the depiction of family trauma and grief one of the most compelling aspects— the ways imagery lingered on facial expressions through, and carry those who raise us, especially when we are not looking, was very emotional for me. As was the depiction of loss and the anger of grieving, paul’s attempts to fill that hole left behind by his father, or maybe even just wreck everything around it too. it’s when his anger turns into isolation and the mistaken belief that he is truly alone, he is in danger. he and julian couldn’t have devolved any other way. even when you don’t know where it’s headed, i found myself wanting so badly, for them to accept the hands that were outstretched to them, so to speak.
Beautiful prose, beautiful character study, woven with a lot of thoughts on the 1970s and the downfalls of white masculinity, in particular. if you don’t like long, sometimes too-close and too detailed look at two characters, and their relationship (if you need fast paced, plot-driven, etc) this is perhaps not for you. for now it’s a 4.75 because i feel hollow. could be a 5.0 with reflection time when i am not lamenting. this review is so rambly n probs incoherent n dramatic but yk what, if u read the book you’d get why. everything about it aches.
p.s. paul and julian pls get help
p.s. paul and julian pls get help
bleepbloop's review against another edition
dark
emotional
sad
tense
slow-paced
3.75
it was really good but I didn't think I liked it
dreamworldsam09's review against another edition
challenging
dark
mysterious
tense
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.5
leviroma's review against another edition
5.0
4.5
i hope ate cy is happy that she's made me just as insane as she is
i hope ate cy is happy that she's made me just as insane as she is
nishana's review
dark
tense
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
4.25
Content Warnings
Graphic: Homophobia, Suicide, Violence, Toxic relationship, Murder, and Self harm
vee63884's review against another edition
5.0
This book absolutely destroyed me and will probably be my favorite for this year.
"All they were- all they had ever been- was a pair of sunflowers who each believed the other was the sun."
Maybe I won't ever recover from this book, maybe I don't want to ever recover. I adore everything about this book (). The writing is absolutely stunning, with characters as deep as the Mariana Trench. It explores a toxic gay relationship and the obsession and codependency woven throughout. Truly amazing AND A DEBUT NOVEL? I hope to see so much more from this Author because holy guacamole it was magnificent.
"I kill them because they're beautiful, and it's the only way I can keep them."
https://pin.it/7rETEO7Aj
"All they were- all they had ever been- was a pair of sunflowers who each believed the other was the sun."
Maybe I won't ever recover from this book, maybe I don't want to ever recover. I adore everything about this book (
Spoiler
except the ending but that's because I was so deeply upset by Paul's actions and not because it was bad. I mean like, these violent delights have violent ends as Shakespeare once said."I kill them because they're beautiful, and it's the only way I can keep them."
https://pin.it/7rETEO7Aj
dumb_library's review against another edition
4.0
4.5*** i love reading about terrible people!!!!!! we’ve got queer love, violence, passion, and obsession. what more could you want? perfect book for a re read in the future in which i’ll probably bump up to five stars but we’ll see.