Reviews

Gender Queer: A Memoir by Maia Kobabe

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dremadeoraich's review

emotional hopeful inspiring medium-paced

5.0

I loved this story. In these pages, Maia—who was assigned female at birth (AFAB) and now uses the Spivak pronouns e/em/eir—tells eir story of gender confusion from childhood to adulthood. It was touching, enlightening, emotional, all the things that make the reader connect with the main character in a novel, except this is Maia’s true story.

This was next on my list of banned books to read in 2024. Presented as a graphic novel, which I didn’t expect, Gender Queer does get graphic at times. I wasn’t expecting that, either. But I completely understand why e included such images. Each one depicts an element of eir confusion with eir assigned gender, and the surprise or shock of seeing these images on the page helped me to feel maybe a tiny bit of the conflict e felt in eir experiences of these moments. They heightened my compassion for eir on this journey, which was (I think) what the author intended. Thus, not only is this a book that might help others going who are going through these same crises to see that they are not alone, it is also a helpful resource for those who want to better understand the issues involved.

In July of 2023, Gender Queer was considered to be the most banned book in America; reasons given included LGBTQIA+ content, and claims of sexually explicit content, both of which are true. At least 138 school districts in 32 states had banned the book from their libraries at that time. In fact, it has topped the list for most challenged books in 2021, 2022, and 2023. But the sexually graphic imagery isn’t intended to be arousing, just revealing—not of the physicality of the actions depicted, but of the internal conflict involved for Maia. Some of it wasn’t even about sex, per se, but about the common issues present in the lives of individuals who are AFAB: menstruation, PAP smears, etc. As a reader, I didn’t feel disgusted, turned on, or any of the other things those challenges expected/predicted. Instead, I felt compassion. I came closer to understanding an experience that, while I tried to honor and respect those around me who lived it, was heretofore alien to me. I developed mad respect for the author at having shared eir most private thoughts and moments in order to show others in that same predicament that they are not alone.

Despite its numerous challenges, the book is available in some high school and public libraries; I don’t know whether it’s available in elementary school libraries, and I’m not sure it would be appropriate there. Even the author doesn’t recommend it for elementary school children. (See her interview here. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N3zO21caR_w) I don’t recommend it for everyone; reading the negative reviews on Amazon will plainly show that even many adults aren’t ready for this information, or for anything that lives outside their own lived experience. However, if there are loved ones in your life who are undergoing or have undergone this gender dysphoria, or if you want to better understand others who have, I highly recommend Gender Queer. Maia’s story, shared with tons of courage and a touch of boldness, might just open your eyes and your heart.

toastielad's review

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informative inspiring reflective fast-paced

3.5

This book is an awesome depiction of a queer person’s experience. While it doesn’t necessarily get to the metaphysical aspects and has a massive focus on aesthetics, it is still a book that people should read.

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